aibu to think it makes a difference if you hear someone said something behind your back first hand

[fluckered]

I know we all bitch moan gossip even about our best mates at times and am no angel, I do too. BUT does it make a difference when you hear in my case a "friend" ring their husband and go into a rant about me while sitting beside me at my kitchen table not knowing where they were and mobiles being mobiles I could hear her laughing and every word!

She has apologised since but I don't feel I can be myself anymore, am paranoid about what I say or give away too much. Its strained. AIBU?

well then diddl with that line of thinking anything you post can leave you open to any situation but I don't see why I shouldn't post on fb if I am off work sick. It was legit, above board, had notified work and even my lovely supervisor commented.

That's fine, then.

Does this woman even work with you?

In which case she would have known anyway without the FB comment, so it's probably a moot point anyway!

And if she doesn't work with you, then it's not really her business/doesn't affect her & she seems weirdly overinvolved!

no she doesn't work with me at all. but I will not be posting something like that on fb again believe me. first time I ever did and it was thrown back in my face. was having a rant. will stick to just sharing kids photos and liking mundane statuses on fb from now on

Or defriend her on FB?

Oh, & did her husband have his mobile on speaker??!!

she defriended me first then sent me a request after everything was "smoothed over" and I accepted as felt under pressure to keep the peace. no it wasn't on speaker but may as well have been.

I'd find it hard to forgive tbh.

I'm sure some things have been said about me.

I know I've moaned to my husband about friends before.

Never been so desperate that I've phoned asap though & said it loud enough for someone nearby to hear!

The thing for me would be-why is it a laughing matter for her that you are ill?

because she doesn't believe I am. well to be fair I haven't sat her down and told her I am on anti ds for depression and anxiety nearly 5 years, I have psoriatic arthritis only recently diagnosed and sometimes I get a flu like anyone else. I don't take certs lightly as it effects my pay and have often refused them. but obviously without this explanation accompanied with the fact that I DON'T have a limb in a cast or main artery spouting from me neck I am not sick and taking the piss.