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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hand my notice in a week after starting my new job

70 replies

jammiedodger79 · 17/08/2013 19:20

Have started a new job which has turned out not to be anything like what I imagined or what was described to me at the interview. The culture there is to work through unpaid breaks, never to leave on time, also unpaid and to basically be highly stressed from the minute I arrive. I have been told im expected to arrive to start early (unpaid of course). I have a young baby and there is no way i can juggle everything not knowing exactly when i'll be home. For some reason I feel terrible about leaving so soon and am nervous and dreading telling them on Monday. It took a couple of months for the paperwork to be sorted and in that time they could have found somebody else. Has anyone else been in this position? AIBU to leave so soon, or am I being a bit pathetic worrying so much, should i just grow a pair and tell them straight? Any advice on how to approach this?

OP posts:
LessMissAbs · 17/08/2013 19:53

The culture there is to work through unpaid breaks, never to leave on time, also unpaid and to basically be highly stressed from the minute I arrive. I have been told im expected to arrive to start early (unpaid of course)

Every job I've ever had was like this! It depends on how much you're paid of course. In the professions, its pretty standard.

I'd have been laughed at as a solicitor if I announced I was going to have unpaid breaks during the middle of the day. Even when I worked in the IT/banking sector, it just wasn't done. The day isn't that long! Pre-breakfast meetings weren't unusual, neither was starting early or finishing late in order to get all work completed if you were busy.

I'd give it a month. You might get used to it. A lot of these jobs like you to prove willing at the start, as clockwatchers tend not to be the hardest workers (sometimes they are but there are also quite a lot of shirkers about). As I say, it depends on how much you are paid.

ILoveMimislabel · 17/08/2013 19:54

Just go if you have another job ! My DP was working somewhere that sounds so familiar ( nurse on a ward) and it was awful she once came home at two o'clock from a long day ( should finish at half nine ) and no one cared. It was so stressful for all of us at home so think about yourself and just Hand your notice in and make sure you tell the matron why. Think about you and your family.

TheDoctrineOfJetlag · 17/08/2013 19:57

Don't feel bad. They wouldn't feel bad if something changed and they had to give you notice.

sorryitsanotherpilone · 17/08/2013 19:58

Hand in your notice as you're probably still hopefully supernumery ask if you can work shortened notice. I left a job after 2 weeks and they let me work 7 days notice as it was pointless teaching me the general day to day running when i wasn't staying.

Do you need a reference or do you already have your other job sorted? If you don't need a reference I'd be tempted to tell a pork pie and say dh has been moved at work and you're all moving at short notice.

Lj8893 · 17/08/2013 19:59

I did one day in a job before. To be fair it was kind of a training on the job day shadowing another carer.

I hadnt done a care work before and by the end of the shift I was dreading the next shift, care work was soooo not for me!

I was honest and just said it wasent for me and that I was going to stay in my current job (thankfully I hadn't yet handed in my notice)

As its only been a week will you have to work a full notice period? Most jobs I have been in there has been a probationary period where either employer or employee doesn't need to give official notice.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 17/08/2013 19:59

YANBU, life's too short to be miserable as sin when they are other options.

ChippingInHopHopHop · 17/08/2013 19:59

It's natural to feel bad if you are a conscientious person, but it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, let alone very stressful. You are well out of there - just leave them to it.

Congratulations on the new job - I hope it works out for you!

BoreOfWhabylon · 17/08/2013 20:00

My advice would be what Hawkmoth has already said.

ChippingInHopHopHop · 17/08/2013 20:01

Don't lie about why you are leaving. You aren't doing anything wrong and they need telling. Industries are too small - you don't want a reputation as a liar.

marriedinwhiteisback · 17/08/2013 20:06

The OP won't be earning a solicitor's/financial sector salary though littlemissabs and neither will she have the control over her workflow that comes with seniority. When I was in that world 20+ years ago I was on 100k+ and obviously it went with the territory - the OP is probably on an average salary and it doesn't but the contractual terms of her employment do and should because to be expected to put in 30-40PCT more than one is paid for when lives/patients matter is wholly unacceptable - it's not as though the OP will be in for a bonus worth more than her salary if she does; rather participation in a case for negligence..

You have something better lined up OP - just go for it. Just explain you have had an offer that will suit you better and ask to see a copy of your reference.

Good luck.

SleepyCatOnTheMat · 17/08/2013 20:10

Unfotunately this is the nature of much of the NHS. I'm always surprised when people ask me as a nursing auxiliary why the NHS has the problems it does. There are simply not enough nurses. I've just read that nursing academics have calculated that the most patients a nurse can look after safely is four; the average nurse in the UK looks after nine on any given shift. But you don't have to put up with it, OP. You don't need the money or a reference, and you sure don't need the stress, so why stay?

WeAreSix · 17/08/2013 20:11

TBH it sounds like every Nursing post I've ever worked in!

SleepyCatOnTheMat · 17/08/2013 20:16

Doesn't make it right, WeAreSix.

Original poster
jammiedodger79 · 17/08/2013 20:19

Hawkmoth- the Cqc are coming in weekly at the moment due to a few things. Worrying!

OP posts:
CombineBananaFister · 17/08/2013 20:19

On a personal level, as a recruiter/trainer, i get peed off off with investing time in people only for them to leave quickly as sooo much paperwork/effort is involved BUT i don't think YANBU to leave this job. Infact it's quite admirable in this day and age that you even feel guilty as so many dont give a shit-the recession as made both parties cutthroat.

Like someone says, they wouldn't think twice about chopping/changing to suit them - plus you are at least doing the right thing by cutting your losses now, rather than 2 months down the line. At least they can look back at other candidates on hold whilst it's this recent.

Also, i know some jobs warrant it and am probably a bit naive as i work in the lower end of the job market but i simply don't agree with this unpaid hours, competitive no-breaks culture-it's crazy and am glad i don't have to experience it or expect others in our employ to.

NonnoMum · 17/08/2013 20:23

Loads of unpaid extra hours...
Is it teaching?

beepoff · 17/08/2013 20:30

YANBU to leave. But:

You might be leaving them in the shit and other employeed might experience the same as you in the future so I think the least you can do is tell them exactly why you are leaving so they can fix the problem.

MrsWedgeAntilles · 17/08/2013 20:30

Leave and ask for an exit interview so that the conditions are flagged up to HR. If you're ok financially I wouldn't recommend staying somewhere you hate.
There are some really devious practices in nurse recruitment. I once saw a particularly nasty one where the advertised a small number of posts in a really popular area and had a large number of posts on a related but unpopular area that weren't advertised with the first jobs. They told a whole load of new nurses they'd been unsuccessful for the job they'd applied for but offered them jobs in the less popular area. At the time of the job offer they were told they could reapply in 6 months when they'd had some experience in the less popular area. There were about 10 or 12 of them who started at around the same time and as they got up to the 6 months mark they blocked any kind of transfer from the less popular area to the more popular area Angry

marriedinwhiteisback · 17/08/2013 20:35

The day a member of my family is in hospital and during ny 24 hour period I am with them and I feel the nurses are too overworked to provide adequate care I shall complain formally to the ceo of the hospital, the health minister and my local MP.

Babyroobs · 17/08/2013 20:43

Sounds like most of the Nursing posts I've worked in too, the exception being my current job!

Voerendaal · 17/08/2013 21:38

Nursing has always expected staff to stay late if necessary. The problem is that nurse managers do not accept that this happens all the time. I have argued about this with a Head of Nursing, who stated it was the nurses fault if hey could not hand over the ward to the next shift in the time allowed. I have over 25 years experience and I can't hand over in the time allowed. Not safely anyway. As a senior nurse who is currently off sick with stress, I urge you to leave and get another job. Very very sad, but there is a culture which blames the nurses for all the problems, we all know there are not enough nurses and the workload has increased hugely over th last decade.
The very sad thing is that nurses at the coal face are not supported by their managers.
I wish you well x

Coconutty · 17/08/2013 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

llittleyello · 17/08/2013 21:44

Yanbu. Go politely and don't look back. No need to feel bad at all.

alwaysinamuckingfuddle · 17/08/2013 21:53

LessMissAbs...

Not quite sure what role the op is doing but it is possibly a Care Assistant on minimum wage (think the £7 mark). Even if you work an 80 hour week as a lawyer you will be earning a lot more than that. You are out of touch my love...

Val007 · 17/08/2013 21:56

LessMissAbs, the clock-watchers have families, children and other committments to take care of. Life does not start and end with the job. But you will realise this once you have children Wink

OP, just leave. Tell them why though. This might teach them a lesson!