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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make DS1 walk home from school, let himself in and be on his own for an hour?

47 replies

WayHarshTai · 31/08/2013 10:15

Fuck.

I had this all sorted.

I have been working ft for a week now (loving it), the children are obvs back to school next week and this is the plan we've made. DS2 is 2 and will be at the CM, she will pick DD (9) up from school and DS1 will walk home and let himself in.

He'll get home at 3.40ish, DH comes home at 4.30 and will come in, say hi to DS1 and walk over to get the others (CM lives over the road).

BUT my sister has just told me she thinks that's awful, he's far too young to be left regularly like that and that it's too big a risk.

Is it? I really thought it woudl be fine but she has really told me off and said it's an awful thing to consider doing.

Fuck fuck fuck.

DH has put in a flex request to work 7-3 but it could take a month.

Should I just get the CM to pick him up? It is £200 a month that we don't have but if leaving him is so shocking then we'll have to suck it up.

He is 11 in two weeks.

Please tell me what to do.

OP posts:
DollyTwat · 31/08/2013 10:34

My ds has did this when he was in yr 6
We started with one day a week, then built it up to every day
He has a phone, so if hecwanted to go and play at the park with friends after school, he just called to let me know

He'll be catching the bus on his own next week, so it's been good to build his confidence. I might let him go into town soon too on his own.

nokidshere · 31/08/2013 10:36

It's absolutely fine. It's 45 minutes! Perfect age to start loosening your grip Grin

Get him to call the CM or GP to let Someone know he is home safely and make sure he knows what to do on an emergency.

RandomMess · 31/08/2013 10:38

Bimey your sis has no clue! Your ds will be fine Smile an hour or so is nothing like a whole day especially if he is happy with the arrangement.

Dumpylump · 31/08/2013 10:39

It's fine, and you and your ds know it's fine! Don't let your dsis get to you.
Now....what's this about worms? Grin

AnyFucker · 31/08/2013 10:40

We did have rules in place.

Mine were not allowed to play out until an adult was home. They had to stay inside and lock the door on themselves. Don't answer the house phone or the door. Don't cook anything.

Original poster
WayHarshTai · 31/08/2013 10:41

Worms drama

OP posts:
Groovee · 31/08/2013 10:44

We're thinking about doing this with ds, as by the time I get home, I'm only about 10 minutes behind him. Need to go and get that key cut this weekend.

spongebob13 · 31/08/2013 10:44

your know your DS best. however all i'd say is have provisions in place like make sure he has a phone, landline or mobile or money left or a neighbour that knows he will be home for this time JUST in case your DH is delayed god forbid a road traffic accident of some kind. just think of the worst case scenarios and have provisions in place.

teenagetantrums · 31/08/2013 10:45

Mine started that in year 6 i think, its only a short time, they were only allowed to make toast not use the cooker and not answer the door, second the spare key next door, I have lost count of the times my DD has lost her keys.

baddriver · 31/08/2013 10:45

I think he will be fine! Don't listen to your sister.

Babyroobs · 31/08/2013 10:53

I know lots of people who leave their 11 year old for a short while alone, if he is sensibe, I don't see the problem. I plan to increase my hours at work soon which will mean my almost 11 year old will need to be on his own for about half an hour until his older brothers get in .

BoundandRebound · 31/08/2013 10:54

He's 11

Your sister is mad of course it's fine

Ask him to text you when he's home so you don't worry

LindyHemming · 31/08/2013 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SlobAtHome · 31/08/2013 11:00

Sounds fine to me as well! Your sister is way over reacting

BigBoobiedBertha · 31/08/2013 11:01

Its fine. He will be fine. The only thing you need to worry about is whether your DS will be fine and it sounds like he is.

You have a lot of support around you and your DS has places to go if something happens or he wants company. If the childminder is just across the road presumably at a push he could even nip over there if the worst came to the worst?

I would put a few ground rules in first (no 'cooking', no answering the door unless you know for sure who it is, no going out without letting somebody know, that sort of thing) but after that, I would just trust him.

TheFallenMadonna · 31/08/2013 11:08

My DS did this when he started secondary, only for 2 hours, and he was almost the same age as your DS, as he had just turned 11 (summer birthday).

Whereisegg · 01/09/2013 20:19

Can he unlock your door?

Stupid question probably but my very capable 10yo dd really struggles to unlock our door to get out in the mornings, and if ever I ask her to lock it for me in the evening, I invariably end up doing it myself.

Might just be worth checking!

Other than that, goodness me no, yanbu.
I would prob have some rules though - allowed snacks, no cooker/kettle use...

coco27 · 01/09/2013 20:55

It really depends on whether your DS is happy with this arrangement.If he isn't - and think about being dark at 4 in a couple of months- then I would go ahead.If he isn't 100% then 'no way'.

Bluestocking · 01/09/2013 21:09

Why is it any of your sister's business? If your DS feels confident about it, and you think he'll be fine, then you should go ahead. He's plenty old enough to be on his own in his own home for an hour or so.

FryOneFatManic · 01/09/2013 21:44

This could almost be me.

DD is now 13, and I have just started a full time job.

DD will be getting home each day between 3:45 and 4:15 (depending on whether she gets a lift or walks home).

Plan and agreement with DD is that she lets herself in (has a key) and locks the door behind her, texts me to confirm she's home, and I'll be home about 5pm ish. But she's a sensible sort and reliable.

DS is nearly 10, but isn't anywhere near as sensible as DD, so he'll be in the after school club at primary.

cory · 01/09/2013 22:42

As long as he is happy that sounds fine to me.

LunaticFringe · 01/09/2013 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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