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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I/was I unreasonable to withhold info from colleague regarding dept changes? WWYD? (long, sorry).

31 replies

crushedintherush · 17/08/2013 17:53

Ok, back story.

I previously posted a couple of threads earlier in the year (january) regarding my colleague who is hell bent on making my life a misery. She is extremely manipulative, used underhand tactics to try to undermine my work, and has bullied me out of earshot of other members of staff. On top of this, she foisted a job she particularly hated on to me because it was a busy part of the role which meant she couldn't wander off, and she kept on with the easier jobs.

Anyway, on the Monday just gone, our manager came to our dept and said that they now only need 1 person to run the department, not 2. The part that my colleague foisted on to me was remaining, and the role my colleague was doing was being moved to another dept. There will be no job losses, only a move to another dept. She explained that all respective managers were visiting their same depts across the Trust on the Monday to advise their employees, so everyone knew at the same time what was happening. My colleague, however, does not work on Mondays.

I asked our manager if she could come and explain all this again to my colleague the day after, (tuesday) as I thought it would be better coming from them, not me, as I didn't want to get a word of it wrong, worrying how she was going to react.

Anyway, the manager came back the next day and told her, and I explained to her there and then that I thought it was up to the managers to tell her, not me. Of course she was very pleasant while the manager was there, but as soon as she left, she went quiet, and kept on leaving the dept. Not long afterwards, I went home so that was that.

I was off on weds, but when I came back on Thurs, I found her doing the job she had foisted onto me. I told her in no uncertain terms that I knew what she was doing, and she let rip, accusing me of not telling her about the changes before the management, that I was a 'dirty, sneaky conniving little b*h'. She then vented her vitriol on me, saying just the most horrible untrue things, and I just blew my top. I told her what I thought of her, that I was glad I wasn't going to be working with her any longer, 2 years of stress just came out. I couldn't stop Sad

I did seek advice from a couple of people about whether to tell her or not, so it was not like I was being underhand. They agreed that it should be left to management, but WWY have done in my shoes? Please be honest....Hmm

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Sokmonsta · 18/08/2013 22:23

Ywnbu to do as you did. Both with insisting a manager told her the changes and letting her know exactly how she has made you feel.

Even if she does go bad mouthing you to anyone who listens, she'll soon show herself up to be the person you found her to be.

With the best will in the world, it is very hard to keep a front up which hides the person you are entirely. It might hold for a while. But eventually cracks show and other people start picking pieces away.

crushedintherush · 18/08/2013 22:28

sister77, sorry, didn't mean to leave you out of the replies.

Many people in our dept have hinted, but not come out and actually said, what they think of her. I think there would be a collective sigh of relief too, even if its a quiet one.

She has also been rude to people who work in the main dept a few times, so should be fun when the movearound commences ...

Hopefully she might leave when she realises she has to do some work....

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crushedintherush · 18/08/2013 22:45

Exactly sokmonsta, the cracks have been showing bit by bit over a long period of time.

Last Thursday, the real her shone through..

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GladbagsGold · 18/08/2013 22:51

I was targeted by a bully at work once. It was horrible, OP I really do feel for you.

Just think though, you only have to deal with her for a little longer. She has to deal with herself every day of her life!!! Now that's karma :)

rockybalboa · 18/08/2013 22:53

She sounds fucking horrid. It wasn't your place to tell her of the changes and you did entirely the right thing. Good riddance to her!!

crushedintherush · 19/08/2013 20:13

Rockybalboa -yes, totally agreed, good riddance to her Smile

Gladbags- Happy to hear you don't have to put up with the bullying anymore also Smile

She has been like a dark rainy grey cloud hanging over me until now. And people have noticed I 'm much chirpier today.

You're right when you say she has to deal with herself. Poor love... Grin

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