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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irked I'm hosting a party which wasn't my idea?

21 replies

Kiriwawa · 28/08/2013 21:20

well I might not do it if you all tell me IANBU. Grin

Basically my best mate lived in my town while she was growing up. I lived somewhere else. We met in London doing our degree and she moved to one town and I moved to another, which just happened to be the town she grew up in ( still with me?)

she's been visiting a friend from university today who lives fairly nearby and has come up with the bright idea that we should have a uni reunion where I live. So basically at my house. She's asked if she can stay but I know it will mean I'm hosting the party too.

WWYD? She's talking about May bank holiday so it's not imminent but I just feel a bit bullied. I do like the other people she wants to invite but I don't bother keeping in touch and neither do they. It's just my bezzer who is so keen to see everyone.

OP posts:
EldritchCleavage · 28/08/2013 21:22

Say no. If she's that keen, she can arrange a venue. If they're that keen, they can all chip in.

FariesDoExist · 28/08/2013 22:08

There is no way I would be made to host a get-together. Tell her you're not keen on the idea, before she gets carried away and starts inviting people. Maybe she didn't think it through fully before blurting out her idea.

ImpulsePineapple · 28/08/2013 22:10

No is a complete sentence Grin

(if you need excuses, I don't have room/money/interest in this, work fine)

LozzaCro · 28/08/2013 22:10

Why don't you just meet for a meal and drinks out? Mate can still stay at yours? Don't be pressured into having people at yours - plus this means it is easier for HER to organise Smile

Fairy1303 · 28/08/2013 22:13

Just say 'great idea! I was thinking slug and lettuce would be a great place as they do 2 4 1 cocktails all evening.' Don't even acknowledge that your place is an option.

SolidGoldBrass · 28/08/2013 22:24

There are plenty of pubs, restaurants, etc, who will allow you to book a chunk of the premises free of charge if you reckon that there will be a reasonable amount spent on food and drink. Like Fairy says, just suggest venues. You don't want to get stuck with all the pre-party cleaning and the p0ost-party clean up, why should you?

LondonInHighHeeledBoots · 29/08/2013 07:56

hahaha hahaha no way. She wants a reunion she sorts it out. She has plenty of time till the may Bank holiday to find somewhere. be sure to ask for your invite. sheibvvvu

SkinnybitchWannabe · 29/08/2013 07:59

I agree with Fairy casually mention some pubs/resturants near you..dont even mention your home.
If she does, keep it simple and say no.

diddl · 29/08/2013 08:17

Depending on where everyone lives now-surely your "bezzer"??!! can use her own place to host a reunion?

Mojavewonderer · 29/08/2013 08:32

It's your bloody house and if you don't want to host this event then tell her you would rather it be away from your home and seeing as it was her suggestion anyway she should organise and host it!

FetchezLaVache · 29/08/2013 08:35

Has she actually said she wants it to be at your house or are you just extrapolating? Either way, when it next comes up just say you think neutral territory would be better so everyone pays for their own ale, your Dresden china won't get broken and there's no preparation/cleaning involved for yourself.

ViviPru · 29/08/2013 08:52

Has she actually said she wants it to be at your house or are you just extrapolating

^^I wondered this too

Inertia · 29/08/2013 08:55

She can stay at yours , but the party is held in a pub or restaurant surely ?

PacificDogwood · 29/08/2013 09:00

I too think that maybe you are projecting a bit? Has she said the reunion is to be at yours or that you are to organise it??

"Great idea! I know just the place for it" sounds like a good response to me Grin.

Btw, I was part of a 20 year school reuning committee shows her age whilst living thousands of miles away, so being local does not automatically mean you are het.

Original poster
Kiriwawa · 29/08/2013 09:30

It's a fair point on whether I'm expected to host the reunion. If its a daytime thing, we'll both have to take our kids along which is not a great idea for a number of reasons (both our children have complex needs which aren't especially conducive to sitting around while adults chat) and she won't countenance a babysitter for her child (due to the complex needs).

But I do now feel that it's not unreasonable for me to say I don't want to host it.

OP posts:
raisah · 29/08/2013 09:39

Can you not suggest a pub with a private function room /restaurant so everybody pays their own way?

Or say to her that she can stay but the reunion must take place in a different place or she must do all of the cleaning after the party.

raisah · 29/08/2013 09:41

Or picnic in the park so the kids are entertained aswell.

meganorks · 29/08/2013 09:42

I don't see why you assume you would ne hosting. I would just have a think about a few venues where you could do it so when she mentions it again you can tell her your ideas. Ie - we could go to such and such pub for drinks/local restaurant for a meal/that pub has a seperate room we could have to ourselves etc.

Alternatively why don't you suggest a reunion where you went to uni? Would make more sense really - visit places/areas you used to go to.

Original poster
Kiriwawa · 29/08/2013 09:44

meganorks - for all the reasons I said in my second post, that wouldn't work :)

But I'll have a think about places we could get together where the kids might be reasonably happy and which don't involve me doing a load of driving

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 29/08/2013 10:22

There are quite a few pubs/restaurants which would allow you to hire out a room and welcome DC aswell. Some pubs have softplay areas attached (though OK it depends on your DCs' respective needs as to whether this would be any good to you).

PacificDogwood · 29/08/2013 10:29

Oh, I see, both your situations sound a bit complicated.

But no, I don't see any reason why you should be hosting the whole thing.

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