To think this woman shouldn't have said...

[BelieveinWigan]

So the other weekend I took dd and her friend (both 13) to go ape. The trainer started talking to her friend and said where are you from and she answered Wigan. The woman then asked where her parents are from and she said she didn't know about her dad and the woman went oh you don't know him well she does

Yes LEM.
Feel free to be less disappointed

The trainer's questions sound to me like when someone decides the person looks "foreign" because of their skin colour or maybe accent, asks where they're from and gets told a placename in the UK and isn't satisfied with that because they still think the person's origins are non-UK so they ask where the parents are from. I can't think of any reason for someone at an activity to need to know where the child's parents are from.

I once taught a foreign language to a teenager in my own home. His mother came with him the first time and didn't ask anything about my qualifications or whether I spoke the language bilingually or as a first language. But whilst she was there my h came home. I introduced him and she immediately asked where he was from. He replied Placename UK. She then asked where his parents were from and got the same answer and gave up. My then h has dark olive skin whereas I'm white British.

I suppose she looks Irish with ginger hair and pale skin but both her parents look very English

I have never thought to quiz people about their origins because I have always lived in very multicultural areas.

I do get a few strange looks when my friends 13 yearold DD introduces me as her Grandmother. The family is Fijian Indian

I accidentally offended someone on a residential course at a university. We'd been told to unpack and gather in a particular room and there was that awkward early conversation time as you introduced yourselves and drank bad coffee.

A woman sat next to me and we introduced ourselves and made bland remarks about the university, the town and the weather etc. She said she was very tired and I asked where she'd come from. And she very loudly asked what her ethnic origins had to do with anything. Heads turned.

I went bright scarlet and tried to explain that I'd travelled from Warwick, where I live and not too far away, and wondered where she lived and if she'd had to travel far as she'd said she was tired.

There was an elongated embarrassed silence and she said she'd come from Milton Keynes and we lapsed into silence while everyone else decided not to sit near us.

I still go hot and cold when I think about it.

Sounds like she was making conversation, can't see the problem.

I do find it odd how a 13 year old who is in contact with her dad can have so little knowledge of the family that she doesn't know where he is from though!

abit off..what if she didnt see her dad?

i had s omething like this with ds1 when he was 6.. was in tesco buying a farthers present for my dad with him. when the cashier said to ds ohh, are you looking forward to spoiling your daddy, he will love the chocolates.

que ds1 saying, no this is for my grand dad.. i dont have a daddy any more.

cashier going bright red and trying to back pedle "oh oh im sure your granddad will be very happy with it"

i was angry that ds had to be reminded of it, sad the way it weas just so normally to him, sad that he felt he had to correct that.

though i can see she was trying to be nice and she wasnt to know. it was just a foot in mouth situation.

But in that case wondering you never mention any relative to a child unless they are with them at the time. You can't spend your life not talking about family with children for fear of possibly inadvertently upsetting someone.

oh i know, i wasnt angry as such at her and wasnt rude to her. it just made me sad and angry on ds behalf that it was true, and whilst i did think she could ask who they where for.. instead of assuming it was for his dad, that said ..

i know she meant no harm in it and was just trying to chatty and nice.

That's what I meant! She didn't know the circumstances

She was making conversation! You are making a mountain out of a molehill!