Do you think this behaviour means a toddler hates nursery (or the opposite)?

[jessieagain]

Ds has been at nursery for a couple of months. He is 26 months. He goes there two days a week.

He cries for a couple of seconds but then stops quickly after his keyworker gives him a cuddle and distracts him with an activity. (I always stay around for awhile out of sight after I drop him off so I know he settles quickly).

When i arrive to pick him up he is always busy playing with toys and seems quite content as far as I can tell.

When I pick him up he is always so extremely happy to see me and he gives me a big hug and is happy to wave goodbye to the children and nursery nurses.

He is happy to come home and he plays really happily at home, eats well and goes to bed without a problem.

Now I would like to think that he is so happy when I pick him up because he has had a great day there.

But part of me wonders if he is happy because he is so happy to be out of there, and is so happy to be home instead.

So I was wondering what you thought about this.

(I can't ask him about his day as he has delayed speech)

The fact that he settles so quickly is a great sign. He's pleased to see you in the evenings because he loves you! He sounds like a contented, happy little boy to me.

I did a paper on attachment theory at uni and that sort of behaviour demonstrates a secure attachment to me.

He sounds like a very secure and happy little boy, don't worry

Sounds like he enjoys it. My Dd is really happy to see me at the end of the day as well, but I know she loves nursery because when it's time to go in the morning, she picks up her bag and waits by the front door.

If he didn't like it he wouldn't settle so easily in the mornings.

Agree with Famzilla...it sounds like secure attachment behaviour which is a good thing!

He always cries when I leave, but does stop quickly.

He just seems so very happy to see me when I collect him, that is what makes me wonder. Is that quite common?

If he hated it, he wouldn't settle quickly though would he? He would probably cry a lot more. He does walk in quite happily in the morning and carries his lunch bag.

He is very content when we are home, more so than on the days when he is home with me.

If he didn't appear happy to see you at pick up time then you'd be worrying that there was something else wrong.

You would know about to if your little boy wasn't happy, and it sounds like he's having a lovely little life both at nursery and at home.

Stop worrying and enjoy those moments at pick up time. I look back and miss pre school pick ups, when my little ones always gave me a big hello. Its lovely! Now all I get is 'what's for dinner Mum'?

Thanks for the reassurance, makes me feel better.

Thanks for reminding me about the attachment behaviour, I looked it up to see what it means for toddlers and he does show signs of a secure attachment so that is a relief :)

I would be a lot more concerned if it didn't bother him when you left or returned

So if you turned up and he started crying, or completely ignored you, or ran off to hide behind his co-worker, would you feel better?

In the nicest possible way, he's happy. He's happy at nursery and he's happy to see you. Chill

So - he protests at being separated from you
Settles quickly in a familiar environment with familiar adults
Is content at nursery and engages in activities
Is happy to see you and pleased to go home.

Can't see the worry really. Yes, he'd probably rather be at home with you, but he's happy enough at nursery.