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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That if someone comes to your house with some cakes/scones/biscuits that they leave them if there are only two left at the end

75 replies

nocluemum · 23/08/2013 19:14

And not take the two cakes home at the end of the morning like somebody did at my house this week. Ten people in my house and 2 cakes left at the end and the person took them home..... I would have left them as think that if someone is going to have a load of people at their house the least you can do is leave them a couple of cakes for later. What would you do.....

OP posts:
SlobAtHome · 23/08/2013 21:19

theRedRabbit Perhaps they felt awkward that their hostess had gone upstairs ill and decided to leave you to it :) Plus cake me upset you if you felt sick... Maybe ?

Def weird OP

BinarySolo · 24/08/2013 07:33

Pineapple is a traditional greeting gift for Hawaii apparently so maybe the pram lady was Hawaiian?

If I make cakes for people I definitely expect to leave them behind. Although, at a work do once, where my colleagues were tossers I did take a slice of leftover cake to give to a friend at my pub job which I went to straight after. But it was just one slice!!

MrsKoala · 24/08/2013 08:36

I would never take food home - but booze i have.

I had a group of mates and we would invite each other over. Everyone brought what they were planning to drink and stuck to their own all night. Some loads of these evenings would go on till 6am with dancing and lots of drinking. However, other evenings would be more sedate and end about 1am. So everyone would turn up with enough supplies to see them thru the night, but if the 'night' ended at a reasonable hour you wouldn't leave 5 bottles of wine there, you took them home. I think drink you take to a party to drink yourself is quite separate from a gift for the host. I always take both.

ElaineVintage · 24/08/2013 08:40

Cakes I would leave with the host, booze I would certainly not. Well if it was a few beers maybe, but a bottle of spirit, no way!

Crowler · 24/08/2013 08:41

The planet is brimming over with rude people who have no idea how to behave. Shocking, really.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 24/08/2013 08:42

I'd never take stuff home! Part of being the host is that you get left with a lovely lot of leftovers in the morning! Softens the tidying up!

loopyluna · 24/08/2013 09:03

This happened to me too yesterday. Friend called round with 4 DC (her 2 plus 2 nephews.) I had my 2 DDs plus a neighbour's granddaughter. Friend brought a pack of cakes which she offered to my DC and her 2 nephews then whipped out nutella on bread from her handbag for her 2 DC as they don't like cakes... Hmm

I provided juice and chopped fruit for everyone, including her 2, who scoffed loads!

When she left, she swept up the remaining cakes and took them with her! I wasn't sure if this was cheeky or not (but I would not have dreamt of doing it.) So glad to read this thread and see it's not just me...

raisah · 24/08/2013 09:03

I wenr to dinner once & as we sat down the hosts hovered by, they had already eaten prior to our arrival. We wete served well buy I got this distinct feeling thst they wanted us to eat & leave which is what we did.

MrsKoala · 24/08/2013 09:05

If everyone drinks different stuff tho it's rubbish. I don't drink spirits or ale/beer/cider/red wine (altho i do cook with it). So i hate loads of left over booze i wont touch. I don't think it's rude to turn up with a lovely bottle as a gift, AND a carrier bag of what you drink and then drink it or take home what you don't. I mean 5 bottles of wine is £25/£30 i wouldn't leave that in cash as a gift on top of an actual gift. I suppose it depends on the host and if you know them well enough and they would do the same.

livinginwonderland · 24/08/2013 09:12

I would leave food but take alcohol.

ZacharyQuack · 24/08/2013 09:28

So the lesson here is if someone brings food to your home, you must eat it all before they leave, thus avoiding potential leftover etiquette confusion.

patienceisvirtuous · 24/08/2013 10:18

I always insist my guests take leftover cakes and wine with them to avoid me consuming it all

Lweji · 24/08/2013 10:20

It depends.

Were they large cakes or cupcakes?

Two large cakes I might take back at least half of each, after asking the host.

If cupcakes and it had taken me 3 days to make them, then I' definitely take them back!

QueLinda · 24/08/2013 11:27

Anything I brought for a get together or party whether it be food or alcohol I would leave for the host. Very bad manners to take it home with you!

burberryqueen · 24/08/2013 11:29

very tight behaviour IMO nothing you can do except snigger inside a bit

Facebaffle · 24/08/2013 11:41

I'd leave both food and alcohol.
I have given back bottles of spirits that have only been partially drunk on the basis that they are expensive.

A friend once sent her dc around the next day to collect their unopened bottle of coke that they had left Shock

Madmum24 · 24/08/2013 11:45

Some people have not been fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of etiquette.

This reminds me of the time someone came to my home and brought me a box of chocolates. It was an occasion, perhaps I had had a baby (can't remember) but when I went to the kitchen to bring in the tea her small son came in with box opened and was scoffing them. His Mum then laughed and said "sorry I had to open them as he was pestering me for one". The height of rudeness! I was going to open them and let everyone have one but I would have preferred to wait until I at least came back into the room.

Floggingmolly · 24/08/2013 11:51

Oh God, you don't take alcohol either unless you still do that studenty thing of keeping your own close by you in a carrier bag at all times instead of handing it over to your host like a grown up.
How could anyone go ferreting through the bottles to retrieve the ones they brought without any sense of embarrassment or shame???
Someone mentioned cost; well if you afford to drink it you can afford to leave it behind, there's no logic there.

FastWindow · 24/08/2013 11:52

What annoys me is when people come to your party and have form for bringing horrible wine like liebfraumilch, then drink only the good stuff. For those people I wait on them hand and foot and make sure they get what they brought. evil cackle

Thepowerof3 · 24/08/2013 11:54

A friend of mine came out for the night with us and my DH paid for her to get into the club and we bought her drinks as she was short of funds. She stayed at ours that night and a couple of days later she rang me to ask for a can of coke she left in our fridge

MortifiedAdams · 24/08/2013 11:59

Id leave the cakes even if they were unopened.

I went to a BBQ at a friends and took two bottles of wine which never got opened. She kept texting to ask wheb she could drop them off. I kept saying "just drink them!!" Honestly, some people!

littlewhitebag · 24/08/2013 12:05

It depends where and who i was with. My best friend does not have a sweet tooth so i would take home any cake or biscuits i brought but leave alcohol. At New Year if there has been a load of booze at a party i would check if the host would use what i brought - no point leaving a bottle of gin for people who don't drink it! I wouldn't take home wine though. I would leave that for the host.

bootsycollins · 24/08/2013 12:05

Gawd it's soooooo cringy when people are tight, it's not an attractive character trait, such a turn off. I've taken alcohol home with me at the hosts insistence but It would never enter my head to take cake that I'd baked for my hosts home with me. Either give with good grace or don't bother. You wouldn't buy somebody a toiletry set, watch them open it then announce that you'll take the bubble bath home with you because you know they prefer showers, would you? Hmm

CoffeeOne · 24/08/2013 12:08

I have a friend who does this. Arrives with baked goods and expects lots of praise and thanks, you have one and she takes the whole tin home. Although she's the kind of person who if you borrow £1.03 off her she will expect £1.03 back.

saulaboutme · 24/08/2013 12:11

It's rude to take anything you have brought unless host wants you to take it I think!

Would love opinions in this...

Dh friend comes over, brings 2x wine.
We are drinking vodka which he joins us in.
wine is unopened, when he leaves he asks if he can take a wine...and does....

I thought it was really rude.

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