To really, really want my brother to propose to his girlfriend.

[flummoxedlummox]

I know I am bu as it's his life but my brother moved back to our parents several years ago to help them as they getting old and had health issues. since then one parent has passed and the other is unwell. My brother met a lovely women a while ago and the woman would love to have children with my brother as he would with her (there is limited time realistically if they want to pursue this).

However my brother feels guilty as he wants to continue to care for our surviving parent.

I want him and his lovely girlfriend to move on to the next stage in their relationship. Would it be wrong of me to pressure my brother to give up caring for our parent?

I think you know it'd be wrong to pressure him, but that doesn't mean you can't let him know he wouldn't be judged harshly for doing something for himself for a change.

As a carer he might feel uncomfortable going outside what he thinks other people expect of him/what he expects of himself, but surely he could get married but still feel he's in that supporting role? (I know, easier said than done)

YANBU to want to pressure him (in the nicest possible way) about such a thing though

I wrote the grin automatically, it was supposed to be a smile

Thanks Agent it just bugs me as the remaining parents heath could go down quickly which would resolve matters but if it drags out I can see them losing each other and I would hate them to lose their opportunity at happiness as my brother has always struggled with relationships and there are circumstances with his girlfriend with are sad but I can't reveal for danger of outing me and hurting them.

If the time thing is more important than in other relationships, like if it was a medical reason, that must be really frustrating to see him umm/ahhing when you know he could be happy.

What does the person he cares for think? (if they know the full situation)

What is the alternative for care for your parent?

Hi Terry, we would have either share care between siblings, don'I think this is doable medium/long term but we could work this in the short term. The alternative is residential care which a couple of siblings are dead set against this,

Agent, she's fully conversant, which is part of the problem .

What is stopping him from proposing/marrying and still being carer,if that is what he wants?It's perfectly possible to do both,I don't see what the problem is?

It may well be that your brother doesn't want to propose/marry.In which case,you need to accept he is a grown man who can sort out his own life.

They don't have to be married to have children, you know.

Anyway, mind your own business: your brother's love life is not up to you.

They don't even have to live together to have children.

How would your remaining patent feel about a new grandchild? Could you not say to him how lovely it would be for them to see him happy with a new baby?

Family meeting including brother. Be open and honest I'm sure there will be a way to work this out. As someone said upthread can he not continue to be a carer whilst planning/having a family?