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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think size 12 is not "heavy"

730 replies

CruCru · 30/08/2013 18:51

I keep seeing comments on here from people who are size 10/12 who think they are heavy. I would never think this is even remotely heavy, just a healthy slim size.

OP posts:
littleoaktree · 31/08/2013 12:11

Agree with soupdragon.

IMO there are far far more people who are fat/overweight than suffer from anorexia etc.

I'm 5' 4", 8.6 stone and a size 8. When I was 9mths pg and 2 stone heavier I fitted fine in normal non maternity size 12s. If I hadn't been pregnant I would have been fat. A 10 would be fat/too heavy for me.

That's not to say that all size 12s are fat/too heavy but a significant number are and the majority would probably be healthier for losing a bit.

The problem is that we have lost our ability to see what is normal - it's the same with children - you should be able to see their ribs but with most children you can't. With adults you shouldn't have any podge etc and most people at a size 12 do have.

IMO the vast majority of body dysmorphia these days is an inability to see that most people you see around are fat/overweight.

AmberLeaf · 31/08/2013 12:14

Friggin, no, but birds is correct in that fleshy bodies are not detested by black people in the way that they can be by many white people.

In fact, they are generally seen much more positively.

SlobAtHome · 31/08/2013 12:18

"IMO the vast majority of body dysmorphia these days is an inability to see that most people you see around are fat/overweight."

This^

We have such EXTREME examples now that we think 'oh well I'm not like them' but that doesn't mean you're not overweight. People's problem with BMI show this attitude. The only thing that could genuinely affect a BMI is athletic muscle, because it's so heavy. Not even being 'big boned' can change BMI THAT much as bone is actually quite light anyway.

I am very big boned for a woman, I am very broad in shoulders and chest, but I'm still slim.

RegTheMonkey · 31/08/2013 12:22

Sizing has changed so much. When I was in my 20s (in the late 1970s) I was a size 12 which measured 34-24-36.

FrigginRexManningDay · 31/08/2013 12:26

Fleshy as in overweight AmberLeaf?

Being overweight is not better than being underweight,they are both unhealthy.

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat · 31/08/2013 12:26

I think most peoples versions of fat is ridiculous.

It's better to be slightly overweight than underweight.

At my heaviest I weighed an 18 at 5 1/2 which is majorly overweight.

I am a size 14 now, nearly a size 12 - I am around 10 and a half stone? This is the lightest I have been for a while.

I am still heavy but not AS heavy, iyswim. But I think it depends a lot on body build. I would be a size 12 easy, maybe even verging on 10 if it weren't for my thighs - they are very thick and fat.

Otherwise, I am happy with my body but the weight just doesn't shift on my thighs, for some reason.

DontmindifIdo · 31/08/2013 12:34

From a short-arsed perspective, YABU - I'm 5' - I had DD 12 weeks ago and I'm a size 10, and I look fat. A 12 is definately too heavy for me. I'm aiming for a size 8, but even then, I won't have a flat stomach until I drop to closer to a 6. However, I have tall friends who'll look thin at a size 10 and a bit curvy but not fat at 12.

Agree with Littleoaktree on IMO the vast majority of body dysmorphia these days is an inability to see that most people you see around are fat/overweight.

AmberLeaf · 31/08/2013 12:39

Fleshy as in overweight AmberLeaf?

No, fleshy, as in having a rounded bottom and curved thighs.

SlobAtHome · 31/08/2013 12:48

Aintnobody but what you are doing is saying that you were extremely overweight and now you are (much!) better. That doesn't actually say anything (either way) about your size now or people perseptions. In fact I would say you are more proving a point. You compare yourself to your own heaviest size and not to a healthy weight.

FrigginRexManningDay · 31/08/2013 12:53

Many white people detest round bums and thighs? Really? Where? I have never had any negativities or comments from a white person about my bum. I did from the idiot across the road who is not white but he is just an idiot and dick to most of the women around here.

AmberLeaf · 31/08/2013 13:06

'Does my bum look big in this'

Peoples obsession with their behind is a well known issue, it is on the whole unfounded.

I have had many negative comments about my rotund bottom over the years, none of which came from black people [male or female]

I have also had positive comments about my body shape, which were in the main from black people.

There is a different outlook about body shape among black people, much less self hating, which is what I assume Birdsgottafly was refering to.

pinkoneblueone · 31/08/2013 13:14

Depends on hight and build I think I've got slim arms as legs and little more round the middle that's I'd like but at the same time lost ALOT of weight in the last year. I am 5ft 9 and I weigh 12 stone 5 1/2 and am a size 14 my doctor thinks I'm healthy enough and sees no reason why I need to loose any more weight but I will carry on till I'm 11 stone as that's the weight I want to be. I have become a little obsessed as Although I was 17 stone before when I look in the mirror I don't see the difference and I don't see what others see everyone is different I think if I was a 10 I may look too thin and unhealthy looking

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 31/08/2013 13:14

I'm 5ft 2 and was a size 12 post baby and wasn't happy with it. I felt heavy. Now I'm a 8-10 and happier. I think height has a lot to do with it. You can't just generalise about a size.

Alisvolatpropiis · 31/08/2013 13:15

Sorry as somebody has said already the only body dysmorphia going on is the inability to see when one is over weight.

In the last week or so there was an article in a trashy magazine about the "anorexia epidemic" in the UK. I laughed. There is no such thing. There is an obesity epidemic. To the extent that being larger is more normal than being slim.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 31/08/2013 13:21

And dont forget confusing curvy with being overweight....

There's this whole thing about embracing our curves. Which is fine, but there's a difference between curvy and fat.

RussiansOnTheSpree · 31/08/2013 13:23

I'm 5'2" and a 6-8. I'm not thin. If I was a 12 I'd be huge.

SlobAtHome · 31/08/2013 13:27

Exactly Pobble. I am a 6-8 and I have curves. My hips/thighs come out and if I were over weight would be huge. That is naturally my shape. I'm curvy but slim with it.

FrigginRexManningDay · 31/08/2013 13:30

That's your experience. My sil is black and she gets positive comments about her body from everyone. She's an hourglass big bum and curvy thighs. I'd hazard a guess that she's a size 10-12. Her sister is more straight up and down and I'd guess a size 8-10 and is always moaning about her figure.

FrigginRexManningDay · 31/08/2013 13:34

Pobble Sil is definitely curvy not overweight. You could crack an egg on her stomach she's so toned,she's very into fitness. I wish I had her motivation. I'm overweight,I know I am.

WorraLiberty · 31/08/2013 13:36

This 20 year study makes sad but interesting reading

I think threads like this provoke two different kind of responses - those who respond regarding other people's attitudes to overweight/obese people...and those who respond from a health perspective.

Yes I think overweight people are generally considered more sexy by many black people. That's good for the people concerned. But they're often still risking their health.

Many people wouldn't dream of taking up smoking because they don't want to shorten their lives, and they want to see their kids and grand children grow up. Yet so many people are OK with being overweight, even though it's often a slippery slope into gaining more and more as we get older.

So if you're fat at a size 12 then you're fat at a size 12.

If you're not then you're not.

But admitting you are and doing something about it, does not mean you have some sort of eating disorder or that you're body dysmorphic (SP).

usuallyright · 31/08/2013 13:38

Some shocking, worrying posts here.
A size 6 and 'not slim?'
Seriously?
There's a word for that.
Anorexia.
It's healthier to carry some extra weight than be underweight.
Size 6 is underweight by anyone's standards. Unless you're a child.
Hiding this godawful thread now.

AmberLeaf · 31/08/2013 13:38

Yep, it is.

Half my family are black, as are many of my friends, so my observations are based on more than just my own experience.

There are cultural factors. skinny tends not to be the desired option.

Her sister is more straight up and down and I'd guess a size 8-10 and is always moaning about her figure

In what way?

usuallyright · 31/08/2013 13:39

this conversation would never happen between men.
Shame on you all.
Shame.

WorraLiberty · 31/08/2013 13:41

Oh for goodness sake usuallyright, if you don't want to take part in it then don't.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 31/08/2013 13:41

Size 6 is underweight by anyone's standards. Unless you're a child

Um, no it isn't. Some people are naturally a size six. There's a big difference between starving yourself to be a six and just being that way.