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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I've seen how children become entitled!

45 replies

youarewinning · 21/08/2013 15:08

Met up with a group today - all mums with their children in a local country park. I knew some people but not others. DS (9) had bought some bats and balls, things to play with etc as had some others.

A girl we didn't know but was with group asked to use his bat and ball. I said yes. She started hitting the ball far. Eventually it went into some bushes and she just shrugged and walked away. When she came back with bat I asked her where ball was. She said it went in bushes. The following conversation occurred.

ME: can you go and get it please it belongs to my DS
GIRL: But its all the way over there
ME: It's DS ball, you borrowed it and need to go and get it
GIRL: but it's in the bushes
ME: Can you reach it?
GIRL: Yes, but I don't want to go all the way over there.
ME: You need to go and get the ball, I'll come with you and help.
GIRL: I don't want to go.
ME: OK, I'll go but you cannot borrow any more of DS stuff if your not going to care for it.

The mother then laid into me - and I mean shouted and screamed - that I shouldn't be making her DD go and get the ball if she didn't want to, and how mean I was to not let her use any more of the stuff as she didn't bring anything to play with as she didn't want her stuff to get broken. My face was just then

We left shortly after!

So WIBU?

OP posts:

lljkk · 21/08/2013 17:55

Oh that's sad, is the other mother normally a volatile character? How strange!!

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2013 17:59

I've read this a couple of times now and I'm still baffled as to why the woman would react like that? I mean actually shouting and screaming?

I just doesn't make sense.

OP, are you sure you were as calm as you appear to be in your OP?

You didn't shout at her child or anything? Not that it gives her a right to react like that.

I'm just grasping at straws really?

BalloonSlayer · 21/08/2013 18:03

Did she really say "she didn't bring anything to play with as she didn't want her stuff to get broken" totally independently, or was that in response to something?

Tuon · 21/08/2013 18:05

"I've read this a couple of times now and I'm still baffled as to why the woman would react like that? I mean actually shouting and screaming?"

You must live in a nicer area than me.

lunar1 · 21/08/2013 18:09

What did you say back?

usualsuspect · 21/08/2013 18:11

It does seem odd that the mother would shout and scream.

I'm as baffled as Worra.

Tee2072 · 21/08/2013 18:15

Where do you people meet these parents?

Tuon · 21/08/2013 18:22

"Where do you people meet these parents?"

Schemes of Scotland, my friend. The first time at Sports Day when you hear a Mother yell "Come on, get it up ya, run ya fucker!" at their child is an eye opener. I could also see her thong over her leggings. I judged.

TeaAndABiscuit · 21/08/2013 18:23

I think I would have asked the mother to go and get it.
I totally believe it as there are so many self entitled people and they have to start somewhere...

Original poster

youarewinning · 21/08/2013 18:31

Sorry I posted and ran - RL suddenly got in the way.

It was odd - trust me! I can see why there are disbelievers I'm not sure I'd have believed it myself unless I'd actually witnessed it. But I've been on MN years and have no need to troll.

The reason I posted was her reaction was so extreme I did wonder if I'd actually been out of order demanding the girl go get the ball - as it was just a ball! I mean the girl acted very imtimidated to her mum and I felt she was 'playing' her but then after no other parent sidled up to me on the quiet and backed me up (not even my friends who were there) I suddenly thought perhaps I was some kind of ogre bitch mum.

Yes, the mum shouted in a high pitched screechy voice and there was a bit in there about me upsetting her daughter etc etc. Cannot actually remember word for word.

I have met many of the laughing and 'oh little monkey' to bad manners, rudeness, bossiness before and many parents who response to my "get the ball from the bush please little x" would have responded "oh little X didn't mean to put it in there, it was an accident"

I did have a text from my friend who arranged the meet up - it was people from her DD's gym group and those people also bought friends. She apologised for not saying something then - apparently this woman has a name in the gym club and heard about the meeting through the grapevine. She said loads of people have text her feeling bad for being silent but everyone is afraid to stand up to this woman - friend included.

I cannot really blame them - she rendered me speechless and unable to respond with her amateur dramatics

OP posts:

ParisianTrialByFire · 22/08/2013 08:51

Oh, we get this entitlement all the time round here, I can totally believe it.

It's ridiculous. She's going to have real trouble when the brat hits her teens.

Catlike · 22/08/2013 09:22

She said loads of people have text her feeling bad for being silent but everyone is afraid to stand up to this woman - friend included.

Oh, so this mum is a queen bee type. That explains a lot! These socially domineering types of women do tend to take umbrage at anyone daring to challenge their childrens' behaviour IMO. And they pass their entitled attitudes on to their DC.

YANBU at all.

tangerinefeathers · 22/08/2013 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buzzardbird · 22/08/2013 09:38

My reaction would have been to stick my fingers in my ears at the screeching...sets my tinnitus off. Would have also made her look a bigger twat.

MrsMook · 22/08/2013 09:53

I can well believe it.

The most vile parenting arrogence I came across was some years ago in a shoe shop. Boy aged 8ish was sat in a chair while mother browsed shoes. Heavily pregnant lady politely asks boy to move- she has shoes to try on. (Her husband is stood nearby with his white stick and buggy with toddler). Boy obligingly moves. Mother storms up and rants at astonished pregnant lady with the "how dare you... You're not his mother... Don't you tell him what to do..." speil with lots of effing and blinding thrown in. It went on for about two or 3 minutes. Everything in the shop just stopped. Everyone was totally dumbfounded. Ranting woman was in such a rage that I doubt I was the only one who feared she might deck someone if they intervened. The poor pregnant lady was in tears. Her husband had no idea what was going on. When she had finished her tirade, ranting woman stormed out of the shop with the boy.
I felt so sorry for the pregnant lady who had done nothing wrong, and the boy who had just had a thorough lesson in never being polite again.

Notfinsburypark · 22/08/2013 09:58

I honestly can't understand why some people get so aggressive.

I had it yesterday for the first time. A woman ranted angrily at my son for going the 'wrong 'way round a piece of playground equipment. She was totally irrational - her daughter maybe between 6 and 8 then kneed my son in the back at the top of a slide. These children learn their awful behaviour from their parents!

raisah · 22/08/2013 12:17

The problem is that all the idiotic parents won't read this thread so will carry on thinking that their behaviour is normal. Everybody who has commented have agreed that her behaviour was atrocious.

fackinell · 22/08/2013 13:44

No, YWNBU. what is wrong with people like this?

I've mentioned this before, I'm sure. Kid around 8 in Italian restaurant, upside down in his chair. Kicks me and smirks, on my way past. Dad immediately looks the other way so I deliberately make a point of mentioning to Dad.
'Excuse me, your son just kicked me and smiled.' Dad looks v uncomfortable and a few moments pass while he half arsedly asks him to apologise. This culminates in a, 'well you won't be having your ice cream.'

Coming back from the loo I notice the kid has a sundae and give Dad a pointed look. He looks away again. People like that are out there. I only hope they get it back bucket-loads in the teenage years.

StudentFuming · 22/08/2013 14:01

God.........what is the matter with people.

If it were me I think i would have given this women a very public lecture about herself and embarrassed her.. if i wasnt in a state of shock having been screamed and shouted at.

I was in a situation the other day when an friends DC was doing something a bit silly, DF suggested that he stopped, he didn't. I chipped in and said ' If you want to do that, please do it over there where it's not going to disturb anyone' he stopped. I had a moment of being really really worried that i had over stepped the mark. This friend is not a close friend.

Luckily it seemed to be o.k.

Should we really be this worried about asserting appropriate behaviour with other peoples DC if needed ...... really??

GrimmaTheNome · 22/08/2013 14:53

I'm put in mind of the old saying 'it takes a village to raise a child'. Its sad that nowadays people tend to be shy of intervening with OPKs - either to tell them when they are out of line, asking them to do something helpful or to help them. These behaviours are part of normal civilised society.

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