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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you were eating yourself to death...

74 replies

softlysoftly · 29/08/2013 22:06

...and you couldn't get out of bed or care for yourself. Then how would you actually get the food to maintain that weight?

Surely if you were so worried about the loved one you are caring for you would stop bringing them bad / excessive food?

Yes I stupidly clicked on the a "documentary" about it.

OP posts:
KissMeHardy · 29/08/2013 22:13

There is usually a Feeder involved somewhere along the line Sad

SubliminalMassaging · 29/08/2013 22:15

I always wonder this. When so someone is so obese that they cannot even leave their bed to go to the loo, never mind go out to the shops to buy a ton of food, or go to work to pay for it, who enables them? And why? Confused

AddictedtoCrunchies · 29/08/2013 22:16

I'm yelling at the tv. She's enabling him by buying him the deep fried crap. Going to turn over soon as it's annoying me. Envy

Original poster
softlysoftly · 29/08/2013 22:18

Yep there you go, mum started it, wife continues it.

Because they love him.......

OP posts:
ClaraOswald · 29/08/2013 22:21

But who's to say they don't pour abuse on the feeder if they withhold food from them?

In some cases it is the feeder who may want to retain control, but that does mean that there must be an equal number of emotionally abusive super morbidly obese people?

monstermissy · 29/08/2013 22:22

What programme/channel? I find these programmes fascinating.

uggmum · 29/08/2013 22:24

Channel 5. The man who ate himself to death. Starts again on channel5 plus 1 at 11pm

Original poster
softlysoftly · 29/08/2013 22:24

Channel 5 right now

I think he does demand the food Clara.

OP posts:
Jellykat · 29/08/2013 22:25

Channel 5 missy

thenightsky · 29/08/2013 22:39

Jeez.

SoleSource · 29/08/2013 23:45

This programme is very sad :(

revealall · 30/08/2013 00:00

I was amazed at the difference between the positive attitude of the doctors and health care workers (we can help you and here's how)and the negativity of the man, his wife and family ("he makes me", "I can't" etc).

I got cross with the over eating is a "disease". er no.

How they could afford his endless take away food

Why the wife didn't walk away like partners of drug /alcohol abusers do.

Just all odd.

SoleSource · 30/08/2013 01:05

Food was his drug of choice. His addiction is no less worse than of a persons addiction to alcohol or drugs. I think it is about time we recognise that food is as addictive as any other substance. If he was four stones dripping wet he would have been helped straight away or given a dedicated team to ensure weight gain.

Bogeyface · 30/08/2013 01:11

I have often wondered this. I do agree that food can be an addiction (or rather eating as the type of food can often be irrelevant), but if someone is bed bound as a result, then there is no way they can continue.

I think that perhaps mummy was a feeder and the wife needs to feel needed with a side order of verbal and emotional abuse. There has to be 2 people with issues in any relationship to make this kind of thing happen, be it parent/child, DH/DW, friends etc.

Lazysuzanne · 30/08/2013 01:12

I agree that compulsive eating is an addiction in the same way that using drugs, gambling or whatever can be, and other people will often act as enablers when someone has an addiction.

However I'm thinking that it's not usually done in such an overt way, I mean would family members go and buy alcohol for an alcoholic who's dying of liver disease and too ill to leave the house.

Or am I making a dumb analogy? Confused

Bogeyface · 30/08/2013 01:16

I think it is about time we recognise that food is as addictive as any other substance.

While I think that eating is the addiction rather than the food, I agree with you. And of course the problem with food is that it is essential to life. Booze, fags, drugs, sex, gambling, etc addictions can all be treated successfully because they are not a basic human requirement. The reason that eating is not as treatable is because it requires the addict to exert a control they just dont have. No one would expect a recovering alcoholic to have that level of self control, yet we do with eating addicts, and I wonder why.

SoleSource · 30/08/2013 01:17

I feel that food addiction is far, far more complex than alcohol or drug addiction because we need food to survive and need it everyday. I feel the obesity epidemic will become a lot worse before it gets better as most things often do. More understanding, less ignorance.

DanicaJones · 30/08/2013 01:19

and also why would you want to be filmed eating yourself to death?

Bogeyface · 30/08/2013 01:19

I mean would family members go and buy alcohol for an alcoholic who's dying of liver disease and too ill to leave the house.

Sadly they do. My late MIL died as a direct result of her drinking which my FIL hated. They rowed about it, he got angry, she cried/sulked etc but he would still buy her brandy. She couldnt leave the house for the last couple of years, but was still mashed by lunchtime every day. To this day I dont know why he did it, but he blames everyone else for her death :(

In our town fairly recently there was a woman who was in court for possession of heroin that she had bought for her son as he was so abusive and horrible without it that she preferred to buy it for him than deal with him as he otherwise was.

SoleSource · 30/08/2013 01:21

Did the media company pressure the professionals to get involved? If so that could be one answer.

Lazysuzanne · 30/08/2013 01:50

whether or not addiction is a disease depends on your criteria for designating something a disease!

I'm not attempting to exonerate anyone here but no one can experience the strength of another persons cravings or compulsions.

Perhaps we can guard against addictions by developing good habits, practicing a bit of self denial, being self disciplined, learning to defer gratification.
But once in the grip of an addiction surely it's going to be extremely hard to cultivate those sorts of habits?

MurderOfGoths · 30/08/2013 02:03

"No one would expect a recovering alcoholic to have that level of self control, yet we do with eating addicts, and I wonder why."

It's bizarre isn't it? Especially given the fact an alcoholic has the option of being teetotal, and most people understand you don't offer a former alcoholic gone teetotal even a small drink, when someone addicted to eating cannot possibly go teetotal on their addiction. Much harder to resist when you have to face temptation in order to live.

HungryGeorge · 30/08/2013 02:21

I was
29 stone 6 years ago. At 5ft that was not a good look
I reached the stage where I couldn't wipe my own arse or go anywhere without needing two days to recover.. I still ordered takeaways, online shopping etc. Addiction
I think it's similar To drug or alcohol addiction in that you need to reach your own
Gutter. Difference is you can't abstain like you
Can with drugs etc and everyone dismisses you as a greedy fat cunt.

HungryGeorge · 30/08/2013 02:26

There's not much sympathy for us fat fuckers. We're just greedy cunts to be ridiculed, pointefd and laughed at. Btw I'm 10 stone now and the difference in how people treat me is remarkable, despite me being the same person

SoleSource · 30/08/2013 02:26

Yes, HungryGeorge I agree.