to be annoyed that OH withheld this information from me?

[TheGirlWithTheFeatherTattoo]

Found out that I got a payrise today so took OH out for a meal and to the cinema. Whilst we were waiting for our meal, he took my phone over the road to the cinema to use the Orange Wednesday ticket.
He came back, gave me my phone and we ate a lovely meal and saw a good film.
On the way back home (quarter past eleven) he says "Don't be angry at me but your Mum text when I was in the cinema about your Grandma - its not too serious - but I didn't want it to ruin your evening so I didn't tell you and hid the text"
Turns out my Grandmas eye problem has got a lot worse and she desperately needs surgery, NHS wait is 3+ weeks so the family are getting the £600 together to send her private tomorrow. My Mum text to tell me and to ask if I could contribute at all (I had text her about payrise earlier).
I immediately sent £200 with the Natwest app and text her to tell me if she needed more.

OH then has a go saying that I shouldn't have sent so much money, hinting that my mum was milking me for cash and doesn't seem understand why I'm cross that he didn't tell me in the first place.

AIBU to want to have known immediately so I could have phoned my Mum? Or just even known!

What a bastard. He withheld information for a short time so you could enjoy yourself. I see nothing remotely controlling or malevolent about this, sorry. He was trying to be nice.

I have more of an issue with your mother finding out that you have come into a bit of money and immediately tapping you for cash, tbh.

High handed of him I think. I'd be pissed off too.

Old lady with eyesight issues?

It's hardly Damascus is it?

Also think it's very unlikely an op could be scheduled "tomorrow" and as others have said, 3 weeks? Does she need her eyesight today so she can guide in a NASA shuttle?

I would feel very uncomfortable about this. It's your information to do with what you choose - it's not for him to edit your life. Or to make a scene about what you choose to do with your own money.

Though I don't quite get the op 'tomorrow' thing - I doubt one can get treatment so quickly.

the whole story sounds a bit weird to me, from both sides.

I think he had the best intentions.

Never been asked for money from the family before so I'm not too concerned about that.
The eye condition my grandma has is degenerative and in the 3 weeks timescale the NHS gave her eyesight would be significantly worse. The treatment can only stop the degeneration, it can't reverse it. She wouldn't go blind but would likely lose her central sight, as a active, arts and crafts lay this would be awful.

I really do not think he is as awful as previous posters have made him out to be. I think he did it with the intention of you enjoying your meal/evening without stressing about the text message. So the msg was sent at, say 7pm, but you only knew about it at 11.15pm. What were you supposed to do at 7pm that you couldn't at 11.15pm? You could transfer the money at any time of day. But why did she only msg you at 7pm to ask for money for this morning?

How did they operation go today OP

I don't really fit in with this modern must-be-connected at all times habit. There wasn't a fire. You didn't need to know immediately. yabu on that.

Fussing over £200 I'm on fence about, it's not clear to me what you might have needed money for instead.

Operation when brilliantly. Already my grandma seems much happier. She said she didn't feel anything at all. I'm so pleased that she's happy that tbh I don't care what OH did yesterday now!