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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to have this conversation or are they BU now?

11 replies

SelectAUserName · 18/08/2013 20:49

Apologies if this gets long, I don't want to give away too many identifiables but need to give some context.

I am a department head leading a team. When I took over there was no real career structure for new starters / 'juniors' within the team. I've spent a bit of time on this recently and have devised three clear career paths based on three specific business disciplines, with each having staged training that leads to recognised industry qualifications, plus workplace-based milestones and objectives.

One member of the team - let's call them A - joined me from another department in the company. They declined training in career path 1 altogether, have been non-commital/lukewarm about 2 to date and have voluntarily completed the very first stage of 3. Not unreasonably, this has led me to think that career path 3 is their preferred future direction. Unfortunately this is the path that is least likely to provide promotion opportunities within the immediate team as the people currently performing the role are quite settled and it is a bit of a "dead mens' shoes" situation. This was made clear (not quite in those words!) when I disseminated the information about the newly available training to the team originally but it is still worth offering the opportunity to gain these skills as they would be highly desirable / transferable in other areas of the business and beyond.

A vacancy at the next stage along this career path (so what would be a promotion for most of my team members) has arisen in A's old department. A has specific knowledge of the systems and processes used because of their previous time there. So far as I know, they didn't leave because they hated the job or the team but because they were attracted by the work in my department. The training they have completed would be an advantage for anyone applying for the vacancy.

On Friday I had a private informal chat with A, drawing their attention to the vacancy and essentially asking if they had thought about applying. I pitched it (so I thought) in a 'I don't want to lose you from the team but I can't ignore this would be a great opportunity for you so I'd support any application you made' sort of way. A said they weren't interested, had no intention of applying and that in fact career path 3 wasn't their long-term aim. Fair enough, if a little surprising.

With only a couple of exceptions I try to keep colleagues off my Facebook page and I'm not 'friends' with my team members. However, a mutual friend of A and I - someone who used to work here and who we both keep in touch with via FB - has tonight commented on a status A posted on Friday so it has popped up on my feed. A's post was "Think the boss is trying to get rid of me. Nice to know where you're not wanted".

I am a bit :( about this and disappointed in A. I honestly said, twice, in our conversation that I didn't want to lose them but that I would be remiss as a manager if I didn't consider their development. Am now wondering if I should have said nothing and left it up to A to make themselves aware of the vacancy (we have a jobs page on our corporate website but people don't always think to check it if they're not actively looking) - but am worried that if I hadn't mentioned it, and it turns out they would have been interested but missed the closing date, then that would somehow have ended up being my fault too?

WIBU to raise it? Is A BU to have taken it in the way that they have, or is that a reasonable misunderstanding?

OP posts:
fanjobiscuits · 18/08/2013 20:54

I would raise it but in a correcting a misunderstanding and inviting open conversation kind of way rather than an aggrieved way.

cakebar · 18/08/2013 20:55

You sound like are genuinely interested in helping your staff but I think it was a bit odd to point out a vacancy in another department. It is not unreasonable for her to have made the assumption that you want to get rid of her. She is silly posting on facebook about work stuff.

SelectAUserName · 18/08/2013 20:57

Sorry, I've realised that WIBU usually means Would I Be Unreasonable (...to do something in the future). I meant it as Was I Being Unreasonable (...to have had the informal conversation). I don't intend to mention the FB comment as I wouldn't have known about it if the mutual friend hadn't commented and neither me nor the company are mentioned by name.

OP posts:
SelectAUserName · 18/08/2013 21:03

Thanks cake, I didn't think it was particularly odd as that's how I ended up doing the job I do now - my ex-manager (different department) asked me if I'd thought of applying for it but made it clear he genuinely didn't want to lose me. It wouldn't have occurred to me to go for it without him mentioning it as it was quite a jump so I thought it was a bit beyond me. Even now he (jokingly) complains about me leaving him in the lurch and I tease him back that it's his own fault as I'd never have applied but for him, so I had assumed it's standard practice at this company.

OP posts:
LordEmsworth · 18/08/2013 21:07

You sound like a great boss. I think you did entirely the right thing. Not quite sure what A's problem is to react in that way...

Maybe A just doesn't have ambitions or desires to progress? Some of us are happy just to turn up to work, do the job and go home again.

DTisMYdoctor · 18/08/2013 21:08

I think it's great that you've gone out of your way to develop real opportunities to support your team's career development. It does sound quite rigid though (but I don't know if that's normal in your field). Have you spoken to A to find out what her career aspirations are and what opportunities would help support them? It's hard to comment without knowing industry/field you're in, but sometimes people aren't always thinking about what they need to do to develop their career, sometimes they just enjoy the job they're in and want to do that for a while.

In your shoes, I would talk to A about the fb post and use the opportunity to clarify what you were trying to do, but more importantly find out what she wants from her role/the company.

SelectAUserName · 18/08/2013 21:22

Thanks for the further thoughts. DT it probably isn't quite as rigid as it sounds but I'm trying not to give too much away. None of the 'paths' are compulsory and there's nothing - other than what's reasonable for one person to take on, and the amount in the training budget at any one time - stopping someone doing some training from path 1 and some from path 2, it's just that following any of the individual paths along all the stages will result in becoming a fully-fledged professional. An equivalent example would be becoming a Prince2-qualified project manager. The majority of my team came in as young graduates, it was their first job which they took as a way in and they are actively looking for opportunities to fufil their potential.

Originally A had indicated that career path 1 was what they had always wanted to do, but they have subsequently turned down the offer of doing the first stages of that training. Clearly I need to have another, separate chat about what they want to do, whether that be promotion or not, and how I can support them.

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 18/08/2013 21:26

Personally I think A was a complete doughnut for posting such a status on FB. It always gets back, and companies are known to search interviewees or staff members on the various social networks online. I would approach A about the comment and clarify your position.

From my perspective, YANBU for pointing out the vacancy. My old boss did the same several years ago, stressing the same that she didn't want to lose me. I didn't take it as I was very happy where I was but I did appreciate the look out. I do think a good boss doesn't curtail their staff but tries to help develop them.

SucksAtRelationships · 18/08/2013 21:30

Can you be my boss please? (actually my boss is lovely but you sound equally lovely)

ChasedByBees · 18/08/2013 21:30

You sound like a really good, caring boss. I'd have a word with A about their future goals but also their unprofessional use of FB.

EldritchCleavage · 18/08/2013 22:26

I don't know, I'd probably back off and let A decide what s/he wants to do. There's no helping some people.
YWNBU for pointing out the vacancy at all.

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