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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU about toddler room in crèche?

21 replies

vvviola · 30/08/2013 09:17

(Or maybe a bit plb - precious last baby )

DD2 has been in a local crèche for just over a year now. She loves it. We had a hard time getting her settled, but now she has a great relationship with the staff and begs to go in if we pass it when she's on a day home with me.

But now it's time for her to move to the toddler room. It's total chaos in there. 35 kids (and I think 4 teachers - legal ratio for where we are, not in the UK). They have two big rooms that they can divide up but when I was in they were both open & it was so loud and chaotic.

DD1 was always in a small mixed age crèche, and DD2 has only been in the baby room up to now. So maybe I'm just not used to the chaos of toddler rooms. All the kids did seem very happy (if loud!) and the staff were engaging with them really nicely. It just seemed so chaotic.

WIBtotallyU to ask them to keep her in the baby room for ever? yes, I know, I am, but surely not totally U for feeling a bit like that?

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pianodoodle · 30/08/2013 09:20

Awww! I haven't left DD at a creche/nursery yet (she's 25 months) but I got the same feeling when she was in the toddler area at the local playfarm! Some of the bigger kids were definitely not toddlers and I spent the first half hour hovering about making sure no one jumped on her :)

She was fine though they're pretty hardy before long she was bouncing around making as much noise as the rest of them!

DameDeepRedBetty · 30/08/2013 09:21

not totally U to feel that way, but I suspect she'll adore it once she's in there!

Footface · 30/08/2013 09:22

It is a lot of children in one room, and its sounds like the staff were doing there jobs interacting. I'd go with how it felt and how happy kids were

Mumof3xx · 30/08/2013 09:23

You wouldn't be doing your dd any favours

mikkii · 30/08/2013 09:26

Our nursery has 3 age groups: up to 2; 2-3, 3+

When children transition from one room to another they have a period of visits, which start off as an hours visit with a member of staff from their current room. As they progress the visits get longer and as they get to know the staff in the new room they don't need a staff member to visit with them. I love how they reform old friendships with children who had already moved up.

I also found, that if the room was quiet (eg on a Friday) then they may spend more time visiting on those days as they find it less daunting.

Original poster

vvviola · 30/08/2013 09:34

Mikkii - that's exactly how they do it at her place too, with the added bonus that a lovely staff member who did an internship in the baby room just after DD started then got a permanent job in the toddler room, and relieves occasionally in the baby room still. So there will definitely be continuity.

But it all just seemed so crazy. And loud. And she's so little and really just a baby

(I wish I could be a fly on the wall for her first few visits - partly because they have a male member of staff there who seems great, and due to our circumstances here, the only men she has regular contact with is DH and Skype calls with my Dad. I'd love to see how she reacts to him)

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Turniptwirl · 30/08/2013 09:35

If the other kids seemed happy and your dd likes it at the moment then try it. Give it a fair trial as change is stressful for toddlers too, but I suspect once she settles she'll live it

Dobbiesmum · 30/08/2013 09:48

What looks like chaos to you will be a highly organised and entertaining atmosphere to the staff, don't worry .
She'll maybe be a bit overwhelmed at first but she'll be fine.

MammaTJ · 30/08/2013 09:51

All the other toddlers in that scary room are their parents' 'babies' too.

It sounds like they handle the transition well, as will your DD. It's only you that can't cope with the thought. I mean this in the nicest possible way, but, get a grip.

sleeplessbunny · 30/08/2013 09:53

It'll be fine, so long as they're all happy I wouldn't worry at all. Kids love to be around slightly older ones and it'll be great for her development. I bet once she's had a few visits she'll be finding the baby room boring.

froken · 30/08/2013 10:02

How old is she? If she is an 18 month old toddler I think yanbu and I would not leave my toddler baby in thatssituation. If she is a 3 year old toddler I would feel differently.

I went to see a nursery where they had 30 1.5-3 year olds and I decided that I wanted a calmer more intimateenviroment for ds.

Katiepoes · 30/08/2013 11:29

I know exactly how you feel - my daughter moved from the baby room to a 'small' toddler room at about 18 months. When I first went into the toddler room the noise and apparent chaos freaked me out and I lost sleep over my poor baby moving into that . How would she cope with those monstrous giant two year olds tearing the place apart?

She took to it almost immediately - I think it's just the huge difference between a 12 and 24 month baby that makes it look so scary in the toddler groups. Now she's in the 3+ group and is herself one of those scary toddlers - trust me she will be fine.

thegoldenfool · 30/08/2013 11:42

my 2yr old DD just moved to the bigger children´s room - the same week that she got a sister . . . .

but she loves it, she has come home trying to count and singing lots of new songs, and obviously was ready for a more exciting place, she also has a male carer and loves him!

one child her age was staying in the baby room as when the nursery were deciding who would move up she hadn´t started walking yet - everything ok now but a very late developer - her parents were upset that she was left behind and she was really really bored so moved up a week later

Original poster

vvviola · 30/08/2013 12:04

She's just turned 2 froken, but I've been home with her a lot more than DD1, and she has food allergies so I've been a bit more protective of her.

I suspect she is well ready. I'm obviously not quite there yet.

All grips gratefully received MamaTJ, I did suspect I was in need of one or two...

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LimitedEditionLady · 30/08/2013 12:08

She will be fine,youre just worrying,its what we do.Im sure if they thought she wasnt ready they eould act appropriately.

Tealteeth · 30/08/2013 12:36

I wouldn't be happy with a ratio like that, legal or not. I'd find an alternative. I adult to EIGHT toddlers is awful.

Original poster

vvviola · 31/08/2013 08:15

I won't get a better ratio here - it's better than the legal ratio. Unless I got a nanny which is so far out of our budget that it's just not an option.

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enjolraslove · 31/08/2013 10:18

My dd once she was in the 'older' room (3+) hated going back to the 2-3 room (they sometimes combined at the end of a day when numbers were low) as the children in there were 'too loud and silly' according to dd. I think she found them too unpredictable and toddler ish once she had grown past it. My point is your dd will soon want to be with her age - anything else she will find frustrating!

froken · 31/08/2013 10:31

Could you find a nursery that has tge same ratio but 17 kids and 2 teachers?

Original poster

vvviola · 31/08/2013 12:08

Froken - no. Not that I would trust with her allergies etc.

All the good crèches locally have similar sized rooms & ratios. Some have higher. I did a lot of research into them before choosing the one she's in.

A lot of the children do part time/short days etc, so I think 34 all at the same time is an exception rather than all day every day.

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Original poster

vvviola · 19/09/2013 08:57

I thought I'd come back and do a quick update in case anyone was interested.

She had her first full day in the toddler room today after doing a very gradual transition. She was absolutely inconsolable when I dropped her off, but I think that was partly due to running into her favourite person from the baby room on the way in.

When I came to pick her up she was sitting on the couch with her cup of milk beside one of the staff who was reading the rest of the kids (about 7 of them) a story. It was all lovely and calm.

She has already told me all sorts of little tales about what went on (including having lunch with Daddy, so I'm not relying on it all to be fact ).

I'm still a little nervous about the numbers, but she seems to be settling in quite well. Hopefully there'll be a gentler drop off on Monday for her next day in there.

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