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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect parents to supervise their children whilst in a swimming pool?

46 replies

juicychops · 16/08/2013 21:43

a child was face down in the water in the deeper end of the pool and pulled out by a life guard unconscious. it was horrible to see. it wasn't until the life guard had got the child from the middle of the pool and made it back to the side of the pool that the dad came along and said 'he's mine'.

the dad was doing laps. the mum was in the shallow end with their younger child.

luckily after about 40 seconds of being lifted out the water the child coughed up water and started screaming and crying.

He was no older than 6.

far too young to be left alone in the deep end without an ounce of supervision. what is the matter with people

OP posts:
cushtie335 · 16/08/2013 21:46

My son has almost drowned 3 times, right in front of me. Things happen fast. No idea what the exact circumstances of your OP are, so can't judge. Unlike you.

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2013 21:47

That's horrible juicy. Why on earth was the Dad doing laps?

Did your own DC witness it too?

WorraLiberty · 16/08/2013 21:48

YABU

But I can't believe the lifeguards let the child in the deep end (or didn't notice him there) and that he remained face down long enough to fall unconscious, without being spotted by them sooner.

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2013 21:48

But you weren't doing laps of the pool cushtie presumably?

WorraLiberty · 16/08/2013 21:48

Sorry I meant 'YANBU'

Sirzy · 16/08/2013 21:48

It only takes a second for an accident to happen. it only takes a second for a child to swim away. I am sure the parents are kicking enough tonight without being judged for what happened.

Sirzy · 16/08/2013 21:49

Good point Worra. The pool must have been pretty empty to for no other swimmers to have grabbed him before it got to that stage surely?

x2boys · 16/08/2013 21:52

it really depends my dh cant take both our boys swimming on his own despite my six year old having had swimming lessons for a year and can swim about 75metres unaided difficult to both go as we work opposite shifts to cover childcare as there are a fair few single parents near me know idea how they manage.he would of course supervise our oldest but maybe from a distance as my three year old cant swim.

mynameisslimshady · 16/08/2013 21:52

Lets hope the parents aren't on MN eh, I'm sure they would love to know that they were being judged by random strangers.

Maybe each parent thought he was with the other one, maybe the little one slipped under the water and the Mum took her eyes off him for a minute while she dealt with that, maybe he had gone to the toilet and slipped in on the way back or a million other reasons.

Have you never made a mistake or had a lapse in judgement that could have turned out so much worse?

cushtie335 · 16/08/2013 21:53

No, wasn't doing laps. He jumped fully clothed into a pool at a friend's house (indoor dealy with no "shallow end, just 4 feet across the board) before he could swim. And twice at a holiday resort in Nerja, both before he could swim. We taught him by the time he was 4 so weren't negligent in that department. He also had a penchant for swallowing coins. Choked on a 1 Euro and a 20p piece, resulting in a tube and a balloon having to go down his throat to retrieve it. Just saying that things happen in a split second and being judged for it isn't helpful.

JemimaMuddledUp · 16/08/2013 21:53

YANBU.

In our local pool you aren't allowed to leave a child under 8 and do lengths. The only way that you can do lengths if you have a child under 8 is if they are a good enough swimmer to do them alongside you (some children are, mine never were!).

His poor parents though. DS1 nearly drowned in a pool when he was about 5 and he wasn't even that far from DH and me, we were just distracted by DS2 and DD and didn't realise he was out of his depth.

nkf · 16/08/2013 21:54

If he couldn't swim, he shouldn't have been in the deep end without supervision. I'm with you on this. Ignore the accidents happen, don't judge brigade. Deep water is dangerous and needs to be treated with caution and kids need to be taught swimming and water safety. And until they are safe, you watch them like a hawk. One adult and two small non swimmers means you have to be vigilant. The lifeguard has the whole pool to watch and muscles to display.

ThreesyDoesIt · 16/08/2013 21:55

Thank goodness the outcome wasn't what it could have been.

Original poster
juicychops · 16/08/2013 21:57

the pool was reasonably busy he just looked like a kid looking under the water with goggles on. there was a big inflatable thing in the pool which had most people's attention. I was actually the one to turn him over and lift him out to hand him to the lifeguard because I was closest (although had my back to him until a lifeguard shouted).

the dad didn't come over until about 15 seconds later as he wasn't anywhere near us. the lifeguard did say to the dad 'what the hell is he doing over here?'

OP posts:
HeySoulSister · 16/08/2013 21:58

horrible op....you dont have full facts

littlemisswise · 16/08/2013 21:59

YANBU

When we were on holiday recently a couple left their non swimming pre-schooler in the pool with their DD, who was about 8, whilst they went off to the bar for a drink. You couldn't see the pool from the bar area. DH and I were just shocked, DH couldn't relax so kept his eye on them.

mercibucket · 16/08/2013 21:59

glad there was a happy ending to this, poor kids, poor parents and poor lifeguard

it is hard to keep an eye out all the time but at that age its just what you have to do, or not go swimming with more than 1

NapaCab · 16/08/2013 22:00

The problem with drowning is that it happens very quickly and is very quiet. Contrary to popular ideas, someone who is drowning doesn't shout or cry for help, they just bob up and down, gasping for air and then sink under. Good lifeguards are trained to watch for signs of struggle like this.

The dad could have told the child to stay in the shallow end but the child drifted towards the deep end and got into trouble quickly. Both the lifeguards and the dad should definitely have been more vigilant.

mercibucket · 16/08/2013 22:01

littlemisswise, there was a death recently abroad in exactly the circumstances you describe Sad

nkf · 16/08/2013 22:02

People are weirdly dim around water. People who understand how dangerous traffic is get this chillled out, relaxed poolside behaviour. I remember a very distressing news story a few years ago about children who went missing at the beach. And there were masses of news stories about suspected paedophiles prowling the beaches. And of course it turned out to be the most obvious thing . And none of the papers mentioned the sea.

WilsonFrickett · 16/08/2013 22:04

I agree, horrible op. I got into trouble in the water when I was around 8, it absolutely wasn't my dm's fault it was me being over-confident in my own abilities. I'd hate to think someone then came and posted on the Internet judging my DM for it. if the Internet had been invented then

You clearly had a shock, but you don't what happened or how.

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2013 22:14

Why are people saying that juicy doesn't know what happened? She was there. She has described what happened. How come you are saying it it didn't happen?

i would imagine juicy was quite shocked at having to scoop an unconscious child from the pool. Sad

HeySoulSister · 16/08/2013 22:15

how can you lane swim with a pool full of kids and an inflatable

WorraLiberty · 16/08/2013 22:20

How big was this pool then to have lanes, an iflatable (presumably in the shallow end) and more space in the deep end?

And why did the lifeguard shout instead of doing their job?

They sound like a bunch of fuckwits for not spotting a 6yr old in the deep end and then not saving him when he was drowning.

I hope many questions are asked

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2013 22:20

Some adults do give it a go at our local pool during Splash Hour Hey. Not lanes because the ropes aren't up but definitely lengths. Dodging the inflatables.

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