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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be utterly terrified at starting my first job in 10 years next week?

13 replies

serendippity · 30/08/2013 17:05

Because I am!!! BUT I know so, so many people who have either worked since their lo's were very little OR are very desperate for a job and would consider themselves very lucky to be in my position...
It isn't even much really, three days a week as an administrator (which I have never been- only an admin assistant previously) no child care and will still be there to pick dc's up from school and drop them off, so not a whole lot of stress from that point of view. However am now racked with panic on following things (which by the way are all probably completely irrational):
Will I still manage to juggle everything that needs doing in the house when I am out of it all day 3 days a week?
Will people I work with get seriously pissed off with me when dc get sickness bug/runs need to be looked after then I get it too and end up having to take lots of time off?
What if I find after 10 years my admin skills are way, way less impressive than I remember and I am, in fact, crap.
This is my Ds's 1st term at school and I can't even take him on his first day as he is starting off with afternoons when I will be at work :(
Should I really be starting this job when he is so new to school, or should I have got him settled first for at least a bloody term?!!
I have suffered with depression in the past, which is probably why these things seem super scary to me right now.
Hubby works like a Trojan and has done for the past 20 years, I'm not sure he understands just how freaked out I am right now and I suspect he thinks I should just be getting on with it- although he is trying to be supportive Grin

Has anyone else felt like this and therefore I am NBU
Or am I in fact a snivelling whimp who should think herself lucky and just get on with it? and therefore B totally U.
Opinions please!

OP posts:
Lweji · 30/08/2013 17:11

You have been administrating your house for the last 10 years, you'll be fine. :)

Be honest with the people there so they know that you are starting back and be humble and ask about things you need to know.

Other working mums have just left their DCs at school/nursery for the first time whilst working. Yours will be fine too.

Remember that your OH should take days off for the children too. Your job is just as important as his.

HeySoulSister · 30/08/2013 17:13

I'm starting my first job in 13 years in 3 weeks!! So nervous.... But over 400 people went for the 70 vacancies and they chose me! I'm astounded by that with jobs being scarce

Your ds will be fine. I'm sure it will be fine. It's a big change for both of you so be kind to yourself!

YouStayClassySanDiego · 30/08/2013 17:18

I'm also starting a new job next week and am feeling very nervous too.

Your ds will be fine and in a week's time you'll be handling it like a pro. Wink.

Good luck!

everlong · 30/08/2013 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILivebytheRiver · 30/08/2013 17:19

Just want to say good luck! I too haven't worked for a long time and am currently looking for work. I think it's only natural that you'll feel a bit all at sea to begin with but get through that and before you know it you'll be fine. Don't be afraid to ask questions and don't automatically assume that everyone else knows what they're doing.

Am sure your DS will be grand - don't beat yourself up. You've been at home for all his pre-school years and he's starting on a new adventure too. Enjoy it together!

Let us know how you get on.

GibberTheMonkey · 30/08/2013 17:19

You'll be bloody brilliant

GibberTheMonkey · 30/08/2013 17:20

And can you find me such a job Wink

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/08/2013 17:21

A coward dies a thousand times before his death. Not saying you are a coward BTW, just that worrying about things before they have happened means you get all the stress regardless of whether they happen or not. There will be plenty to stress about without inventing reasons.

YOU WILL BE FINE. I promise.

Fairyliz · 30/08/2013 17:37

Wow well done. Jobs like that are like goldust so you must have really shone at interview.
Just be polite, friendly, listen and ask if you don't know and you will be fine.
Just remember not to bitch in a few months when you realise you could probably do your bosses job better than them!

Mumsyblouse · 30/08/2013 17:45

A few things

Get your husband doing childcare/shopping/pick ups from the start. You can't do quite as much as you did, and if you try to, you'll be exhausted. Remember that by the time you have dropped child off at school, worked 5/6 hours and picked up, done tea etc that's a full days work, even if the hours are quite low on paper, it doesn't leave you time on those days to do anything else.

Also- working out of the home is associated with lower depression, picks you up having colleagues, external interests, this could be great for you.

Just don't try to be supermum and do simply everything at home, plus work three days a week.

Original poster
serendippity · 30/08/2013 18:01

Wow, thank you all!!
Good luck with your new job Soul Sister, let us know how it goes as well :)
I know, jobs like this are so, so rare which is one of the reasons I feel rather U to be whinging about being nervous.
I was very honest about the fact it has been 10 yrs since I worked, so they know I'm not going to come in and start whizzing spreadsheets out of thin air, I just hope when it comes to learning about these things that I am capable of picking them up- my greatest achievement since my had dd and ds has been teaching myself how to play "Twinkle Twinkle" on a keyboard...and I was ridiculously proud of myself...Blush I guess my fear is now having to wheel out my brain from it's cupboard, dust it off and actually start to use it again- for people who won't automatically love me and think I'm awesome just because I make a mean shepherds pie and will play Frustration with them.
Thanks Mumsy- that's exactly it, the hours do seem low on paper, but you're right I've other things I'll be doing as well, and it doesn't matter too much if the hovering doesn't get every single day...
It's true about lowering depression too, am really hoping this will do me some good, I honestly think it might.

OP posts:
Original poster
serendippity · 02/09/2013 12:48

Quick update as you asked me to :) first staff meeting today and all went well, everyone seems lovely and friendly. Proper 1st day tomorrow!!
Children all packed for school to reduce the things I need to do in the morning, and ds actually very excited that dh is dropping him off and not me, so it's just me that feels bad about it- which is good I guess!
mrsTP you are absolutely right and stressing before anything bad happens is something I sadly do often (hence posting in AIBU :)) it wastes far too much emotional energy and I really must stop it Blush

OP posts:
Beastofburden · 02/09/2013 12:53

bless, I can remember the thing that really freaked me out on my first day back at work after my SAHM years was.... the smell of clean office carpet. It seemsed to sum up all that was different and alien about the workplace.

remember- people at work are not a different subspecies of mega-organised brilliant people. They are just normally crap people like the rest of us, and they remain normal even at work. if you are friendly and nice and do a good job while you are there, all will be fine.

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