Was I BU to challenge friend on FB who made horribly prejudiced comment and photo posting?

[coffeeandcream]

An acquaintance on FB surreptitiously took a photo of a very overweight lady sitting opposite him across two seats on the morning commute and captioned the photo with "Fat tax for rush hour trains?!"

I commented on his photo and horrid opinion saying "there ought to be a 'dislike' button on FB, there's no need to be so rude".

He posted a reply which he later deleted asking if the lady in his photo was a friend of mine and there was no need for me to "get all high and mighty". Then he posted that he agreed there should be a dislike FB button for photos that we're disgusting ie the lady in the picture.

I was so angry, poor woman minding her own business on her way to work being secretly photographed and humiliated on FB. BTW, I've no idea who the woman was, but I feel that disgusting attitudes like this need to be challenged as silence in the face of this kind of prejudice just condones it in my view.

Just needed to vent. Going to 'unfriend' the bastard

zataya presumably you wouldn't report an assault/racial abuse on the street/mugging/burglary/

Of course I would, but I wouldn't call the police to report that I witnessed someone being called fat and having the piss taken. They would tell me I was wasting their time!

Well I would always encourage kids to tell the truth. I think its wrong to teach them that sometimes its ok to lie. However I guess it depends on the comment. Lets take this situation as an example. For someone to comment "ha ha what a fat bitch" would be totally unacceptable but to agree and write "yes trains should introduce a fat tax" would be fine. My mother is mocked frequently by friends in the same way as I mock their mothers/sisters/kids whatever. I heartily suggest that none of you go to see Frankie Boyle - he's hilarious but I suspect people like you would be frothing at the mouth being offended on other people's behalf.

I'd shame him on every day sexism if I were you.
Arsehole.

this

yanbu to unfriend and report the photo: hes a shallow little shit

1. Whilst there is no presumption of privacy in public places the if the photograph taken is used for harassment, then the person concerned has a case. This could reasonably be termed harassment.
2. AKA You have decidely unpleasant views. My weight varies for a number of reasons, all of them medical and linked to whether or not I"m taking steroids at the time. 3)Your views are invalid as you are unable to construct a clear and coherent sentence, punctuate properly and spell correctly.
3. Bugger off now, there's a dear, your results will have arrived.

Samctimummy - that article is a pile of shit, I've read it before.
Facebook are trying to use emotional manipulation to try and discourage people from reporting.
I have absolutely no doubt that those who moderate Facebook are faced with horrific images on a daily basis, however Facebook is a multi billion dollar company and if they are struggling to deal with their responsibility to moderate content then they need to employ more people or refine their systems and methods.
They have a responsibility to protect their users from distressing images or images which break their guidelines, that's why the report system is in place and should be used to report offensive images.

turtle

It's not a pile of shit, it's true.

And it looks like it's working.
How many rapes do you think Facebook prevent?
I'd say no more than the one mentioned in the article and I think even that's a stretch.

It's a pity you are so thick-skinned really AKAK81 - otherwise you might be able to absorb a little human kindness from others.

I would hope to teach my children that, whilst truth is important, kindness and tolerance are also important. There is no need to "tell the truth" if telling it is merely an excuse for spite or mockery. "I was only tellling the truth" is a phrase often used by whining bullies.

It's manipulative. The facts might be true but the way that they are presented is designed to tug on hearts strings and make people feel guilty for reporting. It's facebooks way of weedling out of their responsibilities.
And what about the suicides which could be prevented by removing bullying and abusive pictures?

Well, AKAK - the the things you have said on this thread are exactly the sort of things that someone judgemental and ignorant would say, so I think we are pretty spot on in thinking you ARE judgemental and ignorant.

FYI - it is not a virtue to speak the truth when doing so benefits no one and causes hurt to someone. The sort of bluntness you are advocating is a very fine line away from bullying - you would be happy if one of your children's 'truth telling' was bullying someone else, would you?

Like I said earlier - I am wasting my time trying to teach decency to someone who has none.

I'm fat. I think it's your attitude that needs fixing AK, I don't give a flying fuck if you featured on some miserable 'too fat to leave the house' show. Believing that the op's friend is an innocent who was merely commenting on commuter pricing makes you look woefully ignorant about human nature.

He was displaying a photo to get his mates to laugh at a fat woman. For you to be so 'oh it doesn't matter, get a grip' makes me think you're more affected by your own weight than you claim. Protests too much etc. either that or you're just one of those folk that pick the opposite point of view to get everyone all riled up. I'm normally a huge fan of people that stand up for their own beliefs and don't run with the crowd, but on this occasion you are effectively saying that you think it's okay to humiliate people in public for their weight. And that makes you a cock, whatever size you are.

No I just really couldn't give a toss about strangers' opinions of me. I'm ambivalent at best. This obsession that people have these days about what people think of them is just idiotic. I really can't be arsed to debate this any more so I'm off.

Don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out.

[MN will be better without this sad, inadequate excuse for a human being emoticon]

Posting an anonymous photo because the person is too cowardly to address somebody or an issue directly has got nothing to do with being 'honest' AK. Rather a poorly thought out example.

You are judgemental and ignorant AK . Nowhere did I say you were of normal weight. In fact you appear to have internalised prejudice as Prissy suggests and clearly unable to read. Your bitterness exudes from every word.

Nor did I assume you are healthy. In fact you are temperamentally and attitudinally very unhealthy. Like I said, I pity your children immensely to have you as their parent.

And I have a cunt yes. A rather lovely one in fact.

Can we please introduce our Talk guidelines

Clearly some of you have forgotten them or need a refresher perhaps?

In response to the OP (not the subsequent frenzy):

Taking and posting a picture of one individual - pretty unpleasant.

The general point of pay for the number of seats that you occupy - entirely reasonable. I say this having once spent a long-haul flight (which was not cheap) sat next to a lady who was so overweight that I was unable to use the movie controls on my side of the armrest because her rolls of fat hung over them. That was a deeply unpleasant experience.

It is a lot worse living within that sort of body 24/7, Penny. And I know that the solution is easy - fewer calories, more exercise - but due to my depression and my abysmal self esteem (due to bullying, hence my reaction to AKAK), I have really struggled to like myself enough to look after my own health, and to find the necessary motivation. If I tell you that I often have to fight to find enough motivation to get up or to brush my teeth, maybe that will help explain why finding the motivation for the huge task of losing so much weight is beyond me much of the time.

I am making small steps - going regularly to the gym, trying to cut down on fat and sugar, but when I have a depressive attack, as I did last weekend, it all goes to pot.

Hi SDTG I know that the solution is very obvious, but much less easy to implement.

My 2p is that willpower is much easier to exert in the supermarket than at home: ie if I buy the chocolate/crisps/nuts I will eat them, it's easier not to go down those aisles in the first place!

I would assume that if AKAK can't see the problem then she must be the one with the problem.

You are right, Penny - and actually that is another good argument for doing the weekly shop online, because there is less temptation.

Yes, sorry Rebecca, I should have said 'that makes you LOOK LIKE a cock'.

Before the summer holidays i was walking along a street holding my 6 year old dd's hand after school and I looked behind me and there was a boy in high school uniform who had obviously been taking a photo of us as he sort of guiltily put down the phone when I looked round. I then carried on walking and looked behind me again and he did the same thing. I am a size 16/18 and had on a long cardigan which covered my bum. I assume he must have been going to post it on some site where people post photos of fat people but i didn't think i could have looked that ridiculous as 16/18 in a long cardi and jeans (rather than if i had been wearing skin tight skimpy clothes) is not that unusual. I was

'photographers are free to use photos taken in public however they wish including for commercial gain'-

Not true. As a photographer you cannot use a picture for commercial gain that has a recognisable face unless the subject has signed a model release.

However, unfortunately you can take candid photos and put them on Facebook and mock the subject as much as you like, but that just makes you an arse-hole.

Doesn't matter if you agree with fat tax or not, a photo of someone taken without their consent did NOT need to be used to make that point.