I've been trying to make arrangements to see friends and family this weekend before our house move which will mean we have to work on the house for a while.
Aside from visiting family and friends 200 miles away, I've been trying to arrange a meet with uni friends en route to family. Friend A had asked a group of us to keep Saturday free for a barbecue at her house, which was a pain for me (and DH and toddler DD), but we were trying to make it work.
Friend B said she couldn't make Saturday so could we please (all) reschedule for Sunday. After some faffing, friend A agreed, and as it suited us better, so did I.
Then friend B accepted some work on Sunday, so she asked if we couldn't all reschedule for Friday and she would stay over with friend A as it suited her work plans to have free accommodation. Lots of others had dropped out by this stage, so the new plan was afternoon tea at friend A's. We discussed and decided we could make it work (but had to alter family plans for the second time).
Friend B then had something else come up and suggested we all meet in a different town 50 miles away at a different time as she could no longer stay over with friend A and she has enough driving to cope with this weekend. It's all roughly en route to family but really quite out of the way, and a PITA for DD's nap, lunch, and our onward journey. I said I'd think about it, but discussed with friend A who said it was a PITA for her too, so ultimately we went back to the third plan of Friday afternoon tea at A's. (A and I work btw, but have booked time off).
B went into a huge strop and sent a hugely PA text asking why couldn't change our plans to make sure she could see us all. And couldn't A and I go back to the Sunday plan so I could drive to see B today? I resisted the impulse to send snarky messages and just responded that I'd tried to fit in with the changes but couldn't make this plan work. B is now not responding to A or me. But sod that, we'll enjoy our cake. But I felt awful all night for letting her down and sad that I won't see her. Then I woke up this morning I realised I really did make the effort - three times - and it's really pissed me off!
For background, friend B has massive form for being an egomaniac but is otherwise very loyal and fun. The rest of our uni group is doing v well professionally, ten years after graduation, but B has elected to pursue a very unreliable, competitive career - like acting (but not). She used to be very entitled and sheltered at uni but we managed to beat it out of her eventually, but now at 30 she's living at home with her parents and younger siblings and she's worse than ever. They're buying her a flat in London next year and have recently bought her an expensive car, so all of her earning at occasional jobs/tutoring is spent on holidays and designer clothes and handbags, yet she continually tells us she doesn't have much money. She's not saving any money and has no regular income stream. Working friends and I are clearly a bit envious that everything is handed to her, but what winds me up is that she genuinely doesn't think she's well off, or spoiled. And she doesn't see why we can't fit in with her plans (I have a job, a DH who travels for work a lot, a toddler, and lots of committee responsibilities, and a house move that will stretch our budget for several years). She also is oblivious to her hurtful comments about how boring working 9-5 is (some of us have to!) and actually laughed when I showed her our new forever house because 'it's just so CHEAP - my flat will be nearly that much!'
So, er, AIBU to be genuinely pissed off that she made me feel like not seeing her is all my fault?