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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

How would you be feeling if

21 replies

floatyflo · 29/08/2013 11:25

..no one in your family {who is aware}, got in touch to ask how 12 week scan went??

Its been two days and not heard anything from anyone, mum and stepdad, dad and stepmum, sister.

OP posts:

toomanyfionas · 29/08/2013 11:26

I would be phoning to tell them!

Fancies40Winks · 29/08/2013 11:26

I would be absolutely gutted. (Well if it was my family I would wonder if they had all been swept away by an unreported tornado because otberwise its unimaginable. ) Are they usually like that?

BeaLola · 29/08/2013 11:28

I would call them. Could be they don't want to hassle you, are afraid that as they haven't heard fro you that it may not be good news ?

Call

HugAndRoll · 29/08/2013 11:28

I would have (and did when I was pregnant) automatically updated them without waiting to be asked.

Maybe they think you haven't contacted them due to a problem and they are giving you space.

Hope it did all go ok though.

Enb76 · 29/08/2013 11:28

I'd tell them - I wouldn't wait until they asked. In fact, they are probably thinking "why hasn't she told us how her 12 week scan went"

HugAndRoll · 29/08/2013 11:28

X post bea

AnaisB · 29/08/2013 11:28

I would have phoned them already. Is this a pattern?

SaucyJack · 29/08/2013 11:29

Is it your first by any chance?

Sirzy · 29/08/2013 11:30

I would be dubious to ask someone about a scan incase there was a problem and they didnt want to talk about it. I have found most people are quick to tell you if they want to talk about it.

I would just phone them and tell them.

Hegsy · 29/08/2013 11:31

Why didn't you contact them? As soon as my SIL had her scans she contacted MIL who in turn let DH know everything ok. Next time we visited we saw scan pic. Same both times.

They may very well be really worried now thinking something is wrong.

I'd give them a call

Original poster

floatyflo · 29/08/2013 11:35

I planned to phone them or drop them a text as soon as left hospital. But phone battery died .

Then we went straight to in-laws for dinner, who then decided to spring a surprise afternoon trip to local zoo for us and ds. Was feeling bad all day knowing I was probably missing calls and texts. Got home early evening, put phone on charge straightaway, to find...nothing...form anybody.

I left it as needed to get ds to bed, but all day yesterday heard nothing from anyone. Now its become a thing where I feel like I will wait for them to get in touch now. Ya know, just to see how long it takes them. For all they know, there could have been a problem

They are usually like this yes. Not so much my df and stpmum. But def my Mum. I wish we were closer and did more things together but she is so closed off, and distant and judgy. I feel like she only rings when she wants something.

OP posts:

Original poster

floatyflo · 29/08/2013 11:38

God after reading that I am well aware I sound like such a child.

It is my second saucyjack

Even my dsis, who is pregnant too, had her scan last week, didn't get in touch. I did with her, and she said that mum text her saying how did it go. Is it just because its my second??

OP posts:

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 29/08/2013 11:41

Maybe they thought you'd update them, when no news came they feared it was bad news. What were they like when you were expecting DS?

Eilidhbelle · 29/08/2013 11:45

If I hadn't heard from you, I would assume you'd had bad news and I would wait until you phoned me. Just give them a wee phonecall now, it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. And congratulations on the baby!

waltzingmathilda · 29/08/2013 11:47

I found the endless nosiness calling through out pregnancy irritating.

SaucyJack · 29/08/2013 11:50

I think you're being a tad precious then, but all families are different.

I'm on my third, and apart from the usual congrats (and usual lecture on contraception from my dear ol' ma) I haven't been asked for any updates.

DP's parents are far more interested, but that's because this is his first baby.

Original poster

floatyflo · 29/08/2013 11:50

Thanks for all your replies. I will of course give them the benefit of the doubt.

Despite dsis, who stills lives at home with Mum, popped by last night to pick something up and said nothing about it.

They've just forgotten haven't they?

OP posts:

noobieteacher · 29/08/2013 11:51

They are probably terrified to call in case there is something wrong. They are probably desperately waiting for you to call them.

It's all about you and your bump now, everyone else (apart from Dad) is completely insignificant. They know this too and that's why you tell them what's going on, not the other way round.

Enjoy the ride

noobieteacher · 29/08/2013 11:53

Call Dsis now. Why do you think she 'popped by to pick something up'?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 29/08/2013 11:57

Is it your sister's pfb or has she other children? As both pregnancies are close together are you worried she's hogging all the baby attention? Is her nose out of joint because you & DH are expecting DC2 a little after her due date?

If you feel consistently overlooked you will find huge consolation in having your own family unit of 3 soon to be 4. If PILs are showing interest and support they will make up for your parents' apathy.

LRDPomogiMnyeSRabotoi · 29/08/2013 11:57

I agree with others - I would never ask about a scan and I would be dying to know.

(I hope it all went well btw).

Flip