To ask what the hell I'm going to say at the Doctors tomorrow?

[VulvaVoom]

Went to the Doctors last week to ask for help with my low mood and returning depression. I recognise the signs, I've been there before but now that I have a young child, I want to get it sorted.

I saw a very nice young GP, she was friendly and helpful but didn't seem keen to give me ADs. Bit of background, I've never wanted them before and took the counselling option previously (provided at the Surgery) didn't help much and the counsellor basically told me to write things down/write letters I wouldn't send, didn't really scratch the surface and wasn't that productive.

Anyway, she told me to think about my options and come back again. Well my appointment is tomorrow and I have no idea what to say. Looks like group counselling is what they offer now (um, no!) but if you really push you might be able to get one to one - but why would I push for that when it wasn't very good before?

I feel like ADs might help me this time, especially as I have to go back to work from Mat leave soon but worried they may not think I need them or shouldn't have them.

I also think I may have played down how I've been feeling, which probably didn't help. I have days where I can be normal and others where I feel anxious, very low and hate myself. The evening of the last appointment, I felt I was losing the plot, it was horrible, crying in front of poor confused looking DD :(

This is garbled, sorry, and more of a WWYD? Private counselling is not an option really (money wise) The thing is as well, I don't really know why I'm feeling like this, so God knows how a counsellor could suss it out.

Can you go and say you have tried counselling before and it didn't work as well as you had hoped so you'd like to try a different route this time with ad's and if they can give you those is there any chance of one to one counselling as it may have changed and be better this time? Don't be afraid to ask for ad's if you want to try them.

You say something along the lines of "I've tried counselling, it really didn't help. I am getting very stressed about the thought of returning to work still feeling this way, and about how work may make me feel even lower.
I was very keen to try the counselling over medication before, but as it didn't really help much I would prefer to try an alternative solution such as antidepressants this time, thank you."

Is there someone you can take with you? One to one counselling + ADs may be the best thing. Good luck.

Just be honest with them about your feelings. Is there more than one counsellor available? There are 2 at our GP, one male and female. Counselling very much depends how you gel with the person I think. I've met 4 over the last few years, 2 very good, 2 really not helpful!

Pills are not always the answer but your GP should be able to discuss that more fully with you and see if they are right for you.

This comes from someone debating whether or not to start anti depressants myself right now! Good luck.

Sometimes counselors and patients don't gel particularly well with each other, or the counselors style doesn't suit you. It might be worth looking into the counselling options being offered to you.

But also, if you want to try the ad's then has your GP actually got any reason to not want to start you on them....there might be actually a really good reason which you should be told about, or she may have no real reason at all, which doesn't seem like a good way to care for you. I would discuss ad pros and cons and whether they are right for you.

Tell the GP you have carefully considered your options and you want ADs. You have a child, you can't risk getting worse.

I left it too long and I was terribly ill. Stand your ground. Good luck.

I thought they were supposed to dish them out like smarties? I'm sure if you say you want to try them, they will oblige....after all only you know how you actually feel.

Could you perhaps say that you found the counselling last time didn't particularly help you but that you feel that perhaps if you had some anti-depressants initially now to help you stabilise your mood, you might then give counselling another go when you're in a stronger frame of mind?

I know that some GPs are reluctant to just dish out meds without trying other ways of dealing with the ISSUES that are causing the NEED for them - and it makes sense I guess. The medication is only going to deal with how you feel BECAUSE of the low mood/depression, but they're not going to address those things, or change them, if you see what I mean?

I went through HELL when I had PND when my twins were about 10 months old and had ADs initially to help me get a 'hand hold' sufficiently to enable me to pull myself out of the mire. I still slip back into very low periods where I go back and ask for a short-term prescription if I can feel myself heading back there again but my GP is extremely understanding and I have a local village surgery where all the GPs know everyone. I know not everywhere is like that.

As to your final paragraph, you might well be surprised. I went to see a counsellor and was walking into the room thinking, "What on earth am I going to say?". I opened my mouth and EVERYTHING just came TUMBLING out (along with a lot of tears!). I don't think she said a word until the end of the session!

However, my first paragraph is really what I came here to suggest. Good luck! You're doing the right thing speaking to medical professionals to get help and I'm sure they will try their best to do just that.

x

VulvaVoom - I can sympathise with you. I have depression.
I think you need to be totally honest with your GP about how low you really do get. Then explain that you have tried counselling in the past, and felt that it didn't help your mood to improve, and whilst you are willing to try one to one counselling again (I couldn't do group counselling either) you feel you would benefit from AD's.
AD's could help to stabalise your mood, and can be affective when used correctly.
But you need to be totally honest with just how low you are before the GP can decide which is the right path for you.

Thank you both.

I think I would like to try one to one counselling alongside the ADs but worried it will be the same person as before, he was a bit disinterested and crap, but I can't remember his name to say I wouldn't want it to be him (and that would seem precious too wouldn't it?)

Worried that ADs may not be the magical solution I want but I guess counselling alongside would help that.

I wouldn't mind the group counselling so much if I wasn't paranoid that what I said in a session would get out (I don't live in the nicest area) who the hell would open up about their deepest sadness's/problems in that situation, feels a bit counterproductive.

Should I be more honest about how I'm feeling too? GP was quite interested in knowing how long I've felt like this, I guess in terms of assessing whether it's PND? I said a month but it's way more than that thinking about it. Am scared that my parenting may be scrutinised (not that I think I'm doing anything wrong but worried a HV might turn up or something)

And thanks so much to subsequent posters.

I'm having a low day today, hate them, DD in bed and still in my PJs. Going to MAKE myself take her out later though

Ah bless her she's just woken up, have to go but check back later.

Having had depression in the past i found some Drs very anti medication and pushing the counselling only option. I had to push for anti d's on top of counselling - on the advice of my counsellor who felt that they were very necessary to stop the spiral down.

I also had to push for higher dose when 6 weeks in it was very obvious that the low dose they like to start on was doing absolutely nothing. Having queried why such a tiny dose (he tripled it when i went back) i got told 'it leaves nowhere to go if we start on higher'. Huh? Severe depression to me indicates try dose appropriate to level of depression, not lowest possible just so there is 'somewhere to go' but i am no Dr i suppose. Counsellor who used to be GP wasnt impressed either, he was one who advised 20mg was really low for severe depression w thoughts of self harm. Best of luck. I know how hard it is to have to battle for what you need when you are already down.

I have no experience with this but do feel you need to be as honest as you feel able. Maybe write down what you have told us and take that along if you feel that is easier than saying it out loud?

Do mention your concerns about the counsellor, it is better to say that and hopefully they will have someone else than to keep quiet and possibly end up with the same one again. If you are worried about him then I can't see you getting the most out of the session IYSWIM

At the end of the day, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that sometimes needs to be treated with medication to sort that imbalance. I was at the GP myself yesterday after an awful couple of weeks spent pretty much in bed and no sleep at all. Insomnia is my biggest symptom when i'm depressed. I'm already on antid's but a low dose which has now been doubled. I know exactly how you feel xx

Don't be afraid to tell the GP exactly how long it's been going on and how you are feeling. They need to know to be able to help you. That's their job after all.

Counselling doesn't work for everyone. I did have some a few years ago and it worked really well and I had a few years with no depression at all but then I lost my Grandad this year and it's all gone horribly wrong again. But I will get over it again. I could prob use counselling again but it isn't provided here and although I could get it with my uni it's 35 miles away and it's a long way to go for counselling sessions lol.

Good luck. xxx

You are perfectly entitled to say you don't want that counsellor again. You only get offered group counselling where I an unless you have a psychiatric need and are deemed to be very high risk. All group sessions are confidential or should be but you can opt for one outside your immediate area if you are concerned. There will be a waiting list and it seems reasonable to ask about ADs in the meantime.

I hope you got the help you need. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

I too hope your GP was able to help and that you were able to come to a decision between you that will help you to start moving on.

Please let us know how you go :)

Hello! Got the ADs and have been on them since going to the docs, thank you all for the advice.

There have been some fairly extreme side effects e.g. huge pupils and nausea but overall, I'm already feeling much, much better.

Went to docs again to see how they were going and said I felt more motivated and apparently that's the first thing that comes back - so I now have a clean(ish) house again

Hope you are doing better now