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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get a cat even though my mum is allergic

24 replies

frogspoon · 16/08/2013 18:10

Currently living my my parents, but planning to move out soon.

I would be living alone, and would really like to get a cat for company when I move out.

My mother is slightly allergic to cats: they do make her sneeze after she has been with them for a few hours, but nothing more serious. I think she is allergic to the hair.

I wouldn't mind getting a naturally hypoallergenic breed (some breeds produce lower levels of allergens), but I would prefer to adopt one from a shelter, and this might make it more difficult.

I would be happy to make sure I have done a thorough clean before she visits and could also make sure the cat is in another room.

Am I being completely unreasonable?

N.B. I'm not a big fan of dogs/ most other pets so no point suggesting a different pet, it would either be a cat or no pet at all.

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 16/08/2013 18:14

If it's a mild allergy then Piriton will help her.

It's not the cat hair, it's the dander from their skin. Thorough cleaning will help, but if it's for short visits I don't see the problem - although there is the potential for the allergy to get worse.

And don't believe that some cats produce lower levels of allergens - I allegedly have one of those (long story, not my choice!) and it simply isn't true!

Silverfoxballs · 16/08/2013 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 16/08/2013 18:17

A thorough clean and cat in another room would make little difference to someone with an allergy to cats. It's the dander that causes the problem and it can take upto a year to clear a house of a cat's dander.

If your mum is mildly allergic she may well be able to visit if she takes an antihistamine before coming round to see you.

(mum to a dd with a severe cat allergy)

BrokenBanana · 16/08/2013 18:20

It's up to you if you get one but you would have to be prepared for your mum to not want to come to your house.

BrokenBanana · 16/08/2013 18:21

Blah, I don't think that made sense. I'm tired :(

I mean there might come a time where she might not want to come round due to her allergies.

volestair · 16/08/2013 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kinkyfuckery · 16/08/2013 18:23

Of course it's not unreasonable for you to get one, for your own home. If she can stand a couple of hours, surely that's a decent length visit. Maybe she could handle more if she took an antihistamine?

Have you said you are considering it and had a bad reaction from her?

volestair · 16/08/2013 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

patienceisvirtuous · 16/08/2013 18:28

If you work it would be good if you can take two so they can keep each other company. Could your mam take an antihistamine when she visits? And you can do a thorough hoover etc beforehand.

RedHelenB · 16/08/2013 18:28

my exh was really allergic but when we got one as a pet ( plan was to keep it completely out of sleeping areas)& he was around it all the time it seemd to stop.

lifelorn · 16/08/2013 18:30

I am allergic to cats and two of my dd have them. When I visit and stay over they make sure cat is never allowed in bedroom that I use. I take a Clarityn tablet 1 hour before I arrive and sometimes have to take a second one if we are staying in the same room for a while. However, both cats have decided that as I keep away from them they will attempt to jump on my lap!! (

bruffin · 16/08/2013 18:39

Both dh and ds are allergic to cats. Dh gets used to a cat once he around it, but can get bad symptoms with a strange cat. We got a short hair rescue cat and neither of them suffer with her.

creativevoid · 16/08/2013 18:41

It is only unreasonable if you want her to visit you.

Original poster

frogspoon · 16/08/2013 18:50

Well, I am looking at places which are pretty small, so I wouldn't be doing alot of entertaining and she would never be staying over, no space!

If she were unable to come to visit because of her allergies, I would understand, and would just come over to her instead (or arrange to go out with her).

I have subtly dropped hints about how I would like to get a cat, so I don't think she would be too surprised if I did.

OP posts:

Merlini · 16/08/2013 19:02

My mum is very allergic to cats and her allergy has got worse through her life. She can't visit people who own cats any more. Used to be ok for a couple of hours with an antihistamine but not any more. She's had two anaphylactic shocks. Allergies often get worse so there may be a point at which your mum can't visit, up to you how you feel about that. I would never get a cat.

satsumagirl · 16/08/2013 19:29

Speaking as someone who is allergic to cats (not anaphylaxis but I start wheezing and scratching and getting a big rash when around them) it may put your mum off visiting. I won't visit people with cats now as I wheeze and scratch the whole time I am there! Arrrgh. Not relaxing.

Goldenbear · 16/08/2013 19:48

With the circumstances you describe- small accommodation, unlikely to be entertaining her there much and her not staying over, it seems ashame not to 'rescue' one. However, your circumstances might change over time as cats live a fairly long time, so it may cause problems.

I was going to post on here a few weeks back about the same subject but from the other perspective- my MIL announced she may be getting a small dog. I am allergic to a lot of animals - horses, dogs, cats, rabbits and when I am in their company I get wheezy, have runny eyes and an itchy back, it is extremely uncomfortable and the problems go on for a few hours after the contact. I thought my MIL was being a bit unreasonable because she likes me to bring the children around to see her at least once a week and frankly i would stop going. I said as much but she was fairly flippant in her response and muttered something about me not visiting enough for it to be a problem.

ShakeAndVac · 16/08/2013 19:57

I'm allergic to cats. If I visit someone with a cat I'll take an allergy tablet before going.
It reduces it a little bit, but I'll still get itchy eyes and a sudden bunged up nose.
Really, really not pleasant. Don't be surprised if she can't visit you any more.

puffylovett · 16/08/2013 21:30

I'm allergic to cats but had 2 of my own as I love them. I built up resistance after a while of being around them all the time. Sadly they had to go to my brother when Lo's arrived as they both have bad skin, until we went and catnapped one back when the elder one died and he was being neglected

puffylovett · 16/08/2013 21:31

Yanbu by the way, it is your home nd they are great company

EvaM · 16/08/2013 21:38

I'm mildly allergic to cats (only mildly) but regularly visit my boyfriend who has 3 (plus kittens until they are given away).

I take an antihistamine when itching and sneezing kicks in (but rarely need it now, I think I developed a tolerance).

It depends on how allergic your mum is, but if it is, as you say, mild, she'll live.

I suggest asking her directly.

x2boys · 16/08/2013 22:23

I,m very allergic and thinking of it I would find dog to much hard work but have a three yr old with possible ASD and have seen programmes about animals helping with speech?

Original poster

frogspoon · 16/08/2013 22:40

I've had a look into cat/kitten fostering (basically where you look after a cat/kitten for a shorter period of time, until a permanent home is found)

It would mean that if it doesn't work out and my mum is unable to visit because of her allergies, the cat would go to a permanent home, and then my mum would be able to visit again.

But if it did work out and my mum didn't find her allergies too bad I could always keep the cat (or get another!)

OP posts:

Mouserama · 17/08/2013 10:03

My DH is allergic to cats. We have a cat (I had her before I met DH). He just takes anthistamines (which he needs for hayfever anyway) and he's fine - and he loves DC (Darling Cat!) to bits...

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