Or is my mum?

[Sparklymommy]

Dd1 is 10. She is a dancer. She has asked me about shaving her legs (they are quite hairy but blonde hairs, quite fine).

My mum went mad! Told me she is far to young to be shaving her legs and that you can't notice the hairs. I disagree, and would much rather show her how to do it properly.

I was never shown, or given permission. Would never have asked DM anyway! When DF found out I was doing it without shaving foam he brought me some and told me it was important to use moisturiser. He also taught me about sanitary products. Mums answer was always to read the leaflet in the box!

I want Dd to be able to come to me and not feel that I am preventing her from doing things like this. But DM (who is very close to dd) thinks I am being ridiculous. She says that when she starts secondary (next September) is early enough and that once she starts she will have to do it all the time or they will look worse.

This is your child you are talking about here, not your Mums. Your Mum is free to disagree with choices you make, but she doesn't have the right to try and take away choices that are yours.

Remind her that she had her chance to parent in the way she believes in, and now you are having yours.

FWIW, I think you are entirely right in your attitude to your daughters leg hair, and if I had a dd I would want to enjoy teaching her how to shave her legs when she was ready. Seriously, where is the benefit in having leg hair you don't want for an extra year or two?

What broken sunglasses said.

Besides, it's total nonsense that once she starts she will have to keep going. If she starts shaving and dislikes it, she can stop and the stubble will have softened within a week or two. She may prefer waxing or epilating. You can explore that together. Far better than setting some arbutrary age-limitation.

It's your job as her mother to guide and support your daughter, which you are doing. Your mother is being old-fashioned and silly (sorry!).

I would show her.

dm thought shaving legs was not good idea. So I used df razor without them knowing... the first time I manage to rip an inch long strip off my leg and still have the scar.
I wonder if df ever noticed the bluntness of his razor.

I think you are right. Your mum sounds a wee bit hysterical about it (I can sort of understand where she is coming from but she is over-reacting).

I agree that the most important thing is for your dd to be able to feel she can discuss stuff like this with you frankly and then make her own choices.

For what it's worth my mum was rubbish at stuff like this. Ordered me not to buy make-up until I was old enough to say no and never told me about periods/facts of life etc. She had her reasons for being neurotic about stuff like this but I still resent her for it.

I don't see the problem. She's liable to shave her legs at some point so why does it matter when it starts? Men start shaving their face when they feel they have to. Why should female shaving work off the same principle? And any other matter of personal hygiene or grooming too.