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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse to accept a parcel for next door

91 replies

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 19/08/2013 11:12

so man with HUGE box came to the door with a parcel for next door, was I unreasonable to say 'no I'd rather not, its very large and I actually don't get on with them' he huffed at me and stormed away and I felt bad for approx a minute. saw him leave without it so nicer neighbour on other side must have accepted it. I am horrible aren't I

OP posts:

mrsjay · 19/08/2013 11:34

yanbu I have stopped taking in parcels for a neighbour who is never in and always huffs when i knock on the door to give him his parcel so now I saw no I dont know when i will see him, I have always taken in parcels but this neighbour seems to have an obsession was 2 last week I had to stop YANBU,

cheeseandpineapple · 19/08/2013 11:34

I live overseas so I'm pretty sure we're not neighbours but I would be very nice to you if you were my neighbour and if I thought you'd share your Eccles Cakes with me if I took in your parcels!

No Eccles Cakes where I live!

GhostsInSnow · 19/08/2013 11:34

YANBU

I took a box in once for the people across the road, some type of Parrot food. This was early morning. I then had to go out and was out for the day.
When I took the parcel to them around 6pm they had the audacity to complain that it had taken me so long to bring it over as the parrot was hungry! I apologised, and told them it wouldn't happen again because it would be a cold day in hell before I took anything in for them.

That was about ten years ago and I've told several couriers 'no chance' since.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 19/08/2013 11:36

If I didn't get on with my neighbour for whatever reason, I wouldn't take the parcel in.

Why would I?

ilovesooty · 19/08/2013 11:36

I take it that if your husband would have been prepared to answer the door to hand over a parcel they aren't actually abusive /threatening?

Without knowing the circumstances it's difficult to know whether YABU but if you make reference to being childish it's possible you are.

mrsjay · 19/08/2013 11:37

I remember the thread about the mealworm or was it maggots a poster had taken in for a neighbour and the box burst every where

MadBusLady · 19/08/2013 11:38

Oooh it was maggots! That was horrible. The delivery person assured them the maggots couldn't get out and was lying! I can't remember what happened in the end.

valiumredhead · 19/08/2013 11:39

I don't understand anyone who wouldn't take a parcel in for a neighbour, it's such a basic thing.

mrsjay · 19/08/2013 11:39

neither can i we were telling her to sweep them up and dump them on the neighbours door step i

MadBusLady · 19/08/2013 11:41

So there you go, OP. Maggot Bullet dodged.

FrigginRexManningDay · 19/08/2013 11:41

I got stuck with next doors massive heavy TV blocking my hall for a week when she went away. The second I saw her pull in I went out and told her to come and get it. She sighed and told me she would collect it tomorrow. I was seven months pregnant with a toddler so getting out of my house was such a hassle with my hall being blocked and I fear my hormones tipped me over the edge but I dragged and pushed her telly out my front door and closed it. She wasn't long about collecting it.

mrsjay · 19/08/2013 11:42

I don't understand anyone who wouldn't take a parcel in for a neighbour, it's such a basic thing

cos when you get huge boxes or a guitar like i had one day and the neighbour doesn't even make the effort to come and get it or look annoyed when you knock on the door then it becomes irritating after a while and if they can't be in for numerous deliveries then they really need to make other arrangements, and the op and the neighbours have problems I wouldnt take their parcels in

HeffalumpTheFlump · 19/08/2013 11:43

Yanbu. I did exactly the same the other day. The neighbour the parcel belonged to is a really nasty piece of work who has threatened myself and my partner in the past. I wouldn't put it past him to say we damaged the parcel in some way, and I wouldn't want him knocking on our door to come get it anyway.

Getting the delivery man to understand this when he didnt speak a word of English was a whole other story. He just kept showing us the notes they leave and saying door. Very frustrating.

He then knocked on all the other doors and unsurprisingly none of the other neighbours took it either. If you are a nasty neighbour, you shouldn't expect people to do you favours!

coffeeandcream · 19/08/2013 11:44

YANBU.

Our NDN has loads of parcel deliveries and we used to take some for him. We fell out over car parking one day and his astonishingly aggressive nature and threats to damage our property and hurt our cats meant we never did him the favour again.

One courier who asked us to take a parcel was really understanding about it and said it happens all the time and it was best for us to have said no.

So no OP, you are not being horrible at all.

EffyS · 19/08/2013 11:52

If you don't get on with your neighbors, it would make sense not to take it in IMO.

JohFlow · 19/08/2013 11:55

If you don't really get on with them and they don't really help you out. No probs with that.

shoofly · 19/08/2013 11:56

I once took in 2 huge platters of sandwiches for a neighbour 2 houses down from us. The delivery man was very pleasant and explained they were for after a funeral and that he was supposed to deliver them at a specific time. He'd hung about for half an hour after the time but needed to get back to the shop. He put a note through their door and I said I'd drop them over as soon as I saw anyone. Noone appeared back all day! I put a note through the door, saying sorry for your loss, I have your sarnies. Come get them or ring me and I'll drop them round. Never heard from them. Binned the sandwiches the next morning, and never saw anyone again! Estate agent board up 3 days later and house sold within fortnight! Always thought it was odd!

But no YANBU if you really don't get on with them and the delivery person was an ass.

valiumredhead · 19/08/2013 11:56

I suppose so Mrs jay, I'm lucky,I have fab neighbours, thank goodness

mrsjay · 19/08/2013 11:57

Shoofly that is welrd i wonder where they went

lottieandmia · 19/08/2013 11:58

I would have taken it in - I think you were a bit mean. I often take parcels for next door but then they get lumbered with mine often too

The way I see it, if I have the parcel it is far less likely to go missing. I would hope someone else would do the same for me.

Mimishimi · 19/08/2013 11:59

YANBU, I find the whole idea of leaving parcels with random neighbours, whether you get on or not, quite bizarre and intrusive. So glad we don't have it here in Australia (yet).

cardamomginger · 19/08/2013 12:08

I refused to take a very large parcel for a new neighbour who had just bought the flat downstairs. Our flat is very small, I have a toddler, and I had no idea when the new neighbour would be moving in.

We are due to move towards the end of the year into a house we have been renovating. One of our neighbours is so unreasonable and downright nasty that I will refuse to take parcels on the grounds that if the contents turn out to be damaged I am scared/convinced he will try to blame us and make us pay for it (obviously, if damage occurred because we mistreated a delivery, I would pay for it). He is so unpleasant and 'what's in it for me' that I don't want to leave myself vulnerable to trouble.

I like to be helpful, where I can, but there are limits!

DeWe · 19/08/2013 12:12

I take parcels in for quite a distance around because I'm in during the day. i don't see the issue, either I notice they're in and take it round or they call for it later.

The other day I was asked to take a huge parcel in for people down the road who I don't know. Very heavy too. I couldn't carry it, so when I saw they were in I went over to tell them I had it, but they'd need to wait until dh was back and we'd do it as a three (yes it was that big).
Their ds (teenage) was one big grin because it was his birthday present and he thought they'd missed it. Was worth it to see his smile.

FatPenguin · 19/08/2013 12:14

Yanbu. I wouldn't take delivery for my neighbour as I can't stand the woman, she doesn't stop her dog barking all evening so why should I do her any favours. I hope she never signs for anything for me as I wouldn't want to have to go round and collect off her.

I don't understand why when people order something big/anything that has to be signed for they aren't in? You usually know at least the day it is due to be delivered ..? It's lazy to just assume neighbours will sign for you

Lweji · 19/08/2013 12:21

Personally, I'm not too happy about parcels being left with neighbours and it feels lazy of delivery services.

What if something happens to the parcel? The neighbours could be held responsible.

The receivers should authorise leaving with specific neighbours or arrange to be at home or a set delivery time. Or collect from depot.

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