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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel bad for probably infecting all the babies in my mamma group with ds's virus?

7 replies

froken · 22/08/2013 18:24

Where I live you get put in a group with women who had babies in the same month as you, we meet up with the hv every couple of weeks and chat about a topic as a group (weaning/child safety/baby first aid and that sort of thing) We also meet up socially.

On Tuesday it was my turn to make the coffee and cakes, it was lovely weather so we sat outside. That evening I noticed ds was slightly warm. He was 100% ok in himself, no nasty nappies or vomiting or cold symptoms.

I took him to the dr the day after because he had some fairly angry mozzie bites on his leg, the dr looked at him and said he was slightly warm because of the bites and he was fit and healthy (ds sat smiling and giggling at the dr) I asked the dr if I should avoid seeing other babies and ds's elderly great grandparents incase it was something contagious and the dr said no ds was not ill and I couldn't avoid seeing people every time he got bitten and ds is probably slightly allergic to the bites so will often get a raised temp if he gets multiple bites (we live in a country where mozzie bites are a weekly occurance.) The dr talked to me like I was being a silly overly anxious mum, he even said "trust me I have 3 children at home."

That afternoon we had one of these meetings and I went along as the dr had said ds was fine and not even ill never mind contagious, the babies crawled around playing chewing with each other and each other's toys, ds was again 100% well.

yesterday evening and today his temp has been higher, he is still not showing any other signs of illness and the bites have gone right down so I really don't think it is caused by the bites. A friend (in the same group) mentioned her dd had had the 3 day fever illness over the summer (we didn't meet over the summer so ds can't have cought it off her) I consulted dr google and ds's symptoms (fever but well child) sound very like the 3 day fever virus.

I feel so bad that I expossed all those babies to this virus :( I would not have taken a baby with a raised temp to a group unless the dr had specifically said he wasn't ill.

What should I do? we have a facebook group where we chat and arange social events, should I post saying I am so sorry and ds is ill and they should look out for a raised temp in their own baby?

I have lots and lots of anxiety around ds's health especially the possibility of him infecting other children. AIBU to be so worried and feel so bad?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 22/08/2013 18:32

Blimey calm down

I wouldn't do anything and I doubt the other parents would expect you to either.

If their kids get ill then they get ill, it's not your fault. It's not really the Doctor's fault either as these things can be very difficult to diagnose before the symptoms come out fully.

Just concentrate on getting your child better

Kids get ill, it's a fact of life.

NeedlesCuties · 22/08/2013 18:34

Please try to not worry. It's lovely you're so caring, but seriously over the course of mums & tots groups, playgroup, nursery, school etc your child and the others will share all sorts of germs.

You didn't know your DS was ill, so it wasn't like you wilfully exposed the other kids. I'm sure the other mums will understand. Think about how you'd feel if it was another mum who brought their baby - am sure you wouldn't judge them.

I can understand how you feel though! I was a bit worried like that when my 2 DC were babies.

PlotTwist · 22/08/2013 18:39

I come from a large and gregarious family. The amount of times I've had to post a post on facebook or send out a load of texts saying such things as 'dd was fine and dandy yesterday whilst we all together, now she's whanging up for Britain and I think it's noro. I do apologise if yours all come down with it." I've also recieved similar messages. It's just a heads-up and apology. When I get these messages, I tend to shrug with a 'cheers, I'll keep an eye out' attitude.

littlewhitebag · 22/08/2013 18:40

Over the course of your child's life you will pass on illnesses and have them passed on to you. That's life. I really wouldn't worry about it.

LifeofPo · 22/08/2013 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

froken · 22/08/2013 18:53

Thanks for the lovely posts!

It is so hard to know if I should tell them, it could be more than a week before symptoms in their babies could show and if it was me I'd probably just spend that time worrying.

Despite the high temp ds really doesn't seem to be ill, he is still full of energy so the only problem is trying to entertain an 8 month old who is used to going to groups every day in our apartment!

OP posts:
DrDance · 22/08/2013 19:00

Deep breath in and relax Smile

Let's say someone else was in your position, what advice would you offer them? Would you like them/expect them to contact you?

As far as I can see from your post, no-one has diganosed your son with anything apart from Dr Google....and believe me he only ever comes up with the worst scenario's and lies a lot too!

Health anixety is extremely common however if you feel unduly worried have a word with an understanding GP/Health visitor, just to enure it remains within managable/normal (not sure what word to use) levels as it is easy to start letting what would be a worry slide into an obession/fear.

You have done nothing wrong. You are a good caring mum

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