To wonder why he's like this?

8 replies

annabanana84 · 28/08/2013 22:12

Not so 'D' P and I have been together for an age. We live together. I'm almost 30, and he is mid 40's.

We have talked about starting a family, and because I suffer from endometriosis/fibroids, and because of his age, I'd like to start asap.

Tonight I brought up the subject and suggested we could start TTC next year. That's the only sentence I said, and he told me rather abruptly to stop mithering him on the matter. I don't go on about it, and so now I'm hurt. I'm especially hurt because in his past two relationships, both women had dc and he took them on as his own and he wasn't with the women two mins. He no longer sees the kids, but if he can play being daddy to someone elses kids, why can't he discuss them with me? I feel like telling him to fuck off and LTB. When we discuss a family usually he talks openly about it, but always talks about 'the right time'. When is the right time? I had a miscarriage at 18 and was devastated. I wanted another baby since then for 12 whole years, but have waited for 'the right man'...thought I'd found him, but obviously not.

OP posts:

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 28/08/2013 22:16

He never "took them on as his own" though. If he had really then he would still see them. You will need to make him discuss this or you may find yourself childless.

grobagsforever · 28/08/2013 22:16

Sit him down and demand an adult conversation on the issue. YANBU

SolidGoldBrass · 28/08/2013 22:20

I don't think this man is atall a good choice to have children with. He doesn't consider women or children to be people at all. He may even have been abusive to his former partners and/or their children.

You are 29. Don't waste any more time on this dick. There are nicer men out there. And if you really want children, in a few years' time, you could consider going it alone, which is a much better option than letting an inadequate shit impregnate you and being lumbered with him for years.

Finola1step · 28/08/2013 22:22

Ok. So you're 29, he's 45ish. He's never had children of his own. Does he really want to be a parent? Maybe the thought of being the fifty something Dad at the school gate is just too much. Time for a big, serious discussion OP. Good luck.

CharityFunDay · 28/08/2013 22:24

Woah, there! Talk about jumping to conclusions.

SeaSickSal · 28/08/2013 22:25

I would sit him down and tell him that it's a deal breaker. Either you start trying next year or you're off.

If he's avoiding this, I'm sorry to break it to you but it sounds like he doesn't actually want kids. You need to get a straight answer from him and if you can't get one treat it as a no.

With your fertility problems you don't want to leave it to late. (And I have suffered these myself so am not being heartless, just stating a fact).

Onesleeptillwembley · 28/08/2013 22:27

Why would you want a 'man' that 'took kids on within two minutes' and then doesn't see them? He sounds like a knob. Go find a decent grown up.

Bluesockseight · 28/08/2013 22:29

SGB I don't think this man is atall a good choice to have children with. He doesn't consider women or children to be people at all. He may even have been abusive to his former partners and/or their children.

Are you a swami or something??????

Flip