turned his phone off... aibu

[Jujo2013]

Myself and DH NEVER go out together. In fact we rarely go out separately.

We have one DD who is almost three. We both work full time, if I go out on a weekend, tends to be to family for a cuppa, couple of hours, and DD comes with, sorry if rambling, want to paint a proper picture.

Myself and DH got into a bit of a mess financially, which contributes to fact we rarely go out, and when we do, we go as a family (all three of us), not nights out/meals just two of us etc.

Anyway to get to the point, tonight DH has gone out with some people from work. I dont begrudge him going, but I dropped him off with DD in car, as I pulled up saw an old colleague, said hello, was catching up (chatted maybe 5 mins as where we were I couldnt really park) DH just kinda said bye then and wandered off. Didnt notice at time but he had not said anything to DD.

I say goodbye to old work colleague and get back in car, DD asks for daddy. I say hes gone out with his friends, she gets upset as she wants to say bye. I suggest we call him....

This is where aibu comes in, AIBU to be annoyed that he has turned his phone off, and is still off, never said bye to DD? what if something happened? I wouldnt be able to get hold of him!

I think what annoyed me most is phone is rarely out of his hand when at home, yet he goes out and just 'switches' off!

Dont get me wrong DH is a good dad, but never does day to day stuff, bath bedtime etc. And can be short tempered... just annoyed he seems to have wandered off no goodbye or anything, and yet again I am left dealing with upset DD.

AIBU to want to confront him when he comes home?

You don't need to confront him. Just ask him if he can leave his phone on in the future in case you need to get hold of him.

Don't confront him when he gets home. He'll be drunk and unreasonable.

Wait until the hangover has lifted and just say you'd like him to keep his phone on just in case of emergency.

How can you be 100% sure it's off, rather than battery/ out of service?

Phone being turned off is not an issue at all for me. I think if you were having a night out it's reasonable really.

Sounds like you have other issues though, which makes me think this might be a straw that broke the camels back type situation?

If he doesn't do much with dd and is short tempered, this is your focus point, not his phone being turned off while out with friends.

Is it definitely switched off? There are a couple of places I go where I get no signal and phone goes straight through to voicemail.

YAB a little U. He could be somewhere where his phone has no signal. He also had no idea how long you'd be talking to your ex colleague.
However, he should have said goodbye to DD.

Don't 'confront' him when he gets home.
Wait until tomorrow morning and explain that you are concerned that he turned his phone off as you might of needed him in an emergency.
You knew where he was, I think he just probably wasn't thinking. I've walked off without saying goodbye
If you confront him tonight it will end in a row.

What dexter said.

Perhaps he just wanted some time completely away from things, although I can understand why you want to be able to contact him in an emergency so just ask him nicely.

OP you said that you didn't notice that he didn't say goodbye ? If you were chatting and didn't notice are you certain that he didn't say goodbye.

Also maybe just make sure that his battery did not just die. You can confirm this when he comes home and see if it was off or battery dead.

Maybe he hasn't turned it off. Give him the benefit of the doubt. There might be no signal. Even if he has turned it off, he is, by your admission, on a rare night out. Let him enjoy it. Organise your own night out doing something you like and he can stay at home with your DD.

The other stuff about bath times etc, he should be involved with this sort of thing. If you want him to do more then tell him.

Thanks for all your replies... your right I cant be 100% sure he didnt say goodbye.

Think am a little tetchy as DD been a tinker and took a while to settle, and am jealous of him being out having a good time! . Feels like I can never switch off... so why should he?

What you are saying makes a lot of sense, am off to pour a big glass of

In the olden days people did not have mobile phones. They went out, had a nice time and came home. If there was an emergency the person in charge of the children sorted it out.

If he is in a busy place he may not even have heard his phone ringing. Just relax.

I think he has no signal. My dad goes in this pub and we cannot contact him until he leaves. He loves that pub.

How do you know has turned it off and not being in a place with no signal. Thats leaving aside that having your phone go off whilst with other people is quite rude, particularly if it is for something so trivial as saying good bye to his daughter.