To not want my Mum's gift to me

[LittleEsme]

My Mum has bought me a personal number plate for my car. It's a random gift that was totally unexpected, and I don't want it, never been interested in having one.

I especially don't want it since it makes my car older than what it is!

My Mum is chuffed to bits that she found a plate with my exact initials and I really don't want to hurt her. I'm guessing it cost her a few hundred quid too.

I'm frustrated - she knows I'm hardly rolling in it - the cash would have been more appreciated!

I feel very ungrateful though. Any suggestions on how to hangle it?

If it's just a standard plate that happens to have your initials on it I'd keep it and put it on, what difference does it make if it makes your car appear older? How would most of us know that they are your initials?

I hate personalised plates. I think they make you / the car instantly recognisable by loads of random motorists. I would not put one on my car even if someone paid me to. I think your only option is to tell your mum the truth and see if you can sell it.

Sorry but its really ungrateful, specifically because of this - "
I especially don't want it since it makes my car older than what it is!"

So the number plate IS important to you then?

The 'hang it in the house' comments don't really work. If you keep the plate but don't put it onto a vehicle you need to pay a retention fee to maintain ownership of the plate otherwise it reverts back to the DVLA. Retention costs £80 a year.

You have two options, put it on (another £80 to transfer it to your vehicle but then the costs stop) or you have to tell her you don't want it or continue paying retention.

It could be thoughtful because it's possible she researched it, but she could easily just have come across it somewhere and it's apparent it's something the OP never said she would want and it seems to be misjudged.

Tricky, though, about what to do.

If really obvious, like AMS1, I don't think I'd want it and would rather sell on and explain why.
If resembling a more normal number plate, people hardly notice it and who cares how old your car seems to be, if it's in good condition?

Is it going to affect the value of the car? Will you lose significant ££ if you sell because it has been 'aged' by these plates? If so, I would tell her. If it won't make much difference then I would use them. If it's just your initials then nobody will know it's personalised unless they know you. It's not like it says SE X111 is it?

The purchase can be cancelled within 10 days if it was done through the DVLA

I have a private plate. The last 3 letters are my grandad's initials because it was money from his estate that enabled me to buy my car. Every time I see my car, I think fondly of him and have a little smile. The year of the reg plate ages my car by 2 1/2 years. Who cares, unless being seen in the most up to date model is what is important to you.

As for the "will it reduce the resale value?" when you come to sell your car, you simply fill in the form and take the reg with you. If you ever buy a new car, you always have to pay the £80 registration fee, even if you just have the "ordinary" registration.

I think it IS a thoughtful gift, as your mum will have done some research to find this plate - took me over a year to find mine, and it's just a way of slightly personalising your car. Better the plate than fluffy dice!!!

To those getting confused about it 'ageing' the car - a personalised registration in no way lowers the value or changes the age of the car it is put on. LittleEsme anyone interested enough in cars will be able to

1. tell it is a personalised reg [99% are formatted very differently to normal registration plates]
2. know which model/ age your car is from looks alone, not the plate
3. know that a personalised plate in no way 'ages' a car. Anyone who can't tell those three things probably couldn't care less about cars and doesn't give a stuff what year your car is anyway!

I think you are being ungrateful as it is a thoughtful gift she has gone to some time and expense to sort for you.

I would really hate this as a gift, personalised plates are really naff. I don't care if that makes me sound ungrateful. But not sure how you'd get out of using it without hurting your mum's feelings.

Just because she's thought about it doesn't really make it a 'thoughtful' gift. It's a pointless gift if it's something that the recipient doesn't really want or need.
If it was my Mum (not that she would have ever bought me such a thing without asking me 1st) I would have returned it to her so that she could have the money to spend on something useful.
But I suppose it depends on how you see gifts and things generally.

tiptops "99% are formatted very differently to normal registration plates"

Changing positioning of letters and numbers is an offence and will get you a spot fine should any passing traffic policeman spot you.
Aside from that plates have to be made up legally by registered suppliers so a plate which is miss spaced or wrongly formatted is harder to obtain anyway.

charlie I was not at all referring to the spacing/ fonts of the plates I was talking about the format itself. If I say L = letter, N = number then a standard plate is typically LLNN LLL for newer models and LNNN LLL for older cars whereas personalised regs tend to be obvious to spot LN LLL, LNN LLL, N LLL.

Now if we're talking about spacing my personalised reg is LN LLL and for years I had no spacing between the 2nd and 3rd characters. This is of course illegal but after 4-5 years, thousands of miles and passing hundreds of policemen all over the country I was never once pulled over or questioned about it. I was even once pulled over by the police for a silly driving error and they didn't bat an eyelid at my plate. So IME unless a plate is obviously hard to read they tend to turn a blind eye.

I would put it on. mosy of the time you will not even be able to see the plates anyway. You cannot put a private plate on that makes your car appear younger so you would always be in a position where the private plate made it appear older but this has no bearing on its value.

Whack it on the car shrugs

I haven't even got a clue what my number plate is (or for that matter, how old the car is!)

Is it really worth upsetting your mum if it's given her great pleasure to get it for you? (because it will 'age' your car? Really who cares?)

Tiptops you have been lucky. DH also drives over 40 thousand miles a year. It took them 6 months before he was pulled and when they did pull him it was in our street

In Manchester a few weeks later after he had corrected it he was pulled yet again, this time because he had white caps on the screws of the rear plate. It made no difference to the plate whatsoever and was just a cosmetic thing because he'd run out of yellow screws. He was told to correct them with immediate effect or he'd be fined.

Forces have crackdowns on plates. They aren't turning a blind eye. You've just been very very lucky so far.

I've never been pulled by the police about my plates and neither has DH, we've had them 10 yrs.

The only time we put the 'proper' plates on is one day every year when the cars go in for their MOT.

I think that once it is assigned to your car then as the owner when you notify your insurers of number plate change you get charged an admin fee.

If you keep it and don't put it on car I think there is a yearly fee to pay to keep it.

My dad bought one for me. I like them though so more than happy to have it on my car, although it isn't exactly what I would have chosen. It will have cost your mother at least £250.

I think YABU and a little ungrateful. It's a very generous gift and who cares what plate is on your car? Anyone in the know will be able to tell it's a private plate so there is no issue about it making your car older. It is highly unlikely she would be able to get a refund on it now, it's different to something bought from the High Street. As others have said, if you don't use it or pay the fee every year then the plate is lost, along with all your mother's cash. Simple choice I feel!

I have one dh bought it. I don't care either way but it is bloody useful when you need to put your no plate in at hotels / car parks for those with a shit memory. Silver lining?

Or just be a grown up and politely lovingly decline.