To be so scared of physical changes

[Rachael200694]

I am very very soon to be a first time mum and although I'm not worried about having a baby or even going through labour, I'm very worried about my body. I know some will be mad cause at least I have my health, but the thing is I don't feel I do! Physically I am healthy but mentally I am extremely unhappy with my body, I feel it makes me depressed and makes me sometimes think there's no point being alive, as daft as that may sound. So please hold back on any lectures!

I know I probably won't care about my body for a while when I have my gorgeous bambino I'm sure it'll creep back into my mind eventually.
Some may argue appearance doesn't matter but when it knocks your confidence and brings you to tears and ruins relationships I feel it really is important to feel good about yourself.
As someone who has always loathed their body since about 13 years old, getting stretch marks and my boobs looking even uglier is a little scary!!

I just feel like I have an endless list of problems that I'm terrified I won't be able to fix! I'm abnormally hairy and have to be waxed on my face, neck and the top of my back. They're blonde hairs but there's a lot!

My boobs are hideous. I have puffy nipples and daren't even take my bra off in front of ANYONE including my partner. Since getting pregnant my nipples have got really big and dark so I feel even uglier and worry they're sagging i feel like I need some sort of surgery to make my nipples normal and even improve the shape of my breasts, I want so desperately to be a normal happy woman who can take their bra off, it hurts me that I can't!

I've never had a nice flat stomach and feel scared its going to haunt me even worse than before.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this, just feel I need a bit of a rant and to talk about it.

Maybe sharing some stories about your own experiences would be nice? Just feeling very lost and scared!

No woman is ever the same. We come in all different shapes, colours, sizes. Doesn't mean you aren't beautiful. Pregnancy does strange things to our body, but maybe now is time for you embrace those changes, and realise they're happening for an amazing reason.

I'm sure your problems aren't as bad in reality as you may think they are, and I'm speaking as someone who has her fair share of body hang ups.

Ease up on yourself a bit, you've plenty of time after pregnancy to try and improve the things you can realistically improve upon.

I'm sure your partner thinks you're beautiful, yes?

Poor you. :( I think it is really tough for women to speak up about how they feel about their bodies after pregnancy, as there is so much focus on the baby and being safe and well, rather than being happy with how you look.

They are completely separate things, though. You can be delighted that you have a lovely new baby, at the same time as being sad about how your body has changed - that doesn't mean that you're ungrateful for being able to have children.

I know it doesn't seem like it when you're not happy with them, but I don't think any two women's nipples are the same! There is no 'normal' when it comes to boobs.

Have you considered having any counselling? It's perfectly normal to have worries about your body, but to the extent that you're having thoughts about not wanting to be alive due to it suggests that you should try to get help from someone. :)

I'm glad someone is able to separate the happiness of having a child with the worries about your body, a lot of the time I see people having a go at people for being so selfish and vain for caring about themselves ever again after having a child!

I feel you need to be as happy as you can in yourself to have the best chance of raising a happy child so you don't pass worries on!

I don't constantly feel depressed over it but I do a lot when for example there's some sex scene on tv where it's this beautiful woman taking her bra off and looking amazing, then I feel as though I might aswell leave my partner because that must be what he wants and not me. My partner himself doesn't make me feel that way at all, he's brill but the way seeing other women makes me feel drives me mad!

It's kind of putting a dampener on my pregnancy really because I'm worried about breastfeeding my baby cause I don't want to get my boobs out infront of anyone
I just don't understand why my nipples are puffy, I really don't! Is it a teenage thing I haven't grown out of? I tried googling it and the only thing that came up was mucky websites saying "teens with puffy nipples" or sites for men with the problem needing help!

But you know real women don't look like those on TV? Who have all the money and time in the world to go to the gym with their personal trainers, hire personal chefs to cook them every meal that consists of 50 calories have excellent lightening an a team of professionals ready to make them look what we have been brainwashed into thinking is perfect at the click of a finger?

Your partner is with you, he is having a child with you... Without going into much detail I'm pretty sure he would have to find you attractive for you to have achieved that

You are you, Imperfections and all. Own it, because honestly there's not much else you can do. We're all going to lie there when we are on our deathbeds and wish we didn't waste so much of our life worrying about our boobs not being symmetrical, or our muffin tops.