To wish DS would stand up for himself a bit

[grumpalumpgrumped]

DS1 (5) is not an angel by any stretch of the imagination but is not one to hit, kick and be mean to others (apart from his brother). When at parties etc he seems to get hit etc and does not retaliate in any way at all. I am not suggesting he should hit back (despite what DH might think ) but I have tried to teach him to push someone away if they are hurting him and shout say loudly no thank you, stop it etc.

(by the way his lack of hitting etc is not a product of my great parenting, he just is that way, DS2 however is already a different story at 2!)

I have watched carefully to see if he provokes this type of behaviour and doesn't. I am realistic about him, and probably a bit too tough on him.

AIBU to think I have made him a soft target and to wish one day he just stood his ground a bit

I don't think he should push them but shouting is a good idea to draw attention to the situation.

There is more than one way to stand up for yourself

YABU. Some kids are just natually gentle. Please don't fall into some gender bollocks whereby you attempt to make him "act more like a boy" or something. If he were a girl then you'd not be so worried I suspect...but would applaud his gentle nature.

Gentle men are just that...a good thing. He'll grow into one.

InsultingBadger I didn't word it well, meant if they are hitting him etc and he can't walk away, to push them away.

It just so hard to see.

His dad is a gentle man, and if he every does lose his temper he generally cries.

Neo if he was a girl I would also want her to able able to stand up for herself. Just want him to let them know its not on.

You could try something confidence building...my quieter dd has benefited hugely from Rainbows and then Brownies.

Funnily enough just emailed about beavers for him. He is very confident with adults but not so much children.

He has got better and grown in confidence. He appears to be very popular with the older years at his school, but not so much with his year.

Beavers is great because all the activities are so organised there's nno chances for them to turn into little Lords of the Flies!

He's not a soft target, once we get past the playground we don't solve our problems by hitting - basically, he's ahead of the curve.

My DS has a mild communication disorder and isn't very good in this sort of situation at all so we've taught him a checklist:

Say no, go away
Shout no, go away
Move away and do something else
Go and find a teacher/parent/playground buddy.

Maybe that would help?