to expect a little common courtesy?

[DaleyBump]

I'm 26 weeks pregnant. Very obviously so. AIBU to expect people not to light up and smoke around me? For example, over the past two days I've had to ask four people to stop smoking in the bus shelter, even though there are huge red signs up all over the place saying it's illegal. I don't understand why I should be expected to chose between either standing in the rain or sitting in second hand smoke. And I also don't understand why people get so arsey about being asked not to smoke around a pregnant woman. Please tell me if AIBU, because I really can't see it if I am.

I understand that, but even if I wasn't pregnant I still wouldn't think it was unreasonable to ask someone not to smoke in a non smoking area.

Yanbu OP

I smoke I wouldn't light up if you were there already and would probably move if you arrived whilst I was still smoking

Ben5

I'd tell you to fuck off politely if you spoke to me like that.

YANBU.

I spent the last 2 days caring for a post-operative patient with COPD whose life has been made miserable by her smoking habit.
She can't even sit out of bed without getting short of breath!
She STILL smokes and has patches while she's in hospital.
She's just one of many people I've met in this state.

This has made me feel very angry about smoking - it's so unhealthy and the hardest thing to give up.

But if you had said 'AIBU that I tell people off for smoking in a non smoking area' you would probably have had different replies. Your first sentence in the OP concerns people lighting up around you when you are pregnant - that is a different issue.

It never occurred to me that people should not smoke around me when I was pregnant

The smoking ban came in while I was pregnant but before then I still went out to restaurants where people would smoke I would not expect people not too because I am pregnant

I was not aware you could not smoke in bus shelters so YANBU to ask them to put out their cigarette but you just because you are pregnant

No, I'm saying that YWBU to come into a bus shelter and ask/tell someone already smoking there to stop. If it is banned and there are signs, that's a different matter.

In my first paragraph I did state that I would not arrive at a shelter and light up if there was someone there.

It is in Scotland, no idea about England.

Thank you :) you too!

YANBU, that's really selfish of people to smoke around you, if they have notices that is. I agree, that sometime s people don't really notice who is around them.

Slightly ot - but I am chuckling at the 'very obviously so' and the 'sitting there with a huge bump' comments

I'm assuming this is your first op. Unless it's twins or more, 26 weeks is usually a very manageable stage of pregnancy bump-size wise. Give it another 14 weeks (and maybe more). THEN you'll know what a 'huge bump' is

YABU - I dislike smoking, it sets off my migraine. Do I get huffy, puffy about it? No, my little leggies have always managed to allow me to tootle to fresher air..... Even when pregnant!

I have nothing to contribute to the smoking thing, but if you think you have a huge bump and aching back already I feel very sorry for you.

Yabu to expect 'common courtesy', but no harm in asking someone to stop. Likewise they have every right to ignore you.
Obviously, the bus shelter is a different story as it is illegal, but if you were sat on a park bench and someone lit up next to you, you could either ask them to stop, or move yourself.

Like I said, I would never ask someone to stop smoking around me somewhere it was legal. That would be unreasonable.

And FYI, I'm measuring huge and had five growth scans already. I am also suffering with sciatica 24/7. Who are you to say that I'm not struggling?

I dont think you abu at all. you are pregnant, you and your baby deserve not to have someone wafting smoke in an area designated non smoking.

I feel the same when people smoke around newborn DS in non smoking areas. And i'm also a smug gave up when pg non smoker.

Definitely nbu to ask and expect them to move.

I would be like that with my wee one too Fairy. Glad I'm not the only one :)

In England it is illegal to smoke in a bus shelter (or any structure) that has a ceiling and more than 50% of the walls. So if it is one with a back and two sides then youcan't smoke. If it just has a back then you can.

You have every right not to breathe in smoke if you don't want to and if it was illegal to smoke where you were standing or sitting then you where right to ask them to stop, I would have pointed out to them that its illegal though not because I was pregnant and didn't like it. I find ex smokers the worst for moaning about smokers (pregnant or otherwise) I know this because my husband and I are ex smokers and we moan when our parents smoke outside our house and it comes in the window lol

YANBU, tho I would never have said anything if it was me in that situation

And fwiw, I don't think famzilla was suggesting you're not struggling. I think she was merely suggesting you've got a few weeks left yet and so the big bump/achey back is only gonna get worse.
That's how I read it anyway.

And now I've realised I've dredged up a rather old thread

Oops!

Ha - she'll be due the end of this month!

Been illegal to smoke in a bus shelter in England for a while. No one seems to follow it though.