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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS (10) approached by a stranger

36 replies

OrthodonticUrticaria · 27/08/2013 22:40

Ds is 10. he's JUST told me tonight that the other day he was on the street with his friend when a woman walked up to them and asked if they would like to walk her dog for a fiver.
DS said "No thanks", didn't engage and walked off quickly.
And that was that.

But I'm wondering if I should call 101 and report it?
I've just emailed the other boy's mother, and in writing ti down it just seems more and more wrong.

The fact that she was walking, (ie no disability, so why not able to walk her own dog) the fact that she didn't have a dog with her - so were they meant to follow her to her house to collect the dog?

And the fact that we live in an age where I, for one, would hesitate before talking to an unaccompanied strange child, even if I thought they were upset or needed help because I wouldn't wan them to get the wrong impression, IYSWIM?

So how desperate does someone need to be to have their dog walked to ask a 10 and 8 year old?
Why wouldn't you ask neighbours or friends and and family if they knew someone who could help?

The more I htink of it, the more i think it's badly wrong, but as nothing actually HAPPENED, is it worth reporting?
Plus DS has had 100 questions fired at him and all I've managed to glean is that she was wearing trousers, was over 40 and probably smoked as she had lots of wrinkles.

I think I've already talked myself into making the call, but MNers, WWYD?

OP posts:
Kiriwawa · 27/08/2013 22:43

What exactly would you be reporting her for? Confused

ImperialBlether · 27/08/2013 22:43

I'd call, too. It's highly inappropriate, particularly as she didn't have a dog there!

God, I really hate thinking of women being involved in anything bad to do with children. Who the hell can a child trust?

frogwatcher42 · 27/08/2013 22:43

I would ignore it. I can think of plenty of over 40 year old lazy gits who would ask two healthy looking children to walk their dogs for a fiver.

Had they said yes she would probably have said 'go check with your mum then and then come and see me at x street'.

Maybe I am naive.

WorraLiberty · 27/08/2013 22:44

It's a bit odd but I don't think it's a Police matter...especially since you have no info to give them.

Your 10yr old thinks wrinkled people probably smoke?

It's quite likely he has the age wrong too

frogwatcher42 · 27/08/2013 22:44

And I second the what on the earth would you report her for? Talking to kids? Asking a kid to do a job?

frogwatcher42 · 27/08/2013 22:46

I dog walked at 10. In fact I would do any job asked of me by anybody at that age.

But that was another era!!!

picnicbasketcase · 27/08/2013 22:47

He did exactly the right thing, I really don't think there's anything to report.

saintmerryweather · 27/08/2013 22:47

god yeah, report her she must be a peedo if shes talking to kids on the street Hmm

she hasnt actually done anything wrong!

AgentZigzag · 27/08/2013 22:49

It is a bit odd, is he 100% sure he doesn't know her, or even that she doesn't know him/you?

I probably wouldn't ring them, just because nothing happened and your DS showed he's able to deal with it sensibly, but you should do it if it's going to eat away at you and you think it's more sinister than just a neighbour suggesting a simple job for a 10 YO lad.

(but arf at the 40ish YO having ancient 70 YO-like wrinkles)

AintNobodyGotTimeFerThat · 27/08/2013 22:51

Weird indeed.

She sounds like someone a bit loopy.

But I wouldn't report her, just think she was weird/lazy.

But good on your son for saying no, at least you have taught him stranger danger well :)

Original poster
OrthodonticUrticaria · 27/08/2013 22:53

As detailed above, I've given my reasons for thinking I should make the call.
And just....

I'd NEVER ask a strange kid to do a job for me.

I'm not a helicopter parent who sees boogey men on every corner, but this just feels SO wrong. And yes, I do think "what am I reporting? He can't identify her, no crime took place, etc etc" which is why I hesitated and headed on to MN for a bit of clear thinking.

OP posts:
edam · 27/08/2013 22:57

odd. Tell your son you are glad he didn't go off with her to find her dog.

mummymeister · 27/08/2013 22:58

our local neighbourhood PC is brilliant. his view is that if it seems suspicious or odd to you then you should just report it to the police so that they log it. then if they get another call about the same thing in the same area it will ring alarm bells and they will go and investigate. he said too often a crime happens and the next 10 people he speaks too say something like oh yes I did see that person hanging around in my garden or I did see that car at 3 am and it seemed a bit odd but I didn't want to bother you. call it in, get it logged and well done to your DS for telling you.

frogwatcher42 · 27/08/2013 23:00

Would you really never ask a strange kid to do a job. Imagine if you didn't have children, didn't have the knowledge of the intensity to protect that we parents have. Or know that parents these days are very protective (understandably).

Imagine you see the same kids hang around each day - you notice them, they don't notice you. You are busy, old, ill, tired or whatever. You need your dog walked. In your day, kids walked dogs and got paid for it. You ask the kid if they want to do it. In your view it is a win win. They get the money for sweets or whatever, you get your dog walked. You don't know the parents so can't ask them - you only see the kids hanging around. So you go direct to the kids. They look old enough to be sensible.

Ops ds said no so that was that. Had he said yes, the woman probably would have said 'check with your parents' and come back.

Surely that is feasible - more likely than the woman being a danger to children? Or am I wishful thinking?

AgentZigzag · 27/08/2013 23:00

If you've turned it over in your mind a few times and still feel uneasy, listen to that voice.

Might be something, might not, but the police will have an overall picture of whether there's more to it, if they've heard of similar things happening then you'll be glad you said.

They won't think you're wasting their time and you're mind will rest a bit easier.

Original poster
OrthodonticUrticaria · 27/08/2013 23:10

Thanks, agent , I think I'll do that.

OP posts:
LackingEnergy · 27/08/2013 23:15

Well we were at the beach yesterday and had some of those tickets you can exchange for prizes left. I asked a child and his mum if he would like the ones we had left and his mum practically accused us of trying to steal him away :-/

We had 3dc with us and no desire to add to our group. Just thought it would be nice to offer tickets that would otherwise go in the bin to someone who might use them.

Gave them to a lovely little girl and her dad in the end. She was thrilled as she then had enough tickets to get what she wanted :)

I wouldn't want an unknown 8 and 10 year old walking my dogs so would be more suspicious of anyone who did. Probably wouldn't phone the police about it though.

MultumInParvo · 27/08/2013 23:20

I'm with frog on this.

Original poster
OrthodonticUrticaria · 27/08/2013 23:56

lacking I've done that before, with things I don't need, eg tickets in arcades, or if I buy a box of ice lollies from asda, take them to the park and have two left after everyone has had two one each, I will approach an ADULT and offer the remainder. (I've never been accused of trying to steal a child in doing that, I think you were just very unlucky there! :) )

frog it wasn't our street, if you think that makes a difference, this woman will not have seen the boys there regularly at all. And yes, I think you may be wishful thinking about women not being a danger Sad

OP posts:
EBearhug · 28/08/2013 00:00

I think it's odd asking unknown children if they want to walk your dog. And I think you should call 111, not least because you're going to keep worrying about it if not.

Amy106 · 28/08/2013 00:02

Strange behaviour from the lady. Good for your ds not to going with her. He sounds like a sensible lad.

BrianTheMole · 28/08/2013 00:04

Hmm, if you don't feel right about it op then theres no harm in making the call. Part of me thinks well, she could be genuine, and part of me thinks it could be a little bit odd. Its hard to say without being you and living in your neighborhood. So just make the call and put your mind at rest.

Original poster
OrthodonticUrticaria · 28/08/2013 00:08

Thanks, everyone.

OP posts:
PaperSeagull · 28/08/2013 00:11

No, I wouldn't report this woman to the police. It doesn't sound like a sinister interaction at all.

Caff2 · 28/08/2013 00:12

If you think your son was in danger, then report it. But did he really say she was probably a smoker because of her wrinkles? arf

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