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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that the adults should apologise?

11 replies

MammaTJ · 17/08/2013 20:48

My DD age 7, 8 next week had an altercation with a child in her year group, L 8 age 9 next month. There are 11 months between them.

L is very much PFB and only. My DD is the third out of 4 DCs I am bringing up. I am very aware that the truth is a fluid thing and not worth falling out with adults about.

I was out for lunch with friends. Came home to DD in floods of tears and DP angrilly waiting for the 'threatened' parents (DD is his PFB).

DD says she has retaliated to Ls hitting and kicking her with a punch to the face. She feels it was the only thing that would stop L from hurting her. Mt DS 54 weeks younger, would rather throw her to the crocs than agree with her, tells the same story! DD says that Ls parents are going to come and tell her off and have a go at her, the same as they did outside. DDs words 'They were right in my face, telling me to leave L alone and that the are coming up to talk to you'

L runs past my house. I go out to try to talk to her and find her coming in my gate.

I asked L why she is here and she says 'to say sorry'. I allow her in and call DD to accept the apology, which she did. L admitted she hit DD first and DD retalitated.

I am asuming Ls parents heard a bit, had a go at DD, then heard the full story later.

Considering they were 'in dds face' threatening to come up here and that was what really upset her, AIBU to think they should be the ones to say sorry to my DD, as well as L

OP posts:
edam · 17/08/2013 20:52

They should, but what people should do and what they actually do can be very different things.

Glad the girl apologised, though.

MrGeresHamster · 17/08/2013 20:53

Yes, totally YANBU.

MammaTJ · 17/08/2013 20:56

I think they sent her to say sorry once they realised the truth.

But they scared her more than L did!! Even though we have told DD time and time again that sticking up for herself is not something that will be punished!!

OP posts:
Sparklymommy · 17/08/2013 20:57

Perhaps they should apologise, but I wouldn't hold your breath tbh. Yanbu to feel the way you do tho x

YellowDinosaur · 17/08/2013 20:58

YANBU.

I'd actually be tempted to go round to theirs with your dd, tell them you don't appreciate them having a go at your dd without knowing the whole story and that they owe her an apology.

MammaTJ · 17/08/2013 21:07

Yellow, that seems to be what will happen as long as the rest of the MN jury agree.

OP posts:
YellowDinosaur · 17/08/2013 21:08

Good luck!

MammaTJ · 17/08/2013 21:11

They are people I have, up till now, been able to talk to! I hope that does not change. My support of DD will never change though!

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 17/08/2013 21:31

Noone else, even disagreeing with me?

OP posts:
MikeOxard · 17/08/2013 21:48

Yanbu, they sounds like total gits and owe your dd an apology.

MammaTJ · 17/08/2013 21:50

I have never known them to be anything other than reasonable. This is a total shock to me!!

OP posts:
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