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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this man way over reacted

26 replies

Thepowerof3 · 23/08/2013 18:16

At the park today an elderly Chinese lady was standing just outside the fence that surrounds the park taking photos, I saw her but didn't think much of it until a man came over and asked her if any of the kids were hers and if not she shouldn't take photos she didn't appear to understand and spoke to him in her language and he told her to piss off and called the police. In the meantime a group of around 15 kids approached I think they looked to be around 11/12 years old a d started hassling her and asking her if she taken any pictures of them. She was confused and upset and walked off so the kids followed her, at this point I warned them to leave her alone and if they continued to hound her I would call the police about that. The kids had rung their parents who started arriving in dribs and drabs and they started hassling the women who had returned because the kids wouldn't let her leave. 2 pcs then showed up and started to speak to her and when she couldn't understand they just spoke louder, one PC even turned around and joked to me that he was going to arrest her, I don't think she saw the funny side. Eventually they just let her go but I was left feeling a bit embarrassed by the total overkill and the impression left on this poor lady

OP posts:
KellyHopter · 23/08/2013 18:20

Bloody hell, that's awful. Poor woman.
What a bunch of of tossesrs.

HildaOgden · 23/08/2013 18:20

Do you think she would have got the same reaction if she was an elderly white British woman?

I think the man had a right to tell a stranger to stop taking photos of his kids,I think it's the others (adolescents and police) who behaved badly,tbh.

BeerTricksPotter · 23/08/2013 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phantomnamechanger · 23/08/2013 18:22

how awful! a group of kids hassling an old lady, regardless of whether she "should" have been taking photos is not nice. sounds like the police did not handle it well either.

RhondaJean · 23/08/2013 18:23

I don't think he had a right to tell her to piss off for not understanding him (in fact I'd call that racist) and calling the police is a massive over reaction.

MrsWolowitz · 23/08/2013 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exexpat · 23/08/2013 18:25

Massive overkill and an obvious case of cultural differences - no one in China/Japan/Korea would see a problem with taking pictures of cute kids playing, the whole take-a-picture-of-a-child-and-you-must-be-a-paedophile thing is mostly a British and US idea, as far as I can tell.

When I've lived and travelled in East Asia, people were constantly taking photos of my DCs (blonde, blue-eyed) - sometimes asking them to pose, sometimes not. Never bothered me unless the DCs got annoyed with the attention.

Poor woman probably has no idea what she is supposed to have done wrong.

thefirstmrsrochester · 23/08/2013 18:33

Poor woman Sad
Awful man, what a terrible attitude. Of course he has the right to prevent his kids being photographed but to tell her to 'piss off' and call the police when the language barrier presented itself? Charming & an excellent example to set Hmm
As for the teenagers....thoughtless sheep.
Gran of one of dd's classmates told me her elderly dad waved out the window of his house to the children going to school each morning. Made his day to get a wave back. However a crown of older children going past to school started yelling 'paedo' etc so stopped waving. Broke the old mans heart.

DanicaJones · 23/08/2013 19:11

God how awful. Poor woman. Those people sound like dimwits. She must have been so bewildered and felt bullied.

maryjemima · 23/08/2013 19:26

My lovely elderly neighbour was taking photos at the beach (NOT specifically of children), and a similar thing happened to him. One teenager sneeringly pointed him out, saying he must be a paedophile, and within moments hordes of youngsters were chasing him down the road. He flagged down a passing police car, and after hearing what the kids had to say, they arrested him! He was questioned at length, his computer and camera taken, and his house searched. Of course nothing was found and he was released, but he was so traumatised, he's now moved away. No sense of proportion, absolutely disgraceful imo.

Floggingmolly · 23/08/2013 19:38

That is truly horrific, maryjemima. What a world Sad

Original poster
Thepowerof3 · 23/08/2013 19:40

I don't know if he'd have done the same if she was white but I'd hazard a guess that he would he was extremely agitated by it. The lady seemed genuinely bewildered and he just kept saying 'you know what you're doing'. That was my immediate thought exeexepat and that's why I wasn't bothered by the photo taking, I just think things have gone too far

OP posts:
DanicaJones · 23/08/2013 19:55

How awful mary. Sad

SauvignonBlanche · 23/08/2013 20:00

Of course he has the right to prevent his kids being photographed
Not in a public place he doesn't.

WeleaseWodger · 23/08/2013 20:18

Not sure why the police came out at it's not illegal to take photos of anyone in a public place.

insummeritrains · 23/08/2013 20:21

I think this would be a very different OP, with very different responses, had the photographer been a man.

exexpat · 23/08/2013 20:23

Yes, I was wondering why the police came out as well, since she wasn't doing anything illegal at all. If anything, their priority should really have been to protect her from a mob of unreasonable people, rather than hassling her even more.

exexpat · 23/08/2013 20:25

And insummeritrains no, my response would have been exactly the same if it had been a man. The people who took pictures of my children in Japan, China etc were men as well as women, and I didn't leap to any conclusions about their motivation.

Original poster
Thepowerof3 · 23/08/2013 20:27

I'd still think the man and the kids were over the top had the photographer been an elderly Chinese man, none of the kids were in the buff. The police took a while to come but it is a village so maybe not so busy

OP posts:
Original poster
Thepowerof3 · 23/08/2013 20:29

I also think they came as it was a situation that could have escalated due to the callers agitation, the were at pains to say that they weren't going to make her delete the photos

OP posts:
NadiaWadia · 23/08/2013 20:36

How horrible. Poor old lady.

Original poster
Thepowerof3 · 24/08/2013 11:52

Yes horrible day for her

OP posts:
springytoffy · 24/08/2013 13:15

that's just too awful! She must have felt she was in a nightmare. Ditto mary's elderly neighbour Sad

appalling Angry

Can you make an 'observation' to the police about the appalling way they handled this? Racism may be a good place to start (eg not that the police spoke to her, but how they spoke to her). I'd want to have/get this out somehow. As you're in a village, perhaps write a piece about it for the local paper?

The world's gone fucking mad.

cory · 24/08/2013 13:21

The funny thing is, British people still take photos of busy streets and beaches and cute native children when they themselves travel abroad to exotic places. It is only our own children who are supposedly sacrosanct.

BlingBang · 24/08/2013 13:36

If it's a village then the kids should be easy to identify and parents informed.