to want to scream at the guys at work.

ifonly678 · 2013-08-19T19:30:41+00:00

I work in predominantly male staffed job.. there are 20 of us and 3 females. I am a tomboy. but today at work I felt like I was 1cm tall... was the only female on shift and they completely ignored the fact I existed... any suggestions on what I can do?

MissMuesli · 19/08/2013 20:40

What kind of work do you do? Do you mean they didn't acknowledge you? Refused to follow instructions? Etc. a little context would help us advise

MissMuesli · 19/08/2013 20:41

YANBU btw

Twattybollocks · 19/08/2013 21:01

Yanbu. I was one woman in a team of 8 programmers. Despite the fact that I got on well with them, laughed at the filthy jokes (which were funny and I do have a very dirty mind) they would all go to the pub on a Friday lunch time and leave me in the office to do my own thing. The team leader would stand up, announce that he was off to the pub, ask every single team member bar me if they were coming, and then say "see you later" to me. Fuckers. Every damned week for 2 years. I console myself that he was a complete cocklodger and the rest of the team were spineless gobshites for going along with it. Oh, and I could program the arse off any one of them in my sleep, that helped.

EBearhug · 19/08/2013 23:52

My team would not get away with going out without me at lunch - well, it has happened, but only after they'd asked me and I declined because of some work I had on. I also raise it when I feel I am being ignored and sidelined - not in a stampy foot, "'snot fair!" sort of way, but by suggesting we need to work on some teambuilding and communication.

Original poster

ifonly678 · 20/08/2013 01:07

I work in a fast food "joint" and a manager at that... only one guy outta the lot have spoken to my and thats my senior manager. I laugh and joke with them but it gets me nowhere.. I left the job for 3 months then come back.... they just act as if im not there... becoming a bit of a problem as im there senior when boss ia not at work...

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EBearhug · 20/08/2013 01:32

You need to ask your manager for support on how to get them to engage with you more and listen to you. Do you have team meetings at all?

trinity0097 · 20/08/2013 06:00

Pele are more likely to chat etc with people of the same or lower ranking, but not those that are bosses. I work in a school, and am middle management, I would quite happily sit in the common room and chat with my equals about my latest pedicure etc, but would never dream of chatting about that kind of stuff with the deputy heads or the headmaster, with them it's business first and only other stuff if they enquire.

trinity0097 · 20/08/2013 06:02

Pele are more likely to chat etc with people of the same or lower ranking, but not those that are bosses. I work in a school, and am middle management, I would quite happily sit in the common room and chat with my equals about my latest pedicure etc, but would never dream of chatting about that kind of stuff with the deputy heads or the headmaster, with them it's business first and only other stuff if they enquire.

lottiegarbanzo · 20/08/2013 06:57

Yes could be about not socialising with management - if they behave the same way with male managers. If they are not responding to you in your management role though, you need to talk to your manager to gain support, then pull them up on it, probably individually. They don't get to choose who the managers are or which they listen to.

waltzingmathilda · 20/08/2013 07:12

was the only female on shift and they completely ignored the fact I existed

Or it could be regardless of gender, they don't like you, trust you, want to mix with your grade.

Original poster

ifonly678 · 20/08/2013 21:44

thing is I was a "normal worker" until I got given the chance.we were once a dysfunctional family.. tonight has been better... working the graveyard shift as I type this.... means another late night... but I am on with what we call daddy of the gang and hes made me feel better about working here...

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WorraLiberty · 20/08/2013 21:47

Why do you assume it's your sex and not your personality?

Genuine question btw

Original poster

ifonly678 · 20/08/2013 22:07

alot of the guys I work with are really sexist... and believe women should be at home cooking and cleaning but that is another matter..

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GangstersLoveToDance · 20/08/2013 22:15

Are you sure it's because you're a woman?

There is a girl on my team that I have to constantly encourage the rest of the team to include. Given half a chance they will leave her out of conversations and lunches, but an attempt at good team dynamics means I have to encourage them to invite her.

She is a bitch. An absolute annoying, insulting, snobby and unlikeable bitch. If I wasn't her manager I would do my best never to interact with her. The rest of the team are 90% women and her sex is nothing to do with the reason they ignore her...

Original poster

ifonly678 · 20/08/2013 22:53

im not 100% sure it is because im a woman but it sure does feel that way... have just been speaking to my boss and he has noticed it too.. and apparently because im the only female manager and succeeding at that the other manager who may I add is an arse has been spreading rumours that I have been talking sh!t about them which is all lies and its only because I have been chosen to eventually become a store manager. which has made my day... tomorrow is the test as he is on shift with me and well im his senoir and he better be good a cleaning loos lol..

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GangstersLoveToDance · 20/08/2013 22:55

So the actual reason people won't speak to you is because they think you are a prick that is slagging them all off behind their backs.

For the majority, it is nothing to do with you being a woman. YABU.

seensomuch · 20/08/2013 23:04

i think it your attitude thats the problem,not what sex you are tbh .

Original poster

ifonly678 · 20/08/2013 23:20

what attitude do you think I have???.. I dont talk down to them we are all equals at work.. I never flaunt the fact I am a manager unless its to the other guy who is the arse..... I know what it is like to be an ant at the bottom of the pile as I was that for years and years... I do my job have a laugh... in regards tk cleaning loos for him someone has got to do it other than me.. which I seem to always pick the short straw for that job.....

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