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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at my dad for watching music channels while my DC are visiting

18 replies

alohahaha · 27/08/2013 01:34

My DC are 1.5 and 4. My dad is very territorial about the TV. Today we were visiting and the DC were watching Ice Age. He came in and turned it onto a music channel. I don't want them to watch music videos.

I took them to play outside in the garden, and I didn't say anything, but I felt/feel annoyed.

I won't say anything because it's his house and his TV, but AIBU to feel that way?

OP posts:
RussianBlu · 27/08/2013 01:36

No, he could have just left them to watch Ice Age. He could have lived without music for a bit longer surely. Did he not say anything?

Original poster
alohahaha · 27/08/2013 01:42

He didn't say anything, but he does like to be in control of the TV.

OP posts:
RussianBlu · 27/08/2013 01:43

Most odd. Does he visit you?

Original poster
alohahaha · 27/08/2013 01:48

He does occasionally but is clearly uncomfortable and always itching to leave.

He claims to like it when we visit, and invites us over all the time, but when we're around he makes me feel unwelcome. It's very confusing! Thanks for thinking it's odd, sometimes I feel like I am going mad.

OP posts:
squoosh · 27/08/2013 01:52

He sounds socially inept, and rude.

RussianBlu · 27/08/2013 01:54

I was just thinking that if he does visit you should put a programme on that you want to watch and hold the remote constantly! Perhaps you could try and tell him what your thinking?

Original poster
alohahaha · 27/08/2013 01:57

Thanks Squoosh. it's only me and my family he acts like that with, though.

With other people (my siblings, extended family, everyone else) he is helpful, kind and charming.

Sometimes I want to stop visiting but then he gets all offended and pushy and insistent that we spend time with him, and also I don't want my mum to miss out on time with DGC

OP posts:
Original poster
alohahaha · 27/08/2013 02:01

I did try before (on the topic of TV) - he put on "Dances with Wolves" and DC1 was "watching" it with him, and I said (light-heartedly) "Oh, I don't think that's suitable for DC1" (because of the gun fighting and gore) and he yelled at me to "take him out of the room then". This was months ago and I don't want to get yelled at again.

OP posts:
RussianBlu · 28/08/2013 00:34

If he puts the t.v on or just sits and watches it when you are there walk out of the room straight away and don't go back in. Maybe he will get the message eventually. If he invites you round ask him what's on tv that day before you decide if its worth visiting or not!

MrsCakesPremonition · 28/08/2013 00:52

What does your mum think about it? Is he like this with her too?

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/08/2013 00:54

"He claims to like it when we visit, and invites us over all the time, but when we're around he makes me feel unwelcome."

"Sometimes I want to stop visiting but then he gets all offended and pushy and insistent that we spend time with him"

Have you discussed this with him, e.g. actually said anything along the lines of 'but when we visit all you do is watch TV. That's not spending time together.' ??

waltzingmathilda · 28/08/2013 03:58

I think you are all rude. Televisions shouldnt be on in any house when there are visitors, but in the absence of a radio, then unfortunately people do use the music/radio channels on the TV these days.

Your children are there to see grandad not gawp at the box

AdoraBell · 28/08/2013 04:03

He yelled at you in your home? I wouldn't be visiting or inviting him if he was my father.

RussianBlu · 28/08/2013 12:11

I think you are totally missing the point waltzingmathilda. Also, where is it written that t.v can't be on when people are over? I think your post was rude.

LIZS · 28/08/2013 12:13

Who put the tv on for the dc ?

SilverApples · 28/08/2013 12:15

How much space is there?
Enough for your children and you to have a happy visit with your mother and leave your unpleasant, domineering, TV-obsessed father to manage alone?
If he won't listen to you, is capable of adapting his behaviour for other visitors but chooses not to for you and your children, then I'd cut him out of the experience.

Nanny0gg · 28/08/2013 12:17

Also, many music channels (imo) have very unsuitable videos, so I wouldn't be happy about that either.

Can your mum come and visit without him?

5Foot5 · 28/08/2013 13:11

..."Oh, I don't think that's suitable for DC1" (because of the gun fighting and gore) and he yelled at me to "take him out of the room then".

Wow your Dad sounds like a selfish, immature, unpleasant arse. Why are you visiting him at all? You haven't said whether your Mum is around and, if so, what her reaction to this is.

I wouldn't be visiting anyone who thought it was OK to yell at me - with or without my children being there.

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