To not have a sleep 'routine' at 11 months?

11 replies

HopLittleFroggyHopHopHop · 18/08/2013 22:35

DD will usually go to sleep between 8-12, then get up from 7-10, but not really relating to the time she goes to bed, and then have 2-3 naps from 15 mins-2hours during the day, at completely random times. She'll usually breastfeed about once an hour (not long most feeds) so if she's closing her eyes I'll get her to nap, and if not she'll be off playing again.

If I try getting her to sleep before she wants to go she will just roll about/chatter/scream for literally hours and will end up going to sleep the same time she probably would have anyway, and I find it easier not having to fit groups/going out around set nap times go avoid her getting grumpy like lots of friends seem to do.

AIBU/lazy to not get her into a routine, my DM is constantly commenting on how I'm 'letting her rule the house and spoiling her for life' etc but I can't see the problem when its working fine for us both. (And DM has something to say about most parenting choices!)

OP posts:

EST0106 · 18/08/2013 22:42

If it works for you and dd (and dp) then yanbu. Personally it would drive me insane, I love routine and its important for me to be have an idea about what I'm doing for the day, I.e. I will arrange to meet friends at 3 ish because I know that dd naps from 12.30-2.30, or arrange to go out at 7.30pm because I know that she'll be fast asleep and no bother to babysitter. Each to their own though!

FirstStopCafe · 18/08/2013 22:42

I think if it's working for you both then there's no problem. Different things work for different families

Celadorhasacatandawaveequation · 18/08/2013 23:16

YANBU; DH and I are very similar in the way we parent DS. We have routines in the sense of evening feed, bath, change, final feed etc but it's loose with no times attached.

If we put DS to bed before he's ready he stays awake for hours. He naps during the day when he's sleepy.

I go to groups and classes with him and stick to these - I don't plan around his naps as he's sleepy at different times, but if he's tired will make sure he is able to rest wherever we are.

We'll put more structure around it as he gets older, but don't need to at the moment. He's a happy boy, growing well and that's what matters. Do what's right for your fanily.

elQuintoConyo · 18/08/2013 23:26

We have bugger all routine for our 20mo DS. He's happy, we're happy. Do whatever fits you and your dc, tell everyone else to poke off "kindly let me/us decide what is best for lo" + smile.

midori1999 · 18/08/2013 23:29

If you're happy with how things are then YABU.

I have four DC aged 2-17 and one on the way and no real routine. I just find it easier and more relaxed to go with the flow.

LongTailedTit · 19/08/2013 00:47

YANBU and I really don't think you can force a routine on some babies anyway - my DS didn't have a routine until about 10mo, when he started being more regular of his own accord. It wasn't as tight a schedule as most of our friends routines, but it did mean we were a lot more flexible.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 19/08/2013 13:27

YANBU. T's your own business and, so long as it works for you, I can't see a problem. Would drive me mad, but that's neither here nor there!

Princessgenie · 19/08/2013 13:43

It's entirely your call. If it works for you and your child is happy and healthy tell everyone else to butt out.
We have quite a set routine - but her choice really; she's been very rigid and routine since she was born - and she is tired at the same time each day and is ready for bed at the same time so we just go with it. When she changes the times we have a couple of days whilst we get used to it and then we're all settled again.

LimitedEditionLady · 19/08/2013 16:17

We have a routine but it was more directed by ds and now we keep him in that.I like routine as i can plan around him better.Its up to you whether you need one,im happy because i know he wont be tired for nursery and he is settled and we dont have many tantrums as he knows what to expect in his day.

stopgap · 19/08/2013 16:33

We settled on a routine when DS was about 12 months, but the times were entirely directed by what worked best for him. He's still in a lovely routine at two, which means I can plan for free time during his naps, and like another poster above, I can get a babysitter in a few evenings a week, knowing that there will be no hassle as my son will be fast asleep.

Each to their own, though.

Squitten · 19/08/2013 16:40

I never bothered with routines for my two. They were both quite bad sleepers at night and NOTHING could keep them awake when they wanted to nap so had no choice but to go with it really. Once they were down to one nap a day, around 2yrs, they sorted themselves out and it was fine.

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