Aibu to think DP is being an arse?

[biryani]

Not sure if I'm overreacting.

I have a friend, who has 2 dd's who are friends of my dd. I like the friend, and we do a lot together. She's quite hard work, though, and although I'm fond of her, I feel I do enough for her. We have taken one dd on holiday already this year.

At ours the other day, DP announces that we should all go to the seaside (about 2 hours' drive). I agree this is a good idea, until I realise there are 6 of us . I point this out and he says"that's ok, you can drive yourself".

So I get to go only on condition that I drive myself!!

I feel like I'm being treated like the (unpaid) au pair. Aibu to expect better from him?

How else would you all get there though? Is there another solution?

I don't see how taking two cars and you being the second driver so everyone who agreed to go on the trip can go makes you feel like a au pair.

Is this part of a wider issue? You said you feel you do enough for your friend, do you not want her and her dc to come, or can she drive but expects you and your DP to do it?

Im not sure I get it?

Your dp wanted to take your friend and dc but you jad to drive?

Does she not have a car?

How else would you all get there?

surely you would split the passengers so you have some company? presumably there's at least two drivers amongst the three adults.

I don't get it.

I don't understand, was your friend and DD's at your house too? Did DH mean that they would all go in one car together and u drive alone in another car?

You take your friend and have good chat on the way?

Is he suggesting she drives with him and you take your dd with you in the second car?

Sorry, I am lost? Who is the DP and why wouldn't you drive yourself?
Is it your DP going with your friend Totally flummoxed!

I think your DP has said he will go with your DF and her children and you drive down separately - if I am correct in this assumption then YANBU and you have a big problema and it is a wierd one at that.

If that is the scenario that he is suggesting, I would be pissed off.

Does friend with dd's not have a car?

I was initially put out because my Dp offered my services as a driver without actually checking with me first whether I would be happy with it. I would prefer to have gone without the friend but couldn't't say this in front of her. She's unlikely to offer to take her own car, or make any contribution towards the trip. So I feel a bit cornered, I suppose.

I think perhaps he meant well, and my gripe is more with the friend...

Sorry, I am still confused therefore unable to give an opinión

Somerset: yes, he implied 5 in one car and me in other! With the bags, presumably.!

What would seem more reasonable is that you drive down as a family and your friend does the same and meet there?

Not sure why you/your DH should be chauffeuring her and paying double petrol for the trip?! If she drives think your DH should have been suggesting she drive separately, not you!!!

No. The gripe is with your husband.

As she's your friend, he's the one that should be driving on his own.

YABU to be upset with your husband.

YABU to be upset with your friend.

You only have yourself to blame in this scenario.

Speak up for yourself. Tell your friend you are going in your car with your partner and children and if she wants to go too you will meet her there.

If you can't say that to a friend, then she's not really a friend is she.