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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to take in my neighbours' dog?

69 replies

PrincessFiorimonde · 21/08/2013 09:09

DP and I live in a flat with no outside space. It's part of a house that's been converted into 2 flats. The flat downstairs has a garden that we have no access to.

Three times when the downstairs neighbours have been out, their dog has escaped from their garden. The dog has an address tag on its collar, and people have brought it back here.

However, when they've rung the bell downstairs and no one's been in, they've then rung our bell and said 'Is this your dog?' Each time I've said no; it belongs to the flat downstairs - which has a separate entrance/door/doorbell, and indeed a different house number (think 12 and 12A Acacia Avenue).

I won't take the dog in because we have no outside space to put him in and I don't want him in our flat. Last time this happened (yesterday) the people who brought him back said I was horrible for not taking the dog in and effectively leaving him to roam the streets.

I just said we have no outside space and I don't want the dog in our flat. I suggested they take him home with them and leave a note for the neighbours saying where he is.

This earned me a volley of abuse.

AIBU over this?

OP posts:
Sanctimummy · 21/08/2013 09:12

I would have taken it in myself if I had found it, in fact I have done this twice with the same dog. First time he didn't have a collar so I called the dog warden. Second time there was a number to ring on the collar so I rang and they picked him up.

Your suggestion to them was fair.

YANBU.

magimedi · 21/08/2013 09:12

YANBU - your neighbours are.

Nest time just say that you are allergic to dogs.

pianodoodle · 21/08/2013 09:13

No way! Living in the same building doesn't make you any more responsible for the dog as someone in the next street!

Morgause · 21/08/2013 09:13

YANBU

catballou · 21/08/2013 09:17

You're not being unreasonable. Anyone who gave you abuse over that is very unreasonable. I would take the dog in but I am a big dog lover, I certainly don't expect everyone to be exactly the same as me. Your neighbours are being silly-they need to fix their fence-the dog could end up being run over.

mrsjay · 21/08/2013 09:18

YANBU you dont need to take in the dog if you dont want

SilverApples · 21/08/2013 09:19

Three times?
No way would I have the dog in my house, don't you have a local dog warden that could give your neighbours a kick up the arse?

Runningchick123 · 21/08/2013 09:20

YANBU, I wouldn't take in anybodys dog.

DropYourSword · 21/08/2013 09:22

Is it possible for you to access their garden to return the dog? If you were able to return the dog to their garden but didn't then I would think that's unreasonable.

SilverApples · 21/08/2013 09:26

What's the point of putting it back if it just does a runner again?
Op, do you know how it's getting out?

BiscuitDunker · 21/08/2013 09:30

YANBU-not your dog,not your problem and your suggestion that the person who found him take him home with them and leave a note was perfectly reasonable as surely if you had not answered the door they would of done that anyway!

Perhaps have a word with your neighbours and tell them they need to secure the garden and/or tie the dog to a post or something and put him on a long lead when they leave him out there as he constantly escapes and you're sick of people trying to dump him on you when they bring him back.

In the meantime,stick a large note on your front door politely tell anyone trying to return the escaped dog to put it back in the garden downstairs or to take him to their own home and leave a note for your neighbours so they can collect him later as he's nothing to do with you and you don't want to take him. Make up an excuse about being allergic if you need to (and promptly start pretending to scratch/sneeze) or just don't answer the door if you know the dog has escaped so you can avoid having to talk to anyone attempting to dump the dog on you.

DropYourSword · 21/08/2013 10:11

Not many dog lovers on here!

SilverApples · 21/08/2013 10:14

It's not dog dislikers, or those of us that are indifferent to them that abandons a dog in a garden whilst they are out. Confused
How long for? Whilst the owners are at work and the animal is bored and lonely?
Or who fail to secure the garden, putting the animal at risk as it roams the town. Three times so far as the OP knows, maybe more.

LaurieFairyCake · 21/08/2013 10:18

Is there no way to tie the dog to your neighbours door handle?

Just say your allergic. I love dogs and would take it in but you are under no obligation to.

kali110 · 21/08/2013 10:19

I would have taken him in. Id never forgive myself if he got hurt. Think its neighbourly.

BrokenSunglasses · 21/08/2013 10:21

I think it was a bit mean and unneighbourly to refuse to take the dog in from some own who was trying to help.

It wasn't this strangers problem any more than it was your problem, and while I understand you don't want the dog in your flat, it wouldn't really have been that hard for you just to do a nice thing for someone.

In your position I'd find out what happens locally for lost dogs. I once took a dog to the local police station and they dealt with it. Maybe involvement from the police or another agency would convince your neighbours that they need to sort out their garden security.

SilverApples · 21/08/2013 10:26

What are you supposed to do if you find an unidentifiable stray in the road, rather than one with a label?

littlemog · 21/08/2013 10:32

YANBU-not your dog,not your problem

What a bloody horrible self centred and mean attitude this is. Yes - just let it get run over and killed- after all, not my problem. Vile.

Yes YABU. Help the poor thing. Why don't you actually try and DO SOMETHING rather than shutting your door and looking after number one?

I hate selfish attitudes like this. If you can do something good and help to make a difference - why wouldn't you? Alert the neighbours to the fact that this animal is at risk and maybe they will act. If not then you alert the police that the animal is not being properly looked after and kept safe.

I am very glad that I do not have a neighbour like you OP.

ChasedByBees · 21/08/2013 10:36

I'm in the 'not your problem' camp. Why don't the owners actually make their garden secure instead? I wouldn't have a dog in my house - I've never had a dog and I'm not comfortable with them. The dog was with someone who found it, they have as much responsible for the dog as OP does (I.e. very little)

SisterMatic · 21/08/2013 10:42

I would be wary of taking a dog I didn't know into my home, mainly as I have small children that have no real dog experience at the moment.

I have a garden, so I would probably stick it in there, I would make sure it was safe but if I didn't have a garden I am not sure what I would do.

I am a dog lover, but the owners should be more responsible, this isn't a one off. The poor dog could be hit by a car, cause an a accident or come across the wrong sort of person who would not return him to his owner and would use him for baiting.

livinginwonderland · 21/08/2013 10:43

I wouldn't take it in. We live in a tiny flat with no outside space and we have two kittens. Sorry, but the welfare of my pets takes priority over the welfare of other people's who obviously don't care that much if they leave the dog alone all day and it keeps escaping and they haven't done anything about it

SilverApples · 21/08/2013 10:46

Why don't the neighbours care about their own animal?
Why have there been no consequences to the first two incidents of the dog getting out?
Phoning the police seems the best response to such stupidity, and better for the dog.

Original poster
PrincessFiorimonde · 21/08/2013 10:50

DropYourSword, no, I don't have access to their garden. Access is only through their back door.

There must be a gap in the fence at the back of the garden where the dog gets through. I do know that he has also escaped a couple of times when DP and I have not been involved, as I've seen the kids going along the road calling for him.

I must admit I was expecting more replies along the lines of littlemog's. And I do see her point - I wouldn't have posted if I wasn't feeling a bit uncomfortable about it.

I'm relieved that most people think I'm not unreasonable.

But thanks for all replies.

OP posts:
LadyClariceCannockMonty · 21/08/2013 10:51

I'd take in the dog but I don't think YABU for not doing so. But I agree with those who suggest tying it up outside the neighbours' door or something. Better than leaving it to roam the streets and get into trouble/run over.

Longer term, have you spoken or can you speak to the neighbours about it? Would they be concerned and do something to fix it if they learnt that their dog kept escaping?

Original poster
PrincessFiorimonde · 21/08/2013 10:52

I never thought about calling the police!
Though I probably wouldn't, as I wouldn't want to alienate the neighbours.

OP posts: