To not leave the baby monitor with the neighbour when I go out?

[sunmonkey]

In our street many people do this (I live in Holland - so maybe its a cultural thing). I asked my neighbour if she could sometimes babysit for me in the evenings as a return favour for taking care of her two oldest kids after school one day a week in exchange instead of being paid. (she was going to sew for me but it didn't work out). She said 'yes I can take the baby monitor' - she lives two doors away - but I said, I'm not comfortable doing that so could you sit here. All my other neighbours do this with each other as we are all friends but as I had a bad experience as a child with babysitters I don't like the idea, never mind that if he does wake up when I am out he would freak out if there was no-one in the house and she might not hear him walking around the house either. Anyway, felt like a weirdo as I am clearly the odd one out when it comes to this. I am sure that most people here would agree, but what do you really think?

BTW he is 5

You're completely right!!!

YANBU. Each to their own. HOwever I wouldnt accept any babysittkng at all from anyone whk thought this was ok - nothing stopping her popping home while you are out.

Totally agree with you. But then again i live in central London. Although I find it slightly reassuring to hear how laid back parents are in Holland for some reason. I still couldn't do it! It's not just child abductions, home invasions etc i would worry about... Leaving a child in a house alone? If he stuck his finger in a plug hole, lit a fire, tripped (sorry to sound morbid) she would NOT be there quick enough.

Yes Chatty you are right about the laid back parents - they like to encourage independence here. I am virtually the only one who makes my son wear a helmet on his bike for instance. It does have an element of reassurance - not to worry over small things etc. But I still won't ever do what she suggested although I feel hysterical if I explain the reasons why and know I would get the response of - 'oh that would never happen'.

YANBU imo.

Why do they not want to sit in others houses-so that they don't leave their own children??!!

We're in Germany & recently went out with my husband's boss & wife who were quite proud of the fact that they'd left their 7 & 9 yr olds in bed.

But it was OK as the 9yr old was sensible & would phone them if necessary.

I know that nothing is more likely to happen with no one there.
If the kids usually sleep, then it's likely that they still will.

Just seems odd to me.

I just couldn't take the chance that one had a nightmare, felt ill, just woke up & realised mum & dad weren't there & felt lonely/scared.

I'm also not sure how it teaches "independence"

I agree with you. I was a very independent child and my dad used to leave me alone in the day no problem. (we were not in the uk) One night my dad had to take a relative to the airport and asked me if I wanted to go with but it was late and I was tired so I said no and went to bed.

It was all ok till a sudden storm broke out and cut the power out. All the dogs were barking and even though I was 10 I was petrified. I phoned my ndn and she took me to her house till my dad came back.

It was all ok in the end but I still remember how I felt and if it had been in the day I would have been fine so I won't be leaving DD alone at night.

my MIL used to live in Holland and says that it was quite normal for mums to leave baby behind at home alone while they went out on the school run with the older kids; she was considered to be quite odd for bringing the baby with her!

YANBU by the way.