to think he should do more.

[stillbusy84]

So we have 2 primary aged dc and a baby of 10 months.
Dh has a well paid and responsible job which means he does 13 hour days including commute. He is home by 7.30. At latest.
Once home he sorts his food out. Me and dc have already eaten and basically does nothing else. Not even taking mug into kitchen.
Meanwhile i am still on the go with childcare until about 11. Plus dd 10 mths still wakes at night. On occasions i leave dc with dh so i can iron or get a bath but invariably this is curtailed as dd is crying and dh cis unable to soothe her. Yes she is ebf and i get that but if i am ironing say surely dh should swap?
Now he does do garden and diy etc but they are hardly every day jobs. Also vey occasionally loads dishwasher or cooks

Oops dd sent that too soon. Or cooks an evening meal at weekend.
Aibu to think he could do more. If we are not doing family stuff at weekend he is normally at football with older dc (if they want to come) or doing fun stuff he likes if not doing garden. (Garden not a big job even in summer)

Sorry long and ranty.

Hiya. I won't ask if he was like this before kids and why you had them with him if he was .

He should do more. My minimum in a relationship is same free time (DH is currently out with DD but he got to go to the gym for an hour so it evens out).

The absolute minimum in any relationship AFAIAC is that no one should do less than they would do if they didn't have a partner and kids. i.e. take your bloody cup to the kitchen and pick your damn socks up. I cannot abide people it does seem to be mainly men who think that once they acquire a wife and children, they acquire a servant. At least do what you would do for yourself! Anyone who doesn't is not respecting their partner or themselves. Wee on the seat, wipe it, dirty plate, stick it in the dishwasher. Don't make work for the person you say that you love.

I guess before dc we did have a similar set up. Although we did have an arrangement where if one cooked the other washed up. Plus mugs etc always made it to dishwasher. It was also more manageable than as i worked 35 hours per week and he worked nearer 50 so it kind of balanced
Actually i think things have really deteriorated since birth last dd who wasn't planned.

Are you up really late, BTW or in another country (like me)?

At ten months, there should be other things he can do to comfort her except BF.

It sounds like he has just become lazy and expects you to run around after everyone. Do you actually ask? Like, "of course I'll take DD if she's crying, could you finish the ironing while I do?" Or, "are you leaving that cup there for the fucking faeries to pick up, you inconsiderate bugger". In DH's case he had an allergy to taking his stinky workout underwear out of his sweaty shorts before he put them in the laundry. I'll do laundry (he does lots of cleaning) but I'm not picking stinking things out of sweaty things. He was asked nicely once, then told that they would be on his pillow if he didn't sort them.

Up late. Combination of dd waking and me being restless due to tummy problems.
I guesss i have stopped asking directly as we had a big row last time.
I have been proactive re mugs but it has not really changed.
Anyway must try and sleep now..

Thank you.

Night night. I hope you get it sorted.