To think Dp is a complete idiot for stopping me killing flies?

[unlucky83]

We have a fruit fly problem - (not sure if it is something to do with DP not using/fastening the liners for the caddy for the council food collection - wheelie bin had a 1.5 inch layer of rotten food full of maggots about a week ago - washed it out with boiling water whilst dry heaving and now he is making an effort - emptying the caddy often, using double liners etc well fastened)
And I set up a fruit fly trap (vinegar & washing up liquid in a jam jar with holed clingfilm on top ) - it is doing its job (catching lots) and situation seemed to be improving...then today DD2 (6) asked me if I had seen the flies?
There was half a lemon in the fruit bowl in the kitchen - had 5 or 6 fruit flies on it- then realised in that corner they were on the wall, surfaces, cupboard doors etc - well over 100 -maybe 200 - I am so grossed out ...
Then DD2 dropped the real bomb shell - Daddy told her not to tell me - he thought the trap was cruel (he goes mad if I kill bluebottles etc- he traps them/chases them out) - so he put another layer of cling film on top a few days ago so it wouldn't kill anymore flies ...WTF?
He's at work at the moment - but I feel like killing him ...AIBU to think what a f*ing idiot...

He's entitled to his different opinion on fly killing but VVU to involve the children in a 'let's not tell mummy' way. Unfortunately, sometimes pests need to be killed.

I can understand not wanting to kill things.

I am presuming he his dealing with it such a way because he knows you will not agree.But he shouldn't be involving DD2.

It's tricky because I doubt he will change his views.And neither do a necessarily think he needs to.

I think you need to talk and devise non killing strategies for dealing with it. (ie for pests,remove the object(s) that are drawing them - possibly fruit in the fridge or something for a while?)

Tbh I would never leave half a lemon in a fruit bowl - it'd be in the fridge.

I do think he seems to be trying to address the problem by stepping up the caddy hygiene,too.

He is only entitled to place a moratorium on fly killing if he is prepared to spend the time and energy needed to maintain a fly free zone via constant shooing duties.

Apologies if you know this stuff already, but I used to study fruit flies, so I can give you a top tip for a trap that may seem more humane to your DP. Or one that might not even look like a trap if he's being a bit touchy-feely about the whole thing.

The little buggers go mad for red wine (they lay their eggs in rotting fruit, so are attracted to the smell of alcohol and fruit). Pour some nice, fruity red into a wineglass and pop a small plastic/ cardboard funnel in the top to make it hard for them to climb out once they're in. Traps can be secreted on top of cupboards etc where DP is unlikely to look.

Sure, they fall in the booze and drown. But at least they die happy

Alternatively, buy a can of fly knock-down spray, knock 'em out and hoover away the evidence. You need to take care with spray in the kitchen though.

If your DP has serious objections (I dunno, is he a devout Buddhist or something?), bait the traps with apple or grape-juice jelly seasoned with a smear of yeast. Then he can release any flies you trap outside, while apologising to each one individually.

badbride you made me proper belly chuckle thinking about apologising to each fruit fly individually.

VerySmallSqueak

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, mind how you go now, sorry, sorry, sorry, watch out for that spider's web, sorry, sorry, apologies for the inconvenience, frightfully sorry...."

Just as long as he doesn't start offering them bananas as compensation for false imprisonment. That would be silly.

I have to be honest,we don't use fly spray in this house.I hate the stuff.Bloody chemicals.

Even a hornet that came in the other night was caught by DH in a cup a put back outside.

I do think a little bit more effort and a bit more prevention can deal with many things.

Except our elusive mouse,that is.......(but live and let live,eh?)

YANBU!!!

I sympathise about fly spray--I hate it too. I only use it when the risk posed to human health by the insects outweighs the downside of all those nasty chemicals.

You have 2 further options:

1. Get the mouse on the case
2. Bait some jam jars with apple sauce/ banana, add funnels. Task DP with re-wilding the captives

I have left a note out for the mouse.

It reminds me of that song 'I know an old lady who swallowed a fly'....

I can envisage a scene with the mouse eating the fly and the cat eating the mouse.

All very au naturel.

I wouldn't have left the lemon in the fruit bowl either ...
No chemicals here - either a trap or a fly swatter ..
Badbride - no problem - I used to work with fruit flies too (at one point I used to cut their heads off! - when they were dead obviously) and so I know they are not as unhygienic as bluebottles etc - also know the rate at which they can mulitply...hence needing to jump on this now or it will be a real infestation...we used to use ethanol with banana skin traps in the lap I worked in..
Know vinegar works well cos when I started composting a few years ago had the same problem - then DD1 asked me what the black dots on her chips were - they were fruit flies that had gone into the vinegar bottle (through the hole on the top) - now have a bottle with a lid!
Currently have opened and refreshed the vinegar trap and made a new one - have caught about 40 ish so far ...got rid of lemon and if anything it is worse cos now they moving round more looking for somewhere to go ...
Anyway much calmer now - was furious at first - now will approach it more diplomatically than the screaming he would have got if he was here...but I'm afraid he will have to live with the traps for now (he isn't a buddist - not even vegetarian!) and no point wafting them out - they will just come straight back in ...

Oh...um...

It's a bit bloody rich of him to be complaining about you killing fruit flies if he's going to leave half lemons about.

I think a word in his shell like is definitely in order.

I don't kill anything and find it upsetting when others do, I hate flies and wasps as much as the next person but they are beings too and I don't feel it's my place kill them . So I think he sounds very sweet , I have brought my dd up not to kill stuff too maybe he is trying to do the same?

unlucky83 Cool--always nice to meet a fellow former fly-person

Perhaps DP should sit in the kitchen, wearing the half-lemon as a hat? A sort of penitent human fly-trap, if you will.

Loving the idea of the lemon hat - will suggest that when I have a calm and considered chat with him... a walking human fruit fly trap ...would of course have to make him sit outside wearing it ...preferably in full view of passing traffic ...
Was thinking about humane traps - but can't see how that will help in the long run ...
And I think DCs have to learn that you need to kill some things ...pests and disease carriers...
The only things I actively kill are carpet beetles, fleas, clothes moths and flies...oh and threadworms when the Dcs have had them - and ticks when DCs have had those too and I'd do the same with head lice - but so far haven't had that pleasure ...
I'm not a heartless person....honest .... I've stopped using vinegar as a weedkiller -gone back to manual weeding - cos it obviously hurt a worm I caught with it by accident (and I'm worm phobic)

I catch them in a pint glass

Dp and dsd used to be avid fly swatters but I have totally brought them around to my Zen method of catching them.

"And I think DCs have to learn that you need to kill some things ...pests and disease carriers... "

...and intransigent DPs