to be desperate to buy a house at 20 weeks pg?

[Swannykazoo]

I've moved to a new job in a new area & am 20 weeks up the duff. DH is going to work from home part of the week, so is still in his flat in the old city and will move later in the year and spend a few days in the week away. I'm in temporary accommodation that's fairly grim and have sold my old flat. We've been house hunting since Jun but there's not much new coming on the market and DH is very very picky. We're also looking in a fairly small area due to communting/work/travel regulations.

I'm desperate to get a house-and we've seen one that's pretty near to what we want. Main problem is DH is determined that we need to hold out for the perfect house (which may not exist) and keeps saying we're in no rush /stuff is over priced / somethings not perfect. I feel like we're in a very very big rush - this life changing event will be happening soon - whether we're ready or not. I'm aware I might have some nesting hormones that are making me a little less rational but really AIBU?

Could you rent a better place until the right place comes along.

I think you need to hold your horses....buying a house is the biggest investment you will make in your life and so make sure it is the right one.

I am in the same boat as you....desperately seeking the perfect house yet being aware that 99% of houses are NOT perfect and we have to get what we can afford. I have had THREE children while renting and guess what...life goes on and it is fine!!! My children love this little rented house and will be a bit sad wjen we leave it to go to our 'own' home.

Your DH is right, I think.

I don't think you are even faintly unreasonable to want to be in a home of your own before the baby is born.

Some people get totally fixated on finding the 'perfect' house ...and they rarely exist!! almost everyone makes a compromise of one kind or another to get a nice home within their budget. Its just about the things you are prepared to compromise on. And he needs to accept that uyour views need to win out at the moment, because you are the person who will be living there with the baby.

He needs to understand that you can make a house into the home you want, if it ticks most of the boxes......and that given that your baby is on the way he is being quite selfish in not being prepared to compromise on a house which apparently offers that for you.
You are the one who will be living there with a baby 24/7 while he is away....and he is unfair to insist that you stay in what you feel is grotty temp accommodation, when you have found a house to be happy with.

IMHO

YANBU to not want to be in grim temporary accommodation with a baby due to arrive in a few months. Buying a house before the baby arrives, if your H is happy to see you struggle difficult to please might not be possible, though. Would him selling up, coming to you, and you renting a better place together until the right house is found be workable?

And houses don't have to be for life!!!
Its pretty normal to move at points in your life.
Just as with previous housing slumps, the current state iof the market will not last forever. At which point you really will have lost out if you haven't bought.
Get on the ladder while you can.

It's totally understandable, but a bit unreasonable / non-sensible. Perhaps you should concentrate on finding a suitable rental. Even if you found the perfect place tomorrow, chances are the sale wouldn't be finalised before baby arrives anyway. All sorts of problems and delays come along during the process. Who needs that stress at 35-40 weeks pg or with a tiny newborn.

Thanks! Annoyingly there's fairly little to rent in the area too but perhaps more will come up. OH doesn't have to sell either, he's just finishing a project for work before the move avoiding living in the grim flat
I keep threatening to get Kirstie Allsop on his case. I'm just really worried we'll be 5 years down the line still waiting for the "perfect" house rather than embracing our new life in a new area.

I think we probably put our offer in on our house when I was 20w pg. I hadn't even seen the house, only DP had To be fair, I had seen a dozen other houses the same size and style on the surrounding streets, so it was only a matter of decoration, and also we were pretty much homeless as our previous rented flat had been sold out from underneath us. The first time I saw it was at 32w pg when we exchanged! It's worked out really well for us, it's a great house.

Moving at 32w is nice. You don't have to do a thing....

What's wrong with the near perfect house?

I don't think anything is wrong with near perfect house mumofweeboys- good layout, great location, not much needs work inside, garden isn't south facing but there is a garden. On the other hand DH thinks the stone work on the chimneys looks a bit worn, and the back of the house is harled (rough plaster stuff) which he's decided is covering up some terrible defect in the stone work. Sigh!
Thurlow - I hadn't thought about not having to humph boxes/tables/sofas but that has cheered me up a bit too.

It's amazing. I just stood there and watched people do everything, and occasionally made them some tea. Knowing the baby was coming really helped me get the new place organised quickly which I've never done when I've move before. Though we'll ignore the fact I had to spend 5 weeks, heavily pregnant, sleeping on an air mattress...

I felt exactly the same at around the same gestation, we moved to nicer rented place, and eventually bought when ds was 5 months old, pleased we waited as I think looking back I was looking at properties with bit too much desperation and emotion. We eventually found a nice house with a big garden in pretty much perfect location as v near train station for dh to walk there for his daily commute!

P.s I don't think you are at all unreasonable wanting to move pre dc arriving, but bear in mind if people further up the chain stall things then you may end up moving with a tiny baby! (people at top of our chain stalled things so much dh ended up living in a hotel for two weeks, I went to stay with my mum.)