AIBU to think there is a stigma attached to taking up Free School Meals?

[cingolimama]

Would really value MNers experience here. DH and I have had a pretty disastrous year financially (redundancy for DH, drying up of contracts for me). However we are both working hell for leather to turn this around. In the meantime we're eligible for FSM, which frankly would be a big help. I also know that it helps the school gain a Pupil Premium.

But I'm a bit nervous about this. I don't want my daughter to be "targeted for help" as I believe anyone benefiting from FSM is (but perhaps I'm being idiotic - DD could surely use a booster in maths dept.) I also don't want any social stigma attached to this. It's a mixed school socially, but the majority is very middle class. Has anyone had any negative experience of taking this up? Or AIBU and it will all be fine?

I've just realised we fall into this category. I'd not really thought about taking it up (we currently havesome savings to fall back on and low ish overheads) I had always assumed I'd choose what my daughter had in her lunchbox.

I certainly don't want her labelled as part of a group of under achievers :-( we're both graduates (one of us oxbridge) and so far our daughter seems fairly bright. She's about to start reception and I don't want our lack of financial status clouding any judgement.

My husband was made redundand a couple of months ago and its a whole new world to me though. We live in a fairly low income estate mainly and I guess it does bother me that we live in an ex council place etc etc when most of her friends have space to invite friends back, own bedrooms etc.

" Do people really never consider that events change - people can go from rich to poor, parents alive to dead, why on earth don't people think that most parents want the absolute best for their children!!"

Of course events can change and thats why we have a generous benefit system and FSM. The debate was about the state paying for ALL childrens lunches as the school is acting parent as somebody suggested people petition for. Sheer madness, if a parent doesnt want to feed their child then its SS who should step in.

Most parents do want the absolute best but not all. Many can change their own household but either bleat on about "entitlements" or simply dont wish to work more than a few hours or work at all. If the pupil premium helps schools change the mindset and outcomes of these children then the policy has done its job.

Sheer madness, if a parent doesnt want to feed their child then its SS who should step in

and in the meantime, who should feed the child?

My children get free school meals at the minute.

There is a 'poor queue' at the secondary, for free uniform. Our borough offers a clothing grant to all children who receive free school meals- which helps a lot and I really appreciate it, as at the present time, there is nothing we can do to increase our income as we're in receipt of benefits due to my dh's ill health. We'd swap in a heartbeat, those free school meals, for my dh to be able to do what he could a few years ago (like walk upstairs without falling or put your own shoes on... just those little things everyone takes for granted).

The secondary school have a uniform shop, only place to get the logo'ed uniform. We got it last year- but then dh couldn't get inside, too big a step for his wheelchair to climb and he didn't want to go in anyway 'cause it's mind numbingly boring getting uniform or something like that. After queuing a bit with everyone else when you get to the front you have to leave to join another queue, which was beyond the barrier, so cut off from the rest, to get the free uniform and vouchers. Dh wasn't happy with that arrangement. It was a little bit uncomfortable, little bit embarrassing. I'm not sure what they could have done otherwise though, it's not as if there were signs.

The secondary are cashless, they have the money 'on their finger'. So no one knows.

I think FSM have little stigma now...does anyone actually KNOW beyond the office staff?

There has been an argument FOR universal FSM to ensure children get a good lunch rather than some of the rubbish in lunch boxrs.

I don't think we need universal FSM...just more education about lunch box food.

Then again some of the school meals leave something to be desired.

I'm a bit clueless about this, but can you actually leave a state school if you're not happy with it and go to another school, or would you have to home school? And if you can change schools, would you be on file as a "troublemaker"?

I'm now wondering if I should fill the form in to get the premium for school but still send a packed lunch in. I hope it will just be short term so will it make any difference to the school if its just a couple of months?

Honestly, schools do not label children eligible for FSM as underachievers. We see individuals. My highest scored GCSE pupil this year was eligible for FSM. She got 100 per cent on all four papers.

Similarly, having wealthy parents does not necessarily mean the child will have great support. The biggest underachiever I've ever known was the son of a two doctors. His HOY spent hours over the last year chasing him around the woods near school as he thought spending lesson time smoking weed was more important than actually attending lessons. His parents failed to attend any child action meetings held.

If you are eligible for FSM do not feel put off claiming them because of what you fear the school will think of you. We aren't thinking that you are shiftless or neglectful. Some of us were that child who had the FSM.

Toys, course you can leave a school if you are unhappy, you just need to find another with a space. You won't be labelled a troublemaker, you don't have to tell the new school why you are leaving if you don't want to. Honestly, if you are unhappy with the school, change. Despite what the government wants you to believe there are lots and lots of good schools out there with compassionate people working in them who got into education because they care.

It's not an issue for me, thank goodness, but just wanted to know.

You know that feeling when you think you must be speaking a foreign language??

"I feel like it's wrong to pick a group of people (the unemployed and the poor, for example) and allocate money to support academic performance in schools based on that"

Which bit of "statistically, children from poor/disadvantaged backgrounds do not achieve as well as children who are not from poor/disadvantaged backgrounds" don't you understand? It's not an assumption, or a judgement, or snobbery or anything - it's a fact!!!!! And schools with a lot of children from poor and disadvantaged backgrounds get more money to try and compensate. Why is that controversial?

curlew. If 'they' did nothing to bridge the gap so to speak, people would complain about that too.

My children get FSMs, I did too for a time.

Whatever help is allocated on the basis of the fact that statistically some children in these circs don't do as well is a good thing, I don't take offence at it at all, I understand why it is done.

I don't know why some find this a problem?

My children are doing ok and I take an active role in their education, we have 100s of books in our home. I have never felt judged nor have my children been treated unfavourably because of their FSM status.

I know there are children who need the help more and It's good that they get it. I think it is beneficial to all the pupils too.

As I said earlier on the thread, I think worries about stigma lie more in the way the worrier feels about what it means to be on FSMs.

I have never felt ashamed and neither have my children.

Twasbrillig yes it will make a financial difference for 6 years of education

Can I just say that students are judged individually on their academic effort and performance, they will be judged an under achiever only if they don't fulfil their potential

There is some confusion on this thread re the aggregate, statistical analysis of groups of students and individuals. A student is assessed individually on their behaviour, effort and achievements and that is what parents should be concerned about, the school and dfe report on aggregates and of course we have to identify by groups - social deprivation, ethnicity, gender, sen to ensure we serve all students adequately to their needs. And if there is a difference we need to put more resources in to support because being poor or of a specific gender or ethnicity etc should make no difference.

And the only thing I have ever judged a parent for whilst working at a school is having to pull them away from beating hell out of their child on school premises and getting backhanded in the process.

Thirty years ago kids on free school dinners were treated like absolute shit. (Ie. they had to stand in a seperate dinner school at my infant school.) However 30 years ago schools also had the cane and no one cared if children learnt nothing. Thank gawd the world has moved on.

It is well known that povety can affect academic achievement and this is why the pupil premimum has been introduced to stop poor children from losing out. There is some tracking of the achievment of children on fsm to stop the pupil premimum from being wasted.

I suggest you claim the fsm as not even your child would know unless you tell them.

Bound -not sure I follow - if we're only on jobseekers for a few months, and so only eligible for fsm for a few months surely the school only gets the premium for those few months? That was the context in which I was asking whether it was worth me signing up to give the school the premium.

Would it follow my child for six years as she would have been marked as fsm on entry?

They don't make them wear a sandwich board saying Free School Meals Kid' or sew a yellow star on their uniform or anything.

Sorry, I haven't read all the thread. IME so far neither of my 3 kids has ever discussed who gets of doesn't FSM. They've been at 5 schools between them so far, all relatively well off areas (but you never know). Please don't worry about it, use it if you have to.

I don't see why children need to be aware of who has free school meals and who doesn't, when it can so easily be avoided. At our school, parents put a dinner money envelope in a box in school office at beginning of the week. Each lunchtime there is a hot dinner register and a packed lunch register, so all the children know what they're doing.

ALL hot dinner children are included on that register, whether their parents pay or have free meals, so they're not treated any different.

Much better than the system my old primary used to have, where Free School Meal children had to go up to food counter with a token. Such a shame they were made to stand out in that way

So many people do not even pay by cash these days, but put a cheque in at the beginning of each half term, straight to the office or whatever, that I see no real likelihood of the children being aware of who is or isn't paying for what.

Twasbrillig

The finances work so that any child who has been on free school meals for a period (I think over a census date) within the last 6 years means the school gets an additional pupil premium funding

So they might have been FSM in year 4 and not since and the secondary school will get PP funding through to year 9 to help support programmes for all FSM children

"The pupil premium was introduced in April 2011 and is allocated to schools to work with pupils who have been registered for free school meals at any point in the last six years (known as ?Ever 6 FSM?).

Schools also receive funding for children who have been looked after continuously for more than six months, and children of service personnel."

Ah thanks Bound, that makes sense. I'll see if I can register once term starts but say I don't want the meals. If the school gets money for six years that's worth it!

Absolutely we write to parents every year asking them to register if they possibly can because of the PP but it is their decision whether they send in packed lunch (I don't see why you would bother but then our catering is pretty good and we also have salad and sandwich bars)

She's going into reception of an infant school. Some people have a cooked lunch and its taxied across from another school with kitchens and reheated (yeuk). There are very few in reception who have cooked I believe so would rather she sat with her new classmates. I'd feel different if cooked meals were the norm.