Meal with neighbours - WWYD?

[Cakebaker35]

Okay sorry not strictly an AIBU but really need to know if I am being mad! My neighbour invited us round for a meal, this Thurs night. Very nice of her, we get on well as neighbours but this is the first time we've been asked around which is really nice. She said could we come on Weds, so I said yes if I can find a babysitter that would be great. She looked surprised and said oh okay but you'll only be next door. I just explained even though we are semi detached neighbours, I wouldn't feel happy about leaving DD alone in the house even if a baby monitor works. She looked surprised but said ok let me know. DD is 21 mo by the way.

So, am I being daft? WWYD?

No you're not being daft. I absolutely wouldn't leave a toddler alone in a house even with a monitor.

let her bring the stuff round to yours and cook it there?

Yanbu

I wouldn't do it.

We used to have BBQs etc with NDNs when the children were very small - but back doors faced each other, so it was like sitting on your own patio.

No, you must do what makes you feel comfortable and relaxed + you feel is safe for your daughter.

I guess people just do things differently and your neighbour would feel comfortable leaving a child of your Dd' age.

No way would I leave my baby in a locked house even if I had a baby monitor. What if there was a fire and smoke alarms didn't work? Or you key wouldn't work in the door - which has happened to me.

No way I'd leave a toddler alone in a house. No way at all.

I don't know.... I've left my ds in a hotel room upstairs while going down to the reception for a wedding. We had a monitor though, and I didn't really feel it was any different to being in a different room in a (very large) house. I'm quite pfb normally and wouldn't have done it if monitor didn't have reception.

The fact they're semi-detached makes me more relaxed about it - if they had been knocked together into one big house presumably you'd feel Ok with that?

Has to be something you are happy with though.

Thank you all, feel a bit less mad now! I'm definitely getting a babysitter, I would never forgive myself if something happened and wouldn't be able to relax while we were there either, so never mind if the neighbour thinks I'm nuts

My neighbour invites us over in the same way and doesn't seem to get that it's different with little kids (hers are 10+, ours are under 5). We end up have to ask her to ours instead cos it's madness to me to pay a fortune to a babysitter so we can sit in the house next door, which isn't really my idea of a great night out anyway. But you're probably less anti-social than me...

Isn't it illegal to leave a child that age unattended in a house? YANBU.

I'd bring a travel cot and pop dd to bed in your neighbours house. Maybe she thought you'd do that rather than get a babysitter?

No way would I leave my 26 month old - but then, I've only just plucked up the courage to shower with her sat downstairs watching the tv...

Would people leave dc in the house to work in the garden etc? Genuinely curious...I wouldn't lock doors etc but if you had the monitor would it be acceptable?

What's the difference to being at the bottom of the garden and next door, you're the other side of the same wall and can respond to a noise on the baby monitor in a fraction more time than if you were downstairs in the house.

Personally I would do it and think people are overeacting on this thread but I also think its your child and you do what you feel comfortable with and not what anyone else wants you to do,

YANBU. Could you put her to bed (in travel cot for example) in neighbour's house then carry her back with you when you go home?

I wouldn't do it, but are you sure your neighbours weren't just surprised as they were expecting you to bring her with you?

I would take the baby next door with a travel cot and then transport home later...