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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit miffed at not being ivited to sil's hen night?

9 replies

cazboldy · 18/08/2013 15:18

even though i wouldn't have wanted to go?

Long story.... I am kind of the black sheep of the family (as is my dh for letting me take him away from them Hmm) they are very controlling!!!

Years ago I did not get on with one (now ex sil) who later turned out to be everything I said she was and left bil in a bad way. Both other sil's and this new sil to be all got on with her, and even now the other 3 sil's socialise regularly without inviting me. Doesn't bother me hugely usually, although I do actually get on ok with them all, our (mine and dh's) usual philosophy is just to be polite and get on when we do see each other, but not to live in each other's pockets.

Just can't help feeling a little miffed to just be excluded

OP posts:
leobear · 18/08/2013 15:20

I've already lost track of who's who. Life's to short to worry about not being invited somewhere you wouldn't want to go anyway, IMO.

WorraLiberty · 18/08/2013 15:23

I'm puzzled

If you get on ok with all of them, why don't they socialise with you and why haven't you been invited?

I think the fact you mentioned your ex sil in your OP, proves you know there's hard feelings about that somewhere along the line?

Thumbwitch · 18/08/2013 15:25

Well I expect that she might have invited the ex-SIL along to the hen night, so you wouldn't exactly be comfortable with each other, would you?

As you say you wouldn't have wanted to go, be grateful that you don't have to invent an excuse to avoid it. It's not ideal, and you would obviously prefer to have good relationships with your SILs but as you don't, then just let it go :)

Pawprint · 18/08/2013 15:28

Tbh it doesn't sound like you get on that well - however, it would have been polite to invite you so YANBU.

WhiteandGreen · 18/08/2013 15:37

In the same spirit that you wouldn't have wanted to go, she didn't want you there. Presumably didn't want to risk you accepting.

Original poster
cazboldy · 18/08/2013 15:43

think most of you are right..... I think I feel sad, because I wish I did get on better with them all. I do get on ok with her, but family things with everyone there are such an effort..... I am constantly having to bite my tongue, or something i say ends up being taken the wrong way.... hence why I wouldn't have wanted to go. (and also am knackered and have sciatica a lot in the evenings atm as am currently 32 wks with my 6th dc Smile)

Anyway, I guess life is too short to worry!

OP posts:
VenusRising · 18/08/2013 15:43

Ditto whiteandgreen.

Out of politness, I stupidly asked my SIL whom I didn't get on well with (now xsil) to my hen, and she blardy well came, and sat there in her hoiked judgypants.
It was quite a damper on what would have been a fun night out.: she knew very few people, as she didn't socialise with any of my girlfriends, and huffed and sighed all evening, and didn't make any effort to join in.
(In the end I asked one of my very good friends to soak her up, while we all just ignored her, and had fun!)

Don't feel sad you're excluded, as you didn't want to go!

meganorks · 18/08/2013 15:58

Why would you be pissed off if you wouldn't have wanted to ho anyway?! Just sounds ridiculous to me. If you don't socialise with her/them why would you be invited? I get on with my sil but we aren't close particularly. No intention of inviting her to my hen do. She wouldn't know anyone and I'm sure she wouldn't want to go. Vice versa with hers.

Spottypurse · 18/08/2013 16:00

Why on earth would you be bothered?

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