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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to sell these?

31 replies

GruffBillyGoat · 30/08/2013 09:31

Being the eldest child in a divorce I have somehow become the family treasure keeper, mum's veil, dad's childhood pictures, every family photo, and so on.

Amongst these are a pair of silver goblets that my grandmother (now deceased, recently enough that that was really hard to type) purchased and had engraved for their silver wedding anniversary. Unfortunately that anniversary happened to be the day they decided to announce their divorce, and the engraved goblets now stand as a sort of grave stone to their failed marriage. I realty they say "mum & dad, 19?? - 200?" I read "Here lies the marriage of mum & dad, 19?? - 200?".

Would I be unreasonable to sell these for scrap? Normally I would just go ask grandma, but I can't do that anymore and I am truly lost.

I am usually very sentimental, and can't bring myself to get rid of the veil or anything like that, but these goblets seem like a morbid reminder of a very hard time in our lives. Maybe I just want a strangers permission to do something I really want to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
GruffBillyGoat · 30/08/2013 09:33

Oh I should probably add that we are broke, like so broke I am eating one meal a day so that DP (who works) can get enough to get him through the day.

OP posts:
Turniptwirl · 30/08/2013 09:33

Does anyone else in your famil want them? You should probably ask them first, and if not then get rid if them. It's sad but there's no use hanging on to something that just makes you feel sad

Sorry for your loss

CocacolaMum · 30/08/2013 09:37

I couldn't sell them. I just could not do it. I am sorry you are broke but is there no other way?

ZillionChocolate · 30/08/2013 09:38

If they were a pre-emptive gift for an anniversary that didn't really happen then they were a mistake. I would sell them, but hang on to other stuff.

MadameJosephine · 30/08/2013 09:39

Not unreasonable at all, I'm sure your grandma would rather you had enough to eat than hold onto something that reminds you of a sad time in your life

SoupDragon · 30/08/2013 09:40

Given the marriage failure, I'd sell them without hesitation.

Doobiedoobedoobie · 30/08/2013 09:40

Ask your parents?

I imagine they'd say yes tbh, can't see why they'd want them for themselves.

I'm a bit of a hoarder in practice but in theory find it really easy to get rid of other people's junk Grin Realistically, if you keep them, what will you do with them? They'll sit in your loft/ garage in a dusty box till you die, them your children will have the dilemma. Get rid now!

eatyouwithaspoon · 30/08/2013 09:44

Sorry for your loss.
I would speak to your siblings as they probably being to all of you? If they are happy then why not it sound like they are an unplesant reminder and split the money. If they are yours just sell them.
Also go to CAB and check to see if you are entitled to any benefits. I hope things get better for you.

WilsonFrickett · 30/08/2013 09:47

I would check with your siblings to see if anyone wants them and if not I would sell them without hesitation. There is no sentimental value here - it's a gift for a celebration which didn't exist. And your grandma would want you to be able to put food on the table ahead of anything else. Older people knew tough times and they tend to be pragmatic.

I'm sorry for your loss and hope things get better for you soon.

meganorks · 30/08/2013 09:49

Given the circumstances I would say sell. Sure your grandma would understand and rather you were eating well.

dufflefluffle · 30/08/2013 09:50

Sell them! There is no sentimental attachment so go for it.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/08/2013 09:59

Yanbu. I did something similar once and I knew...just knew that the relative in question would rather I ate than worshiped a lump of metal.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 30/08/2013 10:01

The only reason not to sell them would be if you have siblings who you might fall out with later on account of having done so. I'd check with them first if those relationships are important to you. Especially as from how you put it you are 'looking after' the things rather than actually owning them.

Sorry things are tough right now. Hope your siblings agree to your suggestion if tests what you decide to do.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 30/08/2013 10:01

That's. Not tests.

sparkle12mar08 · 30/08/2013 10:42

Unless they're really nice silver you'll get sod all money for them in reality. Ask around local jewellers and see if you can get them melted into a ring or a bangle or something.

MaxPepsi · 30/08/2013 10:59

If they are yours, sell them.

If they are still family 'treasure' I'd still sell them but you'd need to split any proceeds with the rest of the family.

peggyundercrackers · 30/08/2013 11:27

i think you need to offer them to your siblings but if they dont want them and you decide to sell them you need to divide the proceeds between you and your siblings.

GiveItYourBestShot · 30/08/2013 13:17

Please at least ask your siblings if they want a share of the money. My sister is like you, the "treasure keeper" and found that one of the things she was storing was worth several thousand pounds. My share of that would have made a very big difference to my life. Never got it, though. Apparently because I had no room to store the thing in question that meant she could do what she wanted with it. Yes, I'm very bitter.

Famzilla · 30/08/2013 13:23

I would sell them. Then again I'm pretty ruthless when it comes to supposedly sentimental stuff. I melted down my biological parents wedding rings in order to make a bracelet for DD. Afterall, the marriage didn't even last a year!

Jan49 · 30/08/2013 13:27

Can you ask your mum and dad and if they agree, sell them? I don't see them as yours to sell unless your parents have both agreed that they don't want them and are willing for you to sell them and keep the money. They were a present to your parents, not you.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time financially.

Springcleanish · 30/08/2013 13:28

Definitely sell them.

olidusUrsus · 30/08/2013 13:35

I would sell them.

poorbuthappy · 30/08/2013 13:39

Solid silver or silver plated?

teenagetantrums · 30/08/2013 14:05

I would sell them.

EldritchCleavage · 30/08/2013 14:07

This is joint property though, surely? So you have to ask the rest of the family for their views, and share the proceeds with them.