Just over a year ago I got married to my wonderful DP. After a 7 year relationship he proposed and we set a date for nearly 18 months in the future, my parents offered to help us out with paying for our wedding so we thought this was a reasonable timescale to commence the planning and the saving.
So began the countdown to the day - I couldn't wait, wished all the time away and loved planning and preparing. I asked 2 of my female cousins to be part of my bridal party (along with DPs family members and my sis). Her dad - a vicar, my uncle is to marry us.
Neither of the two cousins (aged 23 and 21) could make a trip from Bath to London that summer to meet me and the other bridesmaids and to get involved in the general merriment - commence the start of my wrath. They were too busy/poor (1 a student planning her summer trip to Canada, 1 working part time because she's not the kind to enjoy working full time - they are both very sweet, kindly, homely types).
A couple of months later the elder cousin brings her new bf to London to attend a party and wants to meet up for lunch. They announce their engagement to me then and there - both 23, Christians, no sex before marriage types and had been together about a month. They go on to say they are planning their wedding 4 months before mine. I feel miffed. I am not asked to be a bridesmaid, I feel more miffed. I also know that her parents- who are having to pay for all of their wedding, are really feeling the pressure financially because of the demanding timescale. Her mum doesn't work and her dad is the vicar I mentioned before. I don't understand why the cousin didn't feel bad about this?
The she starts to usurp the ideas I had discussed with my BM I wanted for my wedding, marquee, homemade bunting etc. This is now what she is having. Some of our family members live abroad and probably won't make it to both weddings, hers comes first. I am told the shared ideas are a coincidence.
Her wedding comes along, neither I, nor my immediate family are asked to be in any photos, her grandparents on the other side are openly rude to us because they know we are upset with the timing and other aspects of the wedding (justified or not) and then at about 3pm, all of their close family,including cousins on the other side go off to a restaurant dinner to close the day. We were not invited.
Our day comes along, the evening before, the younger of the cousins says she can't come over at 8am to have her hair done, she will just do it herself, she is tired from travelling from Bath the day before (she has ME). She is no good at hair, never does it or wears makeup. I explain I have paid for their hair to be done and I would really like her to come. She agrees to come, but a bit later on. I open a gift from my bridesmaids, a lovely necklace. It is signed from all the others, not the 2 cousins, they didn't want to contribute.
1 year later, I don't feel the need to go and visit them/their parents regularly as I used to, I still feel midly miffed enough to think about it sometimes.
Apparently they never understod why I might be miffed, the wedding had to take place quickly, they are christians (so I am btw but perhaps not so strict in every sense.... 
) because 'they just wanted to BE together'. Their whole side of the family are very religious people, generally enjoying singing round the piano and baking cakes, so looking in from outside I imagine plenty of people feel they are too nice for me to be miffed at.
So, there you have it, AIBU to still feel miffed, will it ever go away, or AIBU about the whole thing?! Let me have it.... 