Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to just not want to go on drinky nights out anymore?

43 replies

LimitedEditionLady · 27/08/2013 13:11

There has been a night out arranged for a few weeks time but the thing is...I just dont want to go! I just dont look forward to nights sat in a bar drinking when im not thirsty....lol.Its not that I dont like my friends but I would so rather just go for meals but I know they want a drunken evening.I feel like Id upset them if i cancelled at we dont see each other much but i really am not looking forward to it.what should i do?I could go out and not drink but then theyd really think what is she doing?aaargh.i think im getting old...

OP posts:

Itsaboatjack · 27/08/2013 18:35

If you don't want to go out why don't you invite them to your house first for drinks and nibbles, then you can get in your soft drink of choice, or not drink at all if that's what you want. Then book them a taxi to the local night spot where thy can carry on drinking.

LadyMilfordHaven · 27/08/2013 18:36

GO! or go and have tapas first
I bet you will love it when you go

Original poster

LimitedEditionLady · 27/08/2013 18:59

Tee2072 yeah...because i dont want to disappoint them.You dont know me you are just looking to spark a confrontation. So im not going to react to you.At least silverten is showing me what im feeling probably isnt right and im worrying so ill take that advice,thanks very much.I think I worry too much but it just because Im thinking of them too.

OP posts:

Original poster

LimitedEditionLady · 27/08/2013 19:01

Thanks ladymilford think i needed that GO lol

OP posts:

QueenBach · 27/08/2013 19:05

I find it so sad that people look down their nose at people who go out to bars and drink and how they think they are better than them.

If I were you I would just go, you don't have to drink a stupid amount and you don't have to stay out all night.

But if you hardly ever seen them and already agreed to go and then cancel then I think they will be hurt and you'll soon find that they just won't bother asking you out anymore.

Who knows you might even have fun.

Original poster

LimitedEditionLady · 27/08/2013 19:06

Thanks backforgood yeah i misread what she said so i said im sorry i thought it was rude.Yeah im going to say im not up for a big night.I hope people can understand why I was worrying x

OP posts:

lalachu · 27/08/2013 19:07

I feel the same about nights out. I no longer see the point in going out & getting plastered. Glad I'm not the only one.

Maybe tell them in advance that you won't be making a night of it & if they want to relocate the occasion to a venue closer to where they live, based on that, you would think that to be a good idea.

Original poster

LimitedEditionLady · 27/08/2013 19:08

By no means do I think im better than them,four yeats ago I did the same! The joys of responsibility and children x

OP posts:

Fivemoreminutesmummy · 27/08/2013 19:14

I'm the same- cannot be bothered with paying loads to sit in a bar, shouting to be heard while we all get wasted. I know that sounds lame but I just don't enjoy it.
Make a joke about how old you're getting, can't handle it etc. but don't just cancel as they'll think you're being awkward or selfish and may not understand why.
If I were you, I'd go for a bit, try to enjoy if bit leave when you can't hack it anymore. Also if you like these friends make sure you suggest other things; dinner, cinema, quiet pub so they know you do care and want to be friends.

Fivemoreminutesmummy · 27/08/2013 19:15

Sorry that should say- try to enjoy it but leave . .

QueenBach · 27/08/2013 19:17

By no means do I think im better than them,four yeats ago I did the same! The joys of responsibility and children

I meant that as a general thing.

But your comment actually seems like you do a little. These people who you call your friends have responsibilities too, even if they happen to be childless.

I don't know why people see two extremes - you go out getting wasted or you have children. When really it isn't like that.

DrCoconut · 27/08/2013 19:19

MrsMc. A couple of years ago I went on a conference with work. The others couldn't wait to get out on the piss. I went and had a couple then spent the rest of the evening in my room with a cup of tea and a film on tv. I sound like such an old fart but I had a great time and best of all no hangover. They looked like death at breakfast.

Original poster

LimitedEditionLady · 27/08/2013 19:36

My comment is a general thing too,due to responsibilties i stopped being able to do this.Im well aware of others responsibilities,I cant do this due to personal situation at home which I dont wish to discuss.Im not going into a big chat were people tell me I think im better than people because I dont get wasted because its not true at all. Im well aware what my friends responsibilities are and they differ to mine.

OP posts:

noddyholder · 27/08/2013 19:48

Just go You will be glad you did.

silverten · 27/08/2013 20:29

I find it so sad that people look down their nose at people who go out to bars and drink and how they think they are better than them

I'm struggling to see anywhere on this thread where people are 'looking down their noses' or 'thinking they are better'. Lots of 'I used to do this but CBA any more' and 'just doesn't float my boat, I prefer this instead' but no casting aspersions on people who do go out on the lash.

(Possibly that comment says a little more about how you feel about drinking than about how others here feel about it, QueenBach?)

FWIW OP I'd make it clear to your friends beforehand that you'll probably leave earlier than them. (If it makes it easier you could always invent some plausibly vague reason why you have to get up reasonably early the following day. MIL coming round for lunch, children needing taking swimming or something.) Then you can relax and enjoy yourself knowing that they won't be surprised when you're ready to call it a night, whenever that is.

vincettenoir · 27/08/2013 21:42

I disagree with the posters saying that they aren't real friends and find some new friends. It sounds pretty nice of them to travel so far for a night out so they can hang out somewhere that is convenient for you. Good friends are hard to come by. If It were my friends I would stay out and make the effort. You might even have a good night.

But I guess I'm coming from a different perspective as I love hanging out with my mates and they come pretty high in my priorities.

Original poster

LimitedEditionLady · 27/08/2013 22:01

Its not that they arent high in my priorities,or why else would i be worrying about it?Im not going to continue answering any random comments that my friends arent high in my responsibilities,that apparently i look down on people who get drunk (my oh is drunk now?) or any other things people cinnect from nowhere.If you want a thread on thay,go make one.

OP posts:

Mia4 · 27/08/2013 22:21

Why don't you do a meal first OP? Then you could take them to the first pub, have a drink -alcoholic or otherwise- and bid farewell. You get your meal and company, they see a fair bit of you and you leave knowing they're somewhere they want to be.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread