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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to ask what on earth mansplaining is?

86 replies

UneBelleCerise · 26/08/2013 09:36

WHAT IS IT!?!?!

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 26/08/2013 12:55

SoupDragon has it nailed.

Elsiequadrille · 26/08/2013 13:02

I heard it for the first time on the (now deleted) AARSE thread.

Latara · 26/08/2013 13:41

I always thought 'Mansplaining' is where a person explains something to a man in a certain way so that man can understand clearly.

Now I know differently!

Didactylos · 26/08/2013 13:48

its when a man explains something to you in a manner suggesting you are a 7 yr old without any possible practical experience or knowledge in the area concerned, or trying to explain to you something from your own life or past as though you could have no understanding of it unless they interpret it for you.

I think the phrase came from one of this womans essays.
articles.latimes.com/2008/apr/13/opinion/op-solnit13

geekgal · 26/08/2013 13:49

Brilliant link numberlock, ironically I forgot about the invisible woman!

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 26/08/2013 13:56

LookingThroughTheFog, that has happened here to on a thread about unwanted sexual advances. As we know from threads here - women with no experiences to share on this topic are few and far between...Only to be told by a resident mansplainer that we were all being far too sensitive, and that he doesn't know anyone that has ever been sexually assaulted, and that as his mother knew how to fend off unwanted sexual advances, so should we. Oh and something about no relationships beginning at all, and the human race dying out if men stop making unwanted sexual advances to women. Hmm

LookingThroughTheFog · 26/08/2013 14:26

That's made me laugh wryly, Sabrina.

Coming back to the point above with the 'I'd be allowed to say it if I just had a vagina!' comments; is that really true? If a woman had come along and said 'but there is no unwanted sexual attention; you're all being far too uptight!' would that be acceptable then?

I don't think so.

Would it still be mansplaining? Or would it just be jerkish? I have to admit, occasionally I see women doing things that I'd vaguely consider to be mansplaining. Certainly Louise Mensch is springing to mind here, but I can't remember anything specific, so I might have got her confused with any one of a number of others.

In these cases, the sense of the comments tends to be obsequious flattering to men. 'But all these women are clearly wrong! I know completely what you mean, and you're so right! I really do think us girlies should learn to dress modestly, because obviously a man can't be expected to resist! I've never been followed down a dark alleyway ever, which just goes to show...'

sashh · 26/08/2013 14:33

I can't remember the real names or the topic but here's the gist of an example

Woman A and Woman B are discussing woman A's research into subject X.

Man C interrupts and tells woman A he has just read this fantastic book on subject X and she should read it. She says not only has she read it but she actually wrote it.

Man C ignores her and continues to say how fantastic the book is and starts citing particular chapters.

Woman B points out that woman A wrote the book.

Man C still doesn't hear either woman and continues until women A and B eventually get him to hear the words "I/she wrote that book", at which point man C splutters, cannot believe it and wanders off.

Man C was mansplaining to A and B.

Lweji · 26/08/2013 15:07

I always thought 'Mansplaining' is where a person explains something to a man in a certain way so that man can understand clearly.

I would have thought so too.

Although I get the point of the actual meaning.

But I think it could be applicable either way, depending on context.

LondonMan · 26/08/2013 15:27

Can also be used to describe the situation when a woman says she thinks X, and then a bloke tells her what she really thinks is Y. Thank god you were here bloke, or I would never have known what it was I was really thinking

Ha! I've participated in exactly this type of conversation, except the sexes were reversed. Not only did she tell me what I "really thought" (as opposed to what I'd just said) but she proceeded to heap screaming abuse on me for what she said I thought.

(TBH I think she had mental health issues: usually she was lovely, but the most innocuous remark from me could randomly set her off. I think her brain went into some sort of positive feedback loop where a random thought or memory at several removes from my remark would trigger a smidgen of anger, to which the appropriate response was for some reason more anger, and so on. From remark to complete melt-down happened in five seconds, and if you paid attention you could see it coming because all the blood would drain from her face and her features would change.)

Lazyjaney · 26/08/2013 15:39

I've only ever seen it used by MN Feminists, it normally refers to being told something they don't want to hear.

FrigginRexManningDay · 26/08/2013 15:45

Are we having an invasion? Have they ventured beyond FWR?

TiggyD · 26/08/2013 15:48

It does get used as a generic put-down for one half of the population quite a bit IMO.

TiggyD · 26/08/2013 15:53

"Are we having an invasion? Have they ventured beyond FWR?"

You sound like a worried elf.

FrigginRexManningDay · 26/08/2013 15:56

Nope not worried.

TiggyD · 26/08/2013 16:00

Why? Do you have a protective amulet of some kind?

FrigginRexManningDay · 26/08/2013 16:02

Nope but that would be really cool.

LookingThroughTheFog · 26/08/2013 17:21

FWR?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 26/08/2013 17:39

FWR

We needed protective amulets over there at the weekend... but MNHQ sorted it instead with the big red button Wink

LookingThroughTheFog · 26/08/2013 17:42

Ah. Ta.

piratecat · 26/08/2013 17:42

my mother does alot of mansplaining.

BoneyBackJefferson · 26/08/2013 17:46

its the feminist word for a man being patronising to a woman, and also to shut a male out of a thread.

LookingThroughTheFog · 26/08/2013 17:47

I may have found my spiritual home.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 26/08/2013 17:57

Feminists are needed over there, lots have been chased away by the tiresome hairy-handed bridge dwellers.

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